redbruins33 Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 I'm in some serious need of opinions about a marriage that is about to happen. I'm a 20 year old college student and would never consider getting married at this point in my life. However, my best friend, who's a 19 year old college student, is planning on getting married within the next 3 months (his wedding is tentatively set for March 5th, 2011)... Here's the kicker and here's what brought me here: He met his fiancee two months ago, and only started dating her one month ago. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't understand the rush to get married. Why not wait and make sure they're compatible? I don't believe people at 19 are who they're going to be when they're 24 or 25. There's so much maturing left, and I'm afraid that this marriage is destined to fail, and even if it doesn't, it's tearing his family apart. Clearly it's not my decision what he does with his life, but he's my best friend and I have his back, which truly means looking out for him with his best interests in mind. Honestly, who thinks he should go through with the marriage? And who thinks he shouldn't? I'd like to know the reasoning behind either answer, because honestly, I'm afraid I'm just too young to fully understand the concept of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 I think in situations like these you have to just keep your mouth shut. I have a friend who married a 400lbs woman. Do you think I agreed with it?(no) but saying anything would be insulting. You arn't some genius who your friend has come to for advice, so you should probably keep your mouth shut. I'm sure statisticaly its a bad idea but your friend isn't a statistic. And even if it is 100% going to fail and looks like it will too OUT OF RESPECT you should stay out of it. If he asks you for your opinion you should sugar coat it. "I wouldn't do it or blame you for backing out, but you need to make the best decision for yourself"... don't start bashing this because it sounds like it might happen and I wouldn't want you to lose a friend over this. If it bothers you so much you could stop being friends with the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redbruins33 Posted December 11, 2010 Author Share Posted December 11, 2010 Green, I've tried to handle it mostly the way you said, because I know it means more that I'm there to support him, rather than tell him to do something differently. I'm not planning on saying anything to him, other than that I wholeheartedly back him up on whatever he chooses. I wouldn't be a friend to him if I didn't support him in one of his biggest decisions in his life, but at the same time, that doesn't mean I wouldn't wonder about whether or not he should go through with it. I'm only looking for an opinion, for my sake, more or less. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted December 15, 2010 Share Posted December 15, 2010 It could work, it could not work, whose to say. My boyfriend's parents got married at 20 and are still blissfully married to this day 20 years later. There's no telling what could be going through his head and although it more than likely won't work (one month of dating is pretty short) it also could work. Maybe he knows something about this girl that you don't or maybe he's known her longer than he says he has, you don't know. Either way, it's not your decision it's his and as Green said your best bet is to just be supportive of him even if you don't support him being married so young. Be there for him as a friend and if he asks for your opinion give it to him as just that, your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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