I've done something beyond stupid and I'm in a really bad place right now

[thissecretgirl]

I'll start by saying I am an idiot and get it out of the way. I havent stopped crying for 7 hours and am in a pretty bad headspace so I thought best come here.

 

If you dont remember this is me http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t255509/

 

 

I have been feeling really ill by all this and have been off work again. Its the combination of no contact/no answers and the undertaking I agreed to that have pretty much seen me off and resulted in the post traumatic stress.

I am finding it so difficult to cope. I cant cope anymore

 

This morning I was trying desperately to get in contact with my lawyers to try and get some advice about how to lift the undertaking or cancel it as the effect of it on me has been terrible.

I left message after message overa few days and today it was engaged all morning. I dont know what the hell possessed me but I found myself thinking if I called him I could appeal to his sense of decency and compassion and that hopefully the four years would count for enough that he would listen.

I'm stupid. He answered, he probably didnt recognise my home number and all I managed to say is ''hello its me, please would" and he hung up.

 

I am devastated and scared. He obviously hates me now or has bought all his lies about me. I dont know why I didnt expect it after everything.I guess I kept thinking/hoping he would come through and do something decent.

I'm petrified that now if thats how he is feeling towards me I will find myself back in court.

This is a nightmare. I wish I could wake up. It's killing me, seriously.

 

I cant stop crying, just animalistic howls and sobs. I am so frightened.

 

I cant do court again. It will kill me.

 

I should have listened to everyone who ever told me that he is a cruel man.

[OWoman]

I'll start by saying I am an idiot and get it out of the way. I havent stopped crying for 7 hours and am in a pretty bad headspace so I thought best come here.

 

If you dont remember this is me http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t255509/

 

 

I have been feeling really ill by all this and have been off work again. Its the combination of no contact/no answers and the undertaking I agreed to that have pretty much seen me off and resulted in the post traumatic stress.

I am finding it so difficult to cope. I cant cope anymore

 

This morning I was trying desperately to get in contact with my lawyers to try and get some advice about how to lift the undertaking or cancel it as the effect of it on me has been terrible.

I left message after message overa few days and today it was engaged all morning. I dont know what the hell possessed me but I found myself thinking if I called him I could appeal to his sense of decency and compassion and that hopefully the four years would count for enough that he would listen.

I'm stupid. He answered, he probably didnt recognise my home number and all I managed to say is ''hello its me, please would" and he hung up.

 

I am devastated and scared. He obviously hates me now or has bought all his lies about me. I dont know why I didnt expect it after everything.I guess I kept thinking/hoping he would come through and do something decent.

I'm petrified that now if thats how he is feeling towards me I will find myself back in court.

This is a nightmare. I wish I could wake up. It's killing me, seriously.

 

I cant stop crying, just animalistic howls and sobs. I am so frightened.

 

I cant do court again. It will kill me.

 

I should have listened to everyone who ever told me that he is a cruel man.

 

TSG, yes, you need your lawyer. But more than that, I think you need a counsellor. You are not in a good space if you are crying like that - and that's not something a lawyer can help with. Seeing a counsellor can also help should this land in the court again - s/he can testify to your emotional state at the time, and have the court take that into account. But you do need your lawyer to look into having the unfairness of the court decision challenged.

 

I know you've said previously that you like living in Oz, but given that you have no support systems there, perhaps you need to review where would be best for you right now. Perhaps an extended visit home, or somewhere outside of the surroundings that remind you so strongly of him, would be a good idea for a while, to clear your head and give you the space to think things through longer term.

 

Take care of yourself.

[OpenBook]

Get a grip on yourself, girlfriend. YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. STOP IT! Sit down, be still, take a deep breath. You need to take a giant step back from this RIGHT NOW. Calm down, compose yourself. The only way out of this is if you deal with this situation rationally, with a clear head.

 

Next step (after you've calmed down) - tell your lawyers about the phone call you made to him. And heed whatever advice they give you!

 

The next step after that - try to figure out what triggered you to call your lawyers, and then him. It's been 4 months since NC, and 3 months since court. What all of a sudden possessed you to stir up the whole thing again?? Why are you trying to draw blood from a stone (him)?

