Question for the OWs

[JustAFlyOnTheWall]

Hello ;-)

 

I have a question for those that have been "the other woman" I hope you don't mind replying and letting me in on some insight.

 

Have you, as the OW, either "stalked" or felt the need to "stalk" your MM's Wife?

 

I get the wife wanting to check out the OW and "stalk" her...you know, "competition" and all. But if you're an OW and are on NC with your MM, what's your goal, purpose, or point in "stalking" the betrayed wife?

 

Thanks for your insight!

[bentnotbroken]

Hello ;-)

 

I have a question for those that have been "the other woman" I hope you don't mind replying and letting me in on some insight.

 

Have you, as the OW, either "stalked" or felt the need to "stalk" your MM's Wife?

 

I get the wife wanting to check out the OW and "stalk" her...you know, "competition" and all. But if you're an OW and are on NC with your MM, what's your goal, purpose, or point in "stalking" the betrayed wife?

 

Thanks for your insight!

 

 

Why would a BS want to "stalk" the OW. Some of us know who she is and there is never any going to be any competition.

[JustAFlyOnTheWall]

Yea, I guess I worded it wrong.

 

For those BS who dont know the OW personally...I understand the curiosity. Some ppl on my other forum said they check OWs facebook, blogs, etc (that's not legally stalking, but it's along those lines..hence my referring to it as "stalking"). I get that.

 

I am really looking from the perspective of the OW....*IF* you have done those above things to the MMs wife, WHY? I am trying to figure out what's going through her head.

[KarmasTestDummy]

Yea, I guess I worded it wrong.

 

For those BS who dont know the OW personally...I understand the curiosity. Some ppl on my other forum said they check OWs facebook, blogs, etc (that's not legally stalking, but it's along those lines..hence my referring to it as "stalking"). I get that.

 

I am really looking from the perspective of the OW....*IF* you have done those above things to the MMs wife, WHY? I am trying to figure out what's going through her head.

 

I have certainly checked her Facebook. She keeps it public. Initially I was trying to validate if what he said about her seemed to coincide with the person she is in public, and secondly I was trying to see if he frequently commented on her posts, if they had lovey dovey pics, etc. I didn't want to take his word that they all but hate eachother at face value. More than anything I was surprised that the only comments they ever made to eachother were hateful and sarcastic and he's not in a single picture on her page. I also happen to know she checks mine frequently too since she became suspicious as she has made comments to him about my profile picture.

[fooled once]

Hello ;-)

 

I have a question for those that have been "the other woman" I hope you don't mind replying and letting me in on some insight.

 

Have you, as the OW, either "stalked" or felt the need to "stalk" your MM's Wife?

 

I get the wife wanting to check out the OW and "stalk" her...you know, "competition" and all. But if you're an OW and are on NC with your MM, what's your goal, purpose, or point in "stalking" the betrayed wife?

 

Thanks for your insight!

 

No. Never did.

 

I can't image sinking that low.

[BB07]

OP.........the way you choose your words seems a little odd.

 

Are you sure you aren't an OW masquerading as a BS?

[bentnotbroken]

Wasn't there an OW who would log into the email account of one of the family members of MM(or maybe it was MM's email, I don't recall) to read what they were saying. Now that was sick

[BB07]

I don't have a single pic of my SO on my page. And I am madly in love, crazy about him. Hell, we're still listed as single. I also know another couple who are madly in love with each other but you would never know it by the venom dripping comments they leave on each others' walls. That's how they roll.

But how do you know she checks yours other than the comment she made? I have been wondering recently if there is a way to see who is looking at your profile. In another thread it says there is not, but maybe I am not privy to something...

 

 

There is not any way to know and be wary of those fake apps they say that you can. They are malware.

 

Here is some info from F/B regarding such.

http://www.facebook.com/help/?search=how+do+i+know+who+checked+my+pr

[KarmasTestDummy]

I don't have a single pic of my SO on my page. And I am madly in love, crazy about him. Hell, we're still listed as single. I also know another couple who are madly in love with each other but you would never know it by the venom dripping comments they leave on each others' walls. That's how they roll.

But how do you know she checks yours other than the comment she made? I have been wondering recently if there is a way to see who is looking at your profile. In another thread it says there is not, but maybe I am not privy to something...

 

Yes but the madly in love aren't typically having affairs either, so there's no OW to be none the wiser.

