GeorgiaSongbird Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 I've noticed porn takes up alot of space here. Mostly women who are unhappy with its presence in their relationships. But I don't have any problem with it... I'm not talking about the issue of one person hating it and their partner not respecting that.. or hiding it... those are completely separate issues.. But, I like porn, I like toys.. we have a nice collection. When my sweetie wants to go out to a strip club with his friends, I only as that he make sure there is a sober driver and he respect a spending limit, depending on the state of the budget. He surfs the web and download things here and there.. he shares what he thinks I would especially find interesting. My friends think I'm nuts and H has too much freedom (WTF is that? Am I a warden or something?). Naturally, I have limits to what I would find acceptable and we've had a few bumps along the way finding those boundaries.. but something I think I'm the only woman in the world who doesn't find porn offensive.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 No, you're not the only woman in the world who doesn't find porn offensive. Many have posted on this forum that they have no objections and most have, like you, stated that they do have boundaries in that department. A porn addiction can become very destructive to a relationship. If someone has covered up their affinity to enjoying porn prior to a relationship the revelation can be quite unsettling to the other. If people are forthright and honest about it from the beginning, the other person has the ability to make a decision to go forward with the relationship or move on. It's my opinion that dishonesty and covering up of a person's obsession with porn is more objectionable to most than the porn itself. It's very shocking for a a lady who thinks she's with a certain sort of guy to one day go into his computer files and find gigs of naked women she had no idea existed...or find subscriptions to porn sites that are still active. It's even more traumatic for a lady to walk in on a guy who's masturbating to same in front of his computer. I very much appreciate your post above but the problem is far more complex than just liking or disliking porn. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 I don't think that porn is bad, unless you're a guy and is watching it with a bunch of horny soldiers. I like porn, when I'm watching with a woman and we are about to get nasty in the bedroom! It can be considered as a sort of foreplay. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author GeorgiaSongbird Posted March 14, 2004 Author Share Posted March 14, 2004 Originally posted by Vivid_29 I don't think that porn is bad, unless you're a guy and is watching it with a bunch of horny soldiers. Vivid... ewww.. I didn't need that visual... LOL Tony.. like I said in my first post.. I'm not talking about people how cover up or are dishonest about their use porn.. I really consider that a separate issue - an honesty issue. And I haven't not really been around the boards that long, so I've hadn't seen any other post about women who willing admit to not having a problem w/this in the relationship. Certainly none of my girlfriends in real life do.. Of course that may have something to do with the fact I live in the bible belt. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 There are lots of ladies who don't. It just gets real old debating the issue over and over again. Dishonesty aside - and I do agree that both partners need to be honest about this issue before marrying - it seems that many women object to porn because they honestly believe that the men imagine themselves making love to the women in the pictures and prefer that image to the one of making love with their wives. I posed that question here and the replies were, as I expected, that people (myself included) look at it for the image of the act, which they then imagine themselves engaging in with someone they care about, or in order to imagine themselves having the sensations (in my and many cases) without imagining anyone in particular creating the sensations. Some women consider porn to be morally wrong, and that is their objection, but it seems, at least according to LS posters who object, that the true concern is that the men are engaging in 'cheating in the mind' with the women in the images. It also seems that men who try to assure their spouses that there is no form of 'cheating' going on are unlikely to succeed since they won't be believed. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Originally posted by Vivid_29 I like porn, when I'm watching with a woman and we are about to get nasty in the bedroom! It can be considered as a sort of foreplay. ~V Vivid, my view on the matter exactly...except change the words 'a woman' to 'my man' and I'm happy Link to post Share on other sites
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