 

Believe it or not, it's NOT going to kill you if you don't get closure from him. You must recognize that you (as a person) are so much more than this. You are making a HUGE mistake putting your entire self-esteem into his hands, and letting him be the Judge Jury and Executioner of your self-worth. STOP IT!! RIGHT NOW!! Disconnect your psyche, your mind, your heart from him. Just step back from all of it. There's plenty of time for you to sort it all out later.

 

I know you can do this! I am rooting for you. Get a grip! NOW!

[thissecretgirl]

TSG, yes, you need your lawyer. But more than that, I think you need a counsellor. You are not in a good space if you are crying like that - and that's not something a lawyer can help with. Seeing a counsellor can also help should this land in the court again - s/he can testify to your emotional state at the time, and have the court take that into account. But you do need your lawyer to look into having the unfairness of the court decision challenged.

 

I know you've said previously that you like living in Oz, but given that you have no support systems there, perhaps you need to review where would be best for you right now. Perhaps an extended visit home, or somewhere outside of the surroundings that remind you so strongly of him, would be a good idea for a while, to clear your head and give you the space to think things through longer term.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

Thankyou OW. Yes I am waiting for a psychologist appointment. I received my referral letter the otherday. I am so financially broke that I have to wait for the free one, thats why its taking a little time. Maybe I will go back to my doctor tomorrow.

 

Going back is just not doable at the moment for a few reasons; money - I cant afford it. Work; I've had so much time off because of this I wouldlose my job too etc. My mum is coming out here for a month in February, I just have to get through to that point and once she is here we can talk about what I do.

[thissecretgirl]

Get a grip on yourself, girlfriend. YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. STOP IT! Sit down, be still, take a deep breath. You need to take a giant step back from this RIGHT NOW. Calm down, compose yourself. The only way out of this is if you deal with this situation rationally, with a clear head.

 

Next step (after you've calmed down) - tell your lawyers about the phone call you made to him. And heed whatever advice they give you!

 

The next step after that - try to figure out what triggered you to call your lawyers, and then him. It's been 4 months since NC, and 3 months since court. What all of a sudden possessed you to stir up the whole thing again?? Why are you trying to draw blood from a stone (him)?

 

Believe it or not, it's NOT going to kill you if you don't get closure from him. You must recognize that you (as a person) are so much more than this. You are making a HUGE mistake putting your entire self-esteem into his hands, and letting him be the Judge Jury and Executioner of your self-worth. STOP IT!! RIGHT NOW!! Disconnect your psyche, your mind, your heart from him. Just step back from all of it. There's plenty of time for you to sort it all out later.

 

I know you can do this! I am rooting for you. Get a grip! NOW!

 

Thanks for your post OB. You are right, I am out of control, I am seriously not coping.

I managed to calm down long enough to email my lawyer and tell her what I did so I am waiting on a reply. I know what triggered the call, its the main thing thats been hanging over my head for the last few months; Its the undertaking. I cant bear having it and all it implies.

You are right maybe not getting closure wont kill me, but what I am afraid will kill me is if I now find myself back in court.

I have played right into his hands. I have been so very stupid to trust someone like him.

 

Thankyou for your advice, its really useful and thanks for rooting for me. I could do with that right now

[seren]

I went back and read the link to your post, sounds like the MM did all he could to discredit you, save his backside and that included throwing you to the wolves. What a horrible, horrible man and he is supposed to be religous and an Elder!

 

I am so very sorry you are feeling as you do, sounds like there are a whole lot of different things going on at the moment, not least the whole debacle with the MM and court and such. A counsellor and support is obviously the first thing, sounds like you need a safe place to talk and get support.

 

It also sounds like there are a lot of things reaching boiling point at the moment. Can you break them down into more manageable chunks? as in there will be a solution to each of them, trying to sort it all out at once as one big problem will be almost impossible. Make a list of what is most pressing, prioritise them into the most pressing and then the one's that can be solved quickest and easiest. It will help to lighten your load.

 

I am so sorry you feel the way you do, there will be a way out and there will be a day when you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, truly there will. Get some support first, the rest will follow, eventually. For God's sake, do not engage with MM or his wife, it is unhealthy and not good for you, nor will you get support from that quarter.

 

Take very good care of yourself Seren xx

[OpenBook]

Thanks for your post OB. You are right, I am out of control, I am seriously not coping.

