Author redcurls Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 About that expensive little piece of equipment that he is using like blood bait - why not just buy yourself one. If it's that expensive, get a part-time job on the side for a few weeks, sell some stuff on eBay, skip eating out once or twice a week, and buy your own. That way, you wont need him OR his gear. It will be freeing for you. It will show him that your mindset is you can provide what you need for yourself. (and it will give you something to keep you busy in the meantime.) um.... its a bit more expensive than that... but I'm getting to a point where I think I would rather do without it than subject myself to this insanity. I'm trying. Link to post Share on other sites
rhonian Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 He is using you as a possible OPTION for later....how does that make you feel about yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author redcurls Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 He is using you as a possible OPTION for later....how does that make you feel about yourself? I know this. And I'm no one's option. Link to post Share on other sites
Carrot2000 Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 um.... its a bit more expensive than that... but I'm getting to a point where I think I would rather do without it than subject myself to this insanity. I'm trying. If you can't eat it, wear it, drive it, or live under it, you can do without this piece of equipment. Weren't you able to do without it before you got mixed up him? Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 um.... its a bit more expensive than that... but I'm getting to a point where I think I would rather do without it than subject myself to this insanity. I'm trying. You have a choice........keep whatever it is or get rid of the insanity. It's really that simple. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Author redcurls Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 If you can't eat it, wear it, drive it, or live under it, you can do without this piece of equipment. Weren't you able to do without it before you got mixed up him? Actually, I had my own at the time, that I shared with one of my siblings, who move overseas and took it with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Carrot2000 Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Actually, I had my own at the time, that I shared with one of my siblings, who move overseas and took it with them. Red, just give that man his "thing" back so you can have some peace of mind! As expensive as this piece of equipment is, it's not more valuable than your mental and emotional well-being. You can't put a price on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redcurls Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 Red, just give that man his "thing" back so you can have some peace of mind! As expensive as this piece of equipment is, it's not more valuable than your mental and emotional well-being. You can't put a price on that. I agree, I AM working on getting there. He has it now, so this is the perfect time for me to close this door. I am trying to be strong. I know you all think that I'm a pathetic whimp - and you are all absolutely right. Link to post Share on other sites
Carrot2000 Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I agree, I AM working on getting there. He has it now, so this is the perfect time for me to close this door. I am trying to be strong. I know you all think that I'm a pathetic whimp - and you are all absolutely right. Nope, I don't think you're a pathetic wimp. If I did, I would have to think the same of myself because I did some dumb shyte because I was in lurve. Link to post Share on other sites
xxSRMxx Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 My ''unhinged'' side has come out also.. and now ive told his wife. Walk away with your dignity, I wish i did. Link to post Share on other sites
Fieldsofgold Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I agree, I AM working on getting there. He has it now, so this is the perfect time for me to close this door. I am trying to be strong. I know you all think that I'm a pathetic whimp - and you are all absolutely right. No I don't think anyone thinks you're a wimp. You're just in a really bad, controlling R. So get a side job for as long as necessary to earn the replacement part. Working two jobs would probably be therapeitic for you. give you less time to focus on him. You need to do something different, find something to fill he time and your thoughts instead of him. If not a job, get involved in a cause or a charity you can feel passionate about. You need something to fill his void, in your time and in your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
ItsNeverForever Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Working two jobs would probably be therapeitic for you. give you less time to focus on him. You need to do something different, find something to fill he time and your thoughts instead of him. If not a job, get involved in a cause or a charity you can feel passionate about. You need something to fill his void, in your time and in your mind. CurlyGirl, this is actually a REALLY good idea...IMMERSE yourself in something new that takes up lots and lots of your time. It really will help...if I hadn't been so busy caring for my mom with her surgery and all the past two weeks, I'd be WAY WORSE off than I am now...and getting a p/t job is #1 on my to-do list once Mom's head is back above water. I need the distraction, and the money won't be so bad, either. Hope you're having a better day, sweetie... hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Hazyhead Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 um.... its a bit more expensive than that... but I'm getting to a point where I think I would rather do without it than subject myself to this insanity. I'm trying. I think the actual value is irrelevant... you can't put a price on your happiness and health. If he doesn't pick it up from wherever you want to dump it, get rid. Otherwise you are going to go round in circles and only add to the misery. For your last sentence here, I've gotta quote Owl's signature, which is the Yoda line 'Do or do not, there is no try' (or something similar). Now where's that control? Link to post Share on other sites
Fieldsofgold Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 CurlyGirl, this is actually a REALLY good idea...IMMERSE yourself in something new that takes up lots and lots of your time. It really will help...if I hadn't been so busy caring for my mom with her surgery and all the past two weeks, I'd be WAY WORSE off than I am now...and getting a p/t job is #1 on my to-do list once Mom's head is back above water. I need the distraction, and the money won't be so bad, either. Hope you're having a better day, sweetie... hugs. INF, I hope your mother makes a speedy recovery. When something major is removed from our lives, I think it is very important that we find something to fill that void. Otherwise, our focus will be on the void. If we find something to fill the time and thought spaces, we heal quicker. Sometimes in the process, we even find something more worthwhile than what we lost. I had a health crisis some years back, and found that volunteering at Children's Hospital not only took my mind off my troubles, but gave me something worthwhile to do, and made me view my life and my situation very differently. When my brother passed, I spent 4 months sitting at home in my pajamas, basically letting an employee run my business. I wasn't sure I could ever go back. Finally went out and got a part-time, minimum wage, weekend cashier job at a dollar store, just so I'd have to be dressed and somewhere at a certain time, and so I'd have to interact with people. (I told the employer at the time of application what I was doing.) Working there helped me tremendously. Besides the benefits of having to get dressed and show up, I met some really nice people I might not have otherwise ever met. And every day, I saw people dealing with their life issues; again, it put mine into perspective. (I donated my earnings to charity, so my working helped someone else, too.) Just taking the focus off ourselves and onto something - anything - else, improves the quality of our lives, but I think it is especially important when there is a major loss of any sort. Link to post Share on other sites
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