Can't, Don't wanna, Know I Should, Tried to...let go

[Odradek]

Hi everyone.

 

I'm new at this kinda thing, so I'll try and do my best.

 

 

See, my GF broke up with me about a month ago. She said it was because she wasn't ready for a relationship because she was confused and didn't quite know for sure what she wanted. After I thought about it a lot and then some, I realized I probably went too crazy over her and jumped head-first into a meet the parents/see each other everyday/share the holidays/ kind of relationship...one of those where you're all over each other's life. We're only 20, so I think I just sacred her.

 

Even tho i asked repeatedly, she refused to tell me wether she still had or not feelings for me. She's a blunt straight out girl, so I think she would have said so if that had been the case. I was devastated, I really was. Now I'm not devastated but I'm really having a hard time getting over the whole thing, but I've also learned a couple of things and think I could make it better a second time around...I really really want her back.

 

I know I know. You're all gonna say "forget about her buddy, it's over", but I've tried my best. I've been trying to avoid thinking about her, and I haven't called her or emailed her or sent her any IMs at all. But the thing is we're together in college and I have to see her at least 3 times a week. We also have the same friends, so it's not like I can just get her out of my life and move on. Plus there's this guy that's coming on to her really strong, and she's letting him. I don't know if she's doing it on purpose to make me jealous, but if she is, she's succeeding admirably.

 

My bday is early next week, so I'm going out tomorrow with all my friends (including her) to celebrate. I don't know if she's taking that guy or not, but I'm gonna be really uncomfortable if she is. I was thinking maybe this is my chance to get her back. Maybe I can ask her to the movies today, and pick her up tomorrow if she lets me. Or maybe I should just take this girl from work thats really interested in me and let her go with the guy, then maybe she'll be jealous and realize it was a mistake for her to break up with me.

 

Man!, I'm so sick of it, I wish I could just never see her again and get it over with...but I can't. Am I crazy? Should I try and get her back? Or just see how things go with the girl from work and since I'm at it try and see how she reacts to the danger of losing me definitely?

 

God Im lame.

[Hannah]

Your not lame.

Look if your ex really does like this guy then i say you should try this other girl.

At you party next weekend find out if your ex is taking this other guy if so then you invite the other girl and try it with her ,but don't use her because if your ex does invtie this guy to your birthday night shes is probobly falling for this guy. If she isn't inviting the guy then you should just go and see what you can make come out of the night talk to her , invite her out to the cinemas.

 

i hope this helps

[Odradek]

I took her to the movies yesterday. Afterwards in the car, we got to talking. I told her I didn't think she'd been completely honest about her reasons for breaking up with me and It'd really help me to get past the whole thing if she'd just come clean. Well she did. She said she didn't quite know what went wrong but she just started feeling uncomfortable around me and hence acting rude towards me like she did the whole last month we were together. She said she felt really bad about the whole thing, and that none of it had been my fault. I asked her to tell me honestly wether or not she had feelings for me, which she had refused to do in the past, and she said that she cared a great deal about me...as a friend. She confesed she is interested in this other guy and that although she can't just write off the possibility of us getting back in the future, it'd be best for me to move on.

 

I feel liberated, on one hand. On the other, I feel really dissapointed that all my hopes were shot down. I still really love her, but at least now I know for sure that I have no other choice than to move on with my life. I know it's not gonna be easy, I've tried before and not succeeded, but I'll do my best. It'll go away eventually, I hope. The fact that I have to see her and the guy many times a week sure doesn't help, but what are you gonna do?.

 

In the meanwhile, we're going out tonight, me and my friends. She's gonna be there, but she's not taking the guy. I'm taking that other girl tho, and judging from our talking on the phone I think were gonna have a good time.

 

It's confusing knowing what you have to do and at the same time knowing there's a big part of you that just doesn't wanna do it and then another part that wants to do it but is not sure it'll be able to.

 

But thanks anyway guys.

[lost_in_chgo]

Just a point here.

While it is certainly healthy to move on, it doesn't mean that you have to close off your heart to her. It may be that the timing for both of you will be right in the future. If it does happen that way, you will be stronger for it.

[Odradek]

I said we we're going out..and out we went!!. She did take that guy tho. And they did make out right in front of me and she sat in his lap just when i was looking and everything. It hurt for sure, I won't deny, but I kinda had no time to think about it since I was having such a wonderful time with my date. We got really silly talking and joking the entire night and by the end of the night we were huggin and kissin -not in front of them tho, I'm just not that kinda person (although sometimes I wish I were). I guess my momma just thaught me better than that.

 

It's a mixture of feelings you know. I really feel there might be something here with this new girl, but I can't deny I'm jealous over my ex and that guy. I guess I still love her. On the other hand I wish the best for them both, as I;ve heard from her hes a really wonderful guy. Happy, angry, jealous, confused, excited, mad...all at the same time.

 

What has me worrying tho is that I'm afraid I may be unknowingly using htis new girl for a shield. She's really great and I so do think she does deserve better than that, but then I also think I deserve to give myself a break.

 

The test of fire is gonna be Monday, when I'll have to face my ex and the guy inside my circle of friends at college. I know I'm gonna feel jealous and terrible. Maybe I should just stay out of their reach.

[Velveteel]

You sound like a kind and thoughtful guy. The best thing you could do is tell your new date that you broke up with your old girlfriend only a month ago and that you still have feelings for her. You can say that she's not interested in you romantically any more, and that you doubt anything will ever happen. And you can say what a great time you're having with her (the new girl). But be honest. Give her a chance to slow down the pace, in case she's really wild about you, and you're not emotionally available yet.