I managed to calm down long enough to email my lawyer and tell her what I did so I am waiting on a reply. I know what triggered the call, its the main thing thats been hanging over my head for the last few months; Its the undertaking. I cant bear having it and all it implies.

You are right maybe not getting closure wont kill me, but what I am afraid will kill me is if I now find myself back in court.

I have played right into his hands. I have been so very stupid to trust someone like him.

 

Thankyou for your advice, its really useful and thanks for rooting for me. I could do with that right now

 

No, it won't kill you to be back in court! Not as long as you have good lawyers behind you, and you keep them informed! That's what they're there for - to professionally represent you and protect and defend you.

 

And believe it or not, "this too shall pass" - one day this will all be behind you, and you won't be marveling at what a complete @sshat this guy is (and words are inadequate to describe the depths...) - but WHY THE H*LL YOU FELL FOR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Your picker's off!! Fortunately you are The Person In Charge of that - no one else.

 

You can't control what other people do. But you CAN control what YOU do about it. That's where you need to start honoring yourself. Start with clear, rational thought, and go from there. I know you can do it!!! :bunny:

[whichwayisup]

Just know that there won't be second slip - A call to him again..I think you realized doing so was a horrible mistake and in one sense I can understand that you have a slight hope that he really isn't the a-hole jerkoff he appears to be, but now you know 100 percent that he IS that a-hole jerkoff.. Always was and he fooled you. There is something wrong with him to do that to another human being.

 

Therapy will help you cope and start accepting things as they are. Once T starts you will become stronger and wiser, you'll see this guy isn't worth one more tear!

[ladydesigner]

Just know that there won't be second slip - A call to him again..I think you realized doing so was a horrible mistake and in one sense I can understand that you have a slight hope that he really isn't the a-hole jerkoff he appears to be, but now you know 100 percent that he IS that a-hole jerkoff.. Always was and he fooled you. There is something wrong with him to do that to another human being.

 

Therapy will help you cope and start accepting things as they are. Once T starts you will become stronger and wiser, you'll see this guy isn't worth one more tear!

 

This is the truth! You will realize this one day thissecretgirl. In the meantime sleep, eat, drink water, and keep yourself as busy as you can. Take lots of walks and exercise. Hell exercise him from your mind. You will come out of this okay. Start believing in yourself. It doesn't matter what they think of us. They are a**hats for doing this to another human being.

[Shadowburn]

Get yourself out of there. It's been a few months already, right? And see how bad you're doing, you're not moving on at all.

 

Go back home, g to people who love you and who care about you. Rebuild yourself and your self esteem. What this man did to you was truly horrible - but when enough time will pass, you'll realize how you enabled him to do all those things to you, and if you'd truly loved and respected yourself as you should've, you'd never found yourself in that terrible position. Plan B? Having a baby with a married man who'd refuse to leave his wife because it's oh-so-hard? And you seriously think that's the best you could do in life? Wake up, girl!

 

Forget the answers, you'll never get them from him. Forget him, he is not worth your heart, your love and your tears. Find your way back to happiness, to being a fabulous lady that you are. You've made a mistake - so what, you're human, we all make mistakes.

 

Love and peace to you, and I'll pray for you.

[fooled once]

I am really confused.

 

Why is there still legal action? Why are you worried that calling him will land you back in court? Do they have a restraining order? I am sorry, I didn't read the entire post you linked.

 

I do think you are out of control right now.

 

What support (friends) do you have around you?

[IzzyB]

Girlfriend, this man is a piece of crap and yes he betrayed you badly. That freaking hurts, however, the good news is, YOU WILL SURVIVE and you will feel better. It doesnt surprise me he is an elder in that church, it actually explains much of the behavior. I firmly believe that we bring people into our lives to learn the lessons that we need. I dont think they have to be that difficult or painful, necessarily, but sometimes we dont get it any other way. A betrayal by someone on the outside is somewhat of a reflection of an inner betrayal. ie, learn to love you and that you deserve to be loved fully and completely and you will bring in a beautiful partner who will treat you truly as you deserve.

Get through this one day at a time and in the meantime, is there any way your mum can move up her date to be with you? Is there any way you can take a trip back home? I know you are broke and it is expensive, however, it is extremely difficult to recover from such a hurtful situation without the support of those who love you.

Do not beat yourself up about calling him, just dont do it again. You were having trouble beleiving he could truly be so cold to you because you are a loving person who is incapable of doing that to someone else.

