lovexhatexme Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Alright so my problem is this.. I have gained some weight recently due to starting birth control. I moved in with my boyfriend a couple of months ago and we've been dating almost 2 and a half years. And I've noticed I gained weight. At least 20-25lbs since I started birth control (which I started a couple of days before I moved in with him. At first nothing really wrong,sex was fine. but now its been 6 weeks and he gets really limp and won't stay hard. And this past week he hasn't even touched me. He told me about a month ago I have gained weight, the nicest way he could. (I told him to tell me whenever I gain a lot of weight to tell me). Since then my self esteem hasn't been the same. And now its even worse. He says its his fault. But I know its because of my weight. I'm desperate and crushed. I wish he could just tell me the truth as to why he won't have sex with me instead of lying and saying he's tired all the time. My self esteem is shot. I've been trying to look hot for him but it doesnt work. I don't know what to do. I'm working out but 20lbs isn't going away overnight. And I can't get off my birth control due to medical reasons. Please help I'm desperate! How do I make him feel attracted to me without forcing him. Link to post Share on other sites
yasmina1706 Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Can't you change your birth control? Talk to your doctor, there are SO many different types available and maybe one won't have the side effect of weight gain. I gained weight on my old combined BC but switched to a progesterone-only mini-pill and haven't gained any weight since i've been on it. Link to post Share on other sites
loverofloveandstuff Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I wish he could just tell me the truth as to why he won't have sex with me instead of lying and saying he's tired all the time. My self esteem is shot. I've been trying to look hot for him but it doesnt work. I don't know what to do. I'm working out but 20lbs isn't going away overnight. And I can't get off my birth control due to medical reasons. Please help I'm desperate! How do I make him feel attracted to me without forcing him. TBH I think it's sweet that your boyfriend puts the blame on myself. Do you really want him to tell you that the reason he won't have sex with you is your weight gain? I think he has already said enough by acknowledging the fact that you've gained weight, he can't do much more than that without sound liking an ass and he definitely can't force you to lose weight. Talk to him about it. Tell him your not feeling the best because you know that you've gained weight but you're working to lose it. It will give him comfort and it will give you motivation to keep going. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 are you exercising at all...... maybe you should start. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Are you sure you're the problem? I'm not. I think maybe he might be experiencing ED. This is NOT your fault. And if he's telling you it's not you - believe him. BY all means try a new pill, start a health regime, cut out carbs, or reduce them.... but I guarantee that even if you do all this and lose the weight, he will still have an issue with remaining erect. And then you'll just think it's something else about you. But I really, truly don't believe it is. At all. Link to post Share on other sites
loverofloveandstuff Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 are you exercising at all...... maybe you should start. I second this. As far as I know, the pill doesn't actually make you gain weight, it just makes your hormones go crazy when you first get on it so you might eat more and crave junk. When your hormones start to settle down you shouldn't have a problem with weight gain (not due to the pill atleast). With excercising and a healthy eating plan you should be fine... you just have to learn to suppress the cravings and don't keep 'naughty' foods around the house. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I second this. As far as I know, the pill doesn't actually make you gain weight, it just makes your hormones go crazy when you first get on it so you might eat more and crave junk. When your hormones start to settle down you shouldn't have a problem with weight gain (not due to the pill atleast). With excercising and a healthy eating plan you should be fine... you just have to learn to suppress the cravings and don't keep 'naughty' foods around the house. yep. when i have been on BC i also gained some weight, luckily my boobs got bigger too . but it is the hormonal aspect which is totally involved in how your body processed and stores energy and fats. add in the fact that you are stressed by the BF and HIS problems- well that doesn't help any either. exercise will help you relieve some stress and help your mood. Link to post Share on other sites
Yer_Blues Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Alright so my problem is this.. I have gained some weight recently due to starting birth control. I moved in with my boyfriend a couple of months ago and we've been dating almost 2 and a half years. And I've noticed I gained weight. At least 20-25lbs since I started birth control (which I started a couple of days before I moved in with him. At first nothing really wrong,sex was fine. but now its been 6 weeks and he gets really limp and won't stay hard. And this past week he hasn't even touched me. He told me about a month ago I have gained weight, the nicest way he could. (I told him to tell me whenever I gain a lot of weight to tell me). Since then my self esteem hasn't been the same. And now its even worse. He says its his fault. But I know its because of my weight. I'm desperate and crushed. I wish he could just tell me the truth as to why he won't have sex with me instead of lying and saying he's tired all the time. My self esteem is shot. I've been trying to look hot for him but it doesnt work. I don't know what to do. I'm working out but 20lbs isn't going away overnight. And I can't get off my birth control due to medical reasons. Please help I'm desperate! How do I make him feel attracted to me without forcing him. Ahh the age old problem. Being overweight makes you unattractive, being unattractive makes you feel degraded, and losing weight takes a long time. The sooner you deal with it, the shorter your suffering. Running + less food, not a whole conquers that, including birth control. Utilize the support structure you have in place. You're boyfriend will likely find it attractive as soon as you start working on this, even if you don't regain your former shape immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 You're boyfriend will likely find it attractive as soon as you start working on this, even if you don't regain your former shape immediately. i hope to god you are not implying that the BF's dysfunctional penis is her fault? seriously........ Link to post Share on other sites
Yer_Blues Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 (edited) i hope to god you are not implying that the BF's dysfunctional penis is her fault? seriously........ Did I say anything about a penis? lol... From the given circumstances that she believes her boyfriend finds her less attractive (which really means she finds herself less attractive), and her loss of attractiveness is due to weight, the solution is to lose the weight. There is no other solution. I don't care if she gains fifty more pounds and her boyfriend can still go Lexington Steele on her, you need to be satisfied with yourself. If the thought is there that she is the cause, it doesn't matter if she is. Edited December 10, 2010 by Yer_Blues Link to post Share on other sites
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