Feeling awful, confused, lost.

[Dragonflys]

Hi.

 

Please refer to my post 'breaking up and searching my soul' post from two days ago for my story.

 

I now am going through a tough time. I was OK until I saw her today and now I cannot think. When she was there talking to me I didn't know how to respond. Personally I feel lousy so I don't want to talk to her, don't want to talk at all. But I still want so much to spend time with her, but knowing in the back of my mind that our closeness is now by the clock, I find it hard to just smile and be happy about it all.

 

We are now playing tennis together later on and I feel happy about that, but also it is a further challenge to my feelings. It's very hard when someone you care for and love can only care for you back.

 

See the most important thing to me is knowing that the person you love is there just for you, so things like how much time spent together and how much independance is needed (within reason) is really not so much an issue if you know someone is there for you. Now we are just friends that base is gone. Reality bites.

 

I guess I didn't realise that just being friends would be this hard.

[billy the kid]

Hea hea, wait a minute...... you just started the relationship off backwords.... and the great thing is she is she is giving you a second chance... you were suspose to be "FRIENDS" first... so now be her friend and she will love you for it... just don't press the love issue... you can do it ... I promise it will work, just be her best friend and leave love out of it, and I know it will be hard but you can do it...... good luck..

Hi. Please refer to my post 'breaking up and searching my soul' post from two days ago for my story. I now am going through a tough time. I was OK until I saw her today and now I cannot think. When she was there talking to me I didn't know how to respond. Personally I feel lousy so I don't want to talk to her, don't want to talk at all. But I still want so much to spend time with her, but knowing in the back of my mind that our closeness is now by the clock, I find it hard to just smile and be happy about it all. We are now playing tennis together later on and I feel happy about that, but also it is a further challenge to my feelings. It's very hard when someone you care for and love can only care for you back. See the most important thing to me is knowing that the person you love is there just for you, so things like how much time spent together and how much independance is needed (within reason) is really not so much an issue if you know someone is there for you. Now we are just friends that base is gone. Reality bites. I guess I didn't realise that just being friends would be this hard.

[Tony T]

It's almost impossible to be friends with someone you are in love with...so why expend the energy. I think you are being cruel to yourself. And you are probably hoping something about the situation will change...that's even being more cruel to yourself.

 

I like to be nice and kind to myself. If you aren't nice to yourself, who else will be. Being nice and easy on yourself is staying away from people who will keep your emotions in a tailspin, unless you are a masochist.

 

Why are you bothering to be around this chick if you're going to feel awaful, confused and lost??? You are something else!!!

[Taressa]

Hi Oliver,

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this heartbreaking time.

 

I'm afraid your deceiving yourself and your friend. It's clear that you're not going to be satisfied with 'just' friendship.

 

Be kind to yourself and step away from the relationship a bit. Keep her in your life but only occasionally. I believe you'll find things slip back into perspective if you'll gather friends around you and enjoy the things with them that you did before you met her.

 

Loneliness throws our feelings way out of perspective. Fill your life with other things and you'll find joy returns to your life. Once you're strong and happy without her you may find there's room for friendship.

 

For now, please stop torturing yourself with this wishful thinking. Step away and rebuild. You'll be fine in time.