 

One more thing, for whatever its worth, I dont doubt that he loved you, I just think he is a coward and is not capable of acting on his words. I know that sometimes the most painful aspect of betrayal is when we doubt that the person we gave everything for really loved us. we wonder if that was all an act as well. Well it wasnt. Never doubt that, just know that he was never capable of following up on anything he said he would do. And that is not a reflection on you dearheart, that is a reflection of his own sh..

 

Hang in there. Get angry, get strong. Fight for YOURSELF. You're gonna get through this.

 

Hugs and many of them...

 

Izzy

[steelknife]

just leave and go back home. start anew and forget all your hurts in oz. you are in that place because of him. now he is gone. whats the point of staying?

 

just leave. i wish you strength. to be able to find the answers yourself. and to be able to move on. to be able to uproot yourself. he is not treating your right anymore. stop doing this to yourself. be strong.

[hoping2heal]

I'll start by saying I am an idiot and get it out of the way. I havent stopped crying for 7 hours and am in a pretty bad headspace so I thought best come here.

 

If you dont remember this is me http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t255509/

 

 

I have been feeling really ill by all this and have been off work again. Its the combination of no contact/no answers and the undertaking I agreed to that have pretty much seen me off and resulted in the post traumatic stress.

I am finding it so difficult to cope. I cant cope anymore

 

This morning I was trying desperately to get in contact with my lawyers to try and get some advice about how to lift the undertaking or cancel it as the effect of it on me has been terrible.

I left message after message overa few days and today it was engaged all morning. I dont know what the hell possessed me but I found myself thinking if I called him I could appeal to his sense of decency and compassion and that hopefully the four years would count for enough that he would listen.

I'm stupid. He answered, he probably didnt recognise my home number and all I managed to say is ''hello its me, please would" and he hung up.

 

I am devastated and scared. He obviously hates me now or has bought all his lies about me. I dont know why I didnt expect it after everything.I guess I kept thinking/hoping he would come through and do something decent.

I'm petrified that now if thats how he is feeling towards me I will find myself back in court.

This is a nightmare. I wish I could wake up. It's killing me, seriously.

 

I cant stop crying, just animalistic howls and sobs. I am so frightened.

 

I cant do court again. It will kill me.

 

I should have listened to everyone who ever told me that he is a cruel man.

 

I feel terrible that you are so far away from home and isolated. Is there anything at all you could do to get home to someone who can be some kind of support for you?

 

No one in an A wants to believe that they are one of the many who have fallen under the category of the "rule" e.g. having an affair with a selfish pig who just wants what he wants and when he wants and couldn't care less about who is harmed, not really. It's understandable that you didn't want to believe that was this man and that you were that woman.

 

Unfortunately, while there are exceptions -and some people have affairs because they are in bad M's and they don't know how to possibly get out (not that this excuses it) and end up in A's because people are human and sometimes we make bad choices - 9 times out of 10 that is not the case. It is often men who throw the OW under the bus from day 1- because they ask a woman to give them what they never will. It's selfish and disgusting and some women sadly end up stuck in it for years or decades. Telling themselves that their MM is a good man, that he is doing the right thing, that being an AP isn't really a bad thing.

 

Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm so sorry that you ended up in such an extreme case of mistreatment by your MM. I'm a firm believer that the same pig-ish and dishonest behavior they exhibit to their families in within the confines of an A is likely to be used in other areas of their life as well. This man was part of the church yet look at how he conducted himself? He was not a good man.

 

You can recover from this, hurtful and devestating as it was. I imagine your trust must be completely shattered right now - having seen the ugliness you have from someone you trusted implicitly. It's paradox really - when AP's give implicit trust, to men who already start off lying and cheating.

 

You've got to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made and let it go. Don't let this define the rest of your life. Cut ties from that situation and PLEASE find a way to go home. You need to heal and you deserve to heal, despite the poor choices you've made.

[SunsetRed]

I've been feeling very stuck too. I can't move on and I want closure and answers and I am disgusted that my NC hasn't brought him back to me.

 

I WANT to move on and have a good life. I just keep getting stuck.

 

I finally broke down and got on an anti-depressant. I chose Lexapro, because in addition to being an anti-depressant, it also helps with anxiety.

 

I hope I don't have to take it forever, but if it helps me get over this hump, move on and live my life, then it's worth taking it.

