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Hi, i got into a fantastic relationship with a girl about 5 months ago. SHe, i would think, would be my soul mate, a mother of my children. I would adore her and worship her above all, everything was so beautiful, even though we did not have sex with each other. And a week ago we had oral sex, since then I dont know what happened, but I started doubting my feelings towards her, for the reason I dont even know. I am sitting here and have these weird thoughts, i asked myself would I want to have sex with her now, and the answer is NO, even though she still is the light of my life, but these thought make me feel guilty about myself. Is it something temporarry or is it possible to love and care for someone, yet not want to getting invloved in sex! I am confused, but one thing i know for sure is that, i would be devastated to let her go, but i questioned my sexual feelings or lack thereof, since that night.

 

Okay, i had sex 2 times before, and regreted that i had, with someone I should not have had....now all I am asking is for someone to tell me whether to let her go, after which i would proably be very depressed for a long time, or just stick around...cause I WANT her in my life...we are a perfect match, I dont know how could that one sexual encounter screwed me up this way. Maybe I thought I was ready, but was not......

 

Basically I consider myself a viring, meaning, have not slept with anyone with feelings bahind,,,,

 

help please!!

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This is an extremely unusual situation.

 

You need to get to a counsellor IMMEDIATELY and work through this. A well qualified professional psychologist can help you get through your thoughts and feelings about why your sudden disinterest in sex with this lady.

 

I can promise you that if you don't find out what the cause is, your relationship cannot last...and you may lose the love of your life.

 

This is too complex an issue to go into here. There are just so many possiblities for why you feel this way...but they can all be worked out if you get help quickly.

 

You may have related this experience to oral sex you had in the past with someone you had low regard for...there are just so very many things to be considered and a professional can help you with that.

 

It is definitely possible to care deeply about someone but not have a desire to have sex with them. This is called friendship. But this is not the stuff a lifelong romantic partnership is built around.

 

She can never be the mother of your children if you can't have intercourse with her...unless you have a better idea of how to impregnate her.

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