 

I'm also rereading the book The Secret and have purchased the sequel, The Power. The techniques in these books are going to help me attract more positive into my life, as obsessing over my xMM is only going to attract more negative.

 

We will get through this!

[Kismetly]

Hey Secretgirl

 

Sorry to hear you are going through this. You know you are stronger than you think you are. You have the capacity to bear this and work through it and come out the other end a changed, but stronger, more loving, more compassionate woman. You will, I promise.

 

I'll try to PM you to see where you are in Aus.

[Trimmer]

I am really confused.

 

Why is there still legal action? Why are you worried that calling him will land you back in court? Do they have a restraining order? I am sorry, I didn't read the entire post you linked.

Pertinent bits from the other thread:

The next morning it turns out that they go to court and file for a violence restraining order against me.....

 

To cut a very horrible story short, I agreed to sign an undertaking not to have any contact with them.

 

Thus, the inadvisability of her attempting contact with him.

 

OP, I believe that at this point, you need to look at that undertaking as protecting you as much as it protects him/them. You need to stay away, you need to stay out of contact, to have any chance of beginning the long process of healing. So respect that court order, stay away. Being in contact with him will damage you, and not only because of the undertaking, but because of your fragile emotional state.

 

Disconnect, stay clear, stay away... This won't solve anything by itself, but it is an absolutely necessary first step, to be sure you don't get sucked back into the drama whirlpool.

[dreamingoftigers]

Just for the record folks, Elder isn't a really high office. 19 year old become Elders. It's a nice title, but it doesn't mean he is a higher up, did you ever find out what his Calling was?

 

It basically means: guy who is old enough to have priesthood and got it. (Of course you can't be messing around and have the priesthood, in fact technically he would not have been able to sustain his office the second he started sinning with the OP).

[thissecretgirl]

I went back and read the link to your post, sounds like the MM did all he could to discredit you, save his backside and that included throwing you to the wolves. What a horrible, horrible man and he is supposed to be religous and an Elder!

 

I am so very sorry you are feeling as you do, sounds like there are a whole lot of different things going on at the moment, not least the whole debacle with the MM and court and such. A counsellor and support is obviously the first thing, sounds like you need a safe place to talk and get support.

 

It also sounds like there are a lot of things reaching boiling point at the moment. Can you break them down into more manageable chunks? as in there will be a solution to each of them, trying to sort it all out at once as one big problem will be almost impossible. Make a list of what is most pressing, prioritise them into the most pressing and then the one's that can be solved quickest and easiest. It will help to lighten your load.

 

I am so sorry you feel the way you do, there will be a way out and there will be a day when you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, truly there will. Get some support first, the rest will follow, eventually. For God's sake, do not engage with MM or his wife, it is unhealthy and not good for you, nor will you get support from that quarter.

 

Take very good care of yourself Seren xx

 

 

Thanksso much Seren, You give exactly the same advice that I give others when I am able to stand back and be objective and not in the middle of panic as i have been! yes exactly bite sized chunks...such good advice.

 

I emailed my lawyer straight away and spoke with her today. She has been great.

 

I wont be in contact again. Thanks for your words of advice xx

[thissecretgirl]

No, it won't kill you to be back in court! Not as long as you have good lawyers behind you, and you keep them informed! That's what they're there for - to professionally represent you and protect and defend you.

 

And believe it or not, "this too shall pass" - one day this will all be behind you, and you won't be marveling at what a complete @sshat this guy is (and words are inadequate to describe the depths...) - but WHY THE H*LL YOU FELL FOR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Your picker's off!! Fortunately you are The Person In Charge of that - no one else.

 

You can't control what other people do. But you CAN control what YOU do about it. That's where you need to start honoring yourself. Start with clear, rational thought, and go from there. I know you can do it!!! :bunny:

 

 

Your post made me smile openbook...thanks!

 

You are right, I can do it and my picker ismost definitely off

[thissecretgirl]

Just know that there won't be second slip - A call to him again..I think you realized doing so was a horrible mistake and in one sense I can understand that you have a slight hope that he really isn't the a-hole jerkoff he appears to be, but now you know 100 percent that he IS that a-hole jerkoff.. Always was and he fooled you. There is something wrong with him to do that to another human being.

 

Therapy will help you cope and start accepting things as they are. Once T starts you will become stronger and wiser, you'll see this guy isn't worth one more tear!

 

You once again hit the nail on the head wwiu. I hoped for better and what I got was exactly what he is.

 

I believe its done me a favour.

 

I am working on getting strong now and moving on. Thankyou

[thissecretgirl]

This is the truth! You will realize this one day thissecretgirl. In the meantime sleep, eat, drink water, and keep yourself as busy as you can. Take lots of walks and exercise. Hell exercise him from your mind. You will come out of this okay. Start believing in yourself. It doesn't matter what they think of us. They are a**hats for doing this to another human being.

 

You are so right ld.

 

I have really struggled with the fact they he could do this to me after what we shared, but he did and I need to accept that he did.

 

yes he is a complete asshat.

 

From now on I am going to believe in myself and recover from this.

 

I received an emailfrom an ex partner of mine about all this. It said two words........aim higher.

[thissecretgirl]

And you seriously think that's the best you could do in life? Wake up, girl!

 

Forget the answers, you'll never get them from him. Forget him, he is not worth your heart, your love and your tears. Find your way back to happiness, to being a fabulous lady that you are. You've made a mistake - so what, you're human, we all make mistakes.

 

Love and peace to you, and I'll pray for you.

 

Again, such good advice.

 

Seriously I think the fog has finally lifted and I think it took him hanging up and the last few days for me to see him in all his 'glory'.

 

Thanks for the prayers though I could still do with those and any positive vibes.

 

I believe I am worth more and I want more

[thissecretgirl]

Girlfriend, this man is a piece of crap and yes he betrayed you badly. That freaking hurts, however, the good news is, YOU WILL SURVIVE and you will feel better. It doesnt surprise me he is an elder in that church, it actually explains much of the behavior. I firmly believe that we bring people into our lives to learn the lessons that we need. I dont think they have to be that difficult or painful, necessarily, but sometimes we dont get it any other way. A betrayal by someone on the outside is somewhat of a reflection of an inner betrayal. ie, learn to love you and that you deserve to be loved fully and completely and you will bring in a beautiful partner who will treat you truly as you deserve.

Get through this one day at a time and in the meantime, is there any way your mum can move up her date to be with you? Is there any way you can take a trip back home? I know you are broke and it is expensive, however, it is extremely difficult to recover from such a hurtful situation without the support of those who love you.

Do not beat yourself up about calling him, just dont do it again. You were having trouble beleiving he could truly be so cold to you because you are a loving person who is incapable of doing that to someone else.

 

One more thing, for whatever its worth, I dont doubt that he loved you, I just think he is a coward and is not capable of acting on his words. I know that sometimes the most painful aspect of betrayal is when we doubt that the person we gave everything for really loved us. we wonder if that was all an act as well. Well it wasnt. Never doubt that, just know that he was never capable of following up on anything he said he would do. And that is not a reflection on you dearheart, that is a reflection of his own sh..

 

Hang in there. Get angry, get strong. Fight for YOURSELF. You're gonna get through this.

 

Hugs and many of them...

 

Izzy

 

Izzy what can I say...thankyou so so much for this.

 

I know how much he loved me...it just seems stupid to voice that when he has done such disgusting things to me. But you are correct, he did them because for as much as he loved me, he is a coward and he loved himself more. There is so much more to say, but on a forum like this its limited in what you can get across...so thankyou for reaffirming that. It does actually help my mindset enormously.

 

I think you are also right about it happening for a reason and the lessons to be learnt and boy have I learnt. I'm still learning.

 

I feel like you really get me and the situation. Thankyou for that *hugs*

 

And I am gonna get through this!

[BB07]

What about you though? You KNOWINGLY slept with someone's husband who has a wife, family, and children at home.

 

If you took the time to read this thread you would find that here is a woman who is all but been destroyed by this affair and if you had taken the time to read it, you would find that this poster seems to be very fragile right now. So.............I find your attempt to beat her over the head with a truth she already knows pointless and it certainly shows your lack of compassion for her circumstances right now. To try to smack someone over the head when they are already at their lowest point doesn't speak too kindly of you, but yes we get it..........you don't care or else you wouldn't have posted to start with. You seem to thrive on picking on people who are at their lowest point........so I suppose you get your jollies doing that. Perhaps you have some issues of your own. :D