[BB07]

Wasn't there an OW who would log into the email account of one of the family members of MM(or maybe it was MM's email, I don't recall) to read what they were saying. Now that was sick

 

 

If we are thinking of the same one, she had mm password to his f/b and would log in as him. Come to think of it, we haven't heard from her for months. I hope she did not get sucked back into that. That man was very, very bad news.

[Heather1]

I've only seen her FB photo profile. After freaking out that we looked so much alike, I was done with cyber stalking!!

 

Out of sight, out of mind.

[KarmasTestDummy]

If we are thinking of the same one, she had mm password to his f/b and would log in as him. Come to think of it, we haven't heard from her for months. I hope she did not get sucked back into that. That man was very, very bad news.

 

I have seen a couple on here demand full access to his stuff...texts, phone records, email, credit card statements just so she can trust him...that's beyond me. Lacking trust is a pretty bad way to start a new R.

[JustAFlyOnTheWall]

OP.........the way you choose your words seems a little odd.

 

Are you sure you aren't an OW masquerading as a BS?

 

Yea, I'm sure...unfortunately.

I get the "dud" she had all the fun.

 

I only assume my fb was attempted to be viewed. I have it pretty "private". But I do know she checks another one of my websites with great regularity. Tracking.

 

H even told her that I knew she was doing it before NC and she keeps doing it. We're talking...A LOT. 3-4 times/day.

 

I appreciate everyone's insight.

[bentnotbroken]

I have seen a couple on here demand full access to his stuff...texts, phone records, email, credit card statements just so she can trust him...that's beyond me. Lacking trust is a pretty bad way to start a new R.

 

 

Naw, starting one with someone MM is worse.

[JustAFlyOnTheWall]

I have seen a couple on here demand full access to his stuff...texts, phone records, email, credit card statements just so she can trust him...that's beyond me. Lacking trust is a pretty bad way to start a new R.

 

You've seen OWs demand that stuff?

 

There seems to be a biiiiig difference between a married OW and a non married OW......

[bentnotbroken]

you've seen ows demand that stuff?

 

There seems to be a biiiiig difference between a married ow and a non married ow......

 

 

huh???????????????

[whichwayisup]

You've seen OWs demand that stuff?

 

There seems to be a biiiiig difference between a married OW and a non married OW......

 

Do you mean after a DDay and the betrayed spouse has access to the cheating spouses email pw, cell records etc? Or do you mean an OW or married woman, checking up on her MM's account, email etc?

[Sidtheskid]

Hello ;-)

 

I have a question for those that have been "the other woman" I hope you don't mind replying and letting me in on some insight.

 

Have you, as the OW, either "stalked" or felt the need to "stalk" your MM's Wife?

 

I get the wife wanting to check out the OW and "stalk" her...you know, "competition" and all. But if you're an OW and are on NC with your MM, what's your goal, purpose, or point in "stalking" the betrayed wife?

 

Thanks for your insight!

 

 

Yes, I wanted to know what she looks like. That's it. Call it curious? No stalking, but googled facebook n I guess that makes me a stalker.

 

My purpose was to have image of her. I was curious is all.

[Heather1]

There is a difference I'm sure. I'm a MOW so I wouldn't think of more than seeing what she looked like.

 

If she's creeping your H out by doing this, he's going to dump her(sounds like he already has?). Unless he likes that kind of thing it's a HUGE turn off to most guys. It scares anyone & really makes them evaluate the position he's in.

So she's turning him off, the question is more do you still want him? Honestly, this might scare him out of ever doing this again. I do believe men try this, realize their error & don't do it again.

[JustAFlyOnTheWall]

There is a difference I'm sure. I'm a MOW so I wouldn't think of more than seeing what she looked like.

 

If she's creeping your H out by doing this, he's going to dump her(sounds like he already has?). Unless he likes that kind of thing it's a HUGE turn off to most guys. It scares anyone & really makes them evaluate the position he's in.

So she's turning him off, the question is more do you still want him? Honestly, this might scare him out of ever doing this again. I do believe men try this, realize their error & don't do it again.

 

Yea they are on 4 weeks of NC. Supposedly. After this experience I don't believe jack.

Do I want him...ahh...the grand question. I really have no idea. Especially since he brought this level of crazy into our lives. The level of escalation in her "checking" is worriesome to me. H knows.

[blizzard]

No I never wanted to stalk her. He said they were divorcing so I never felt that tinge of jealousy or curiousity.

[Heather1]

I'm sure he feels terrible too. I can tell you that once your in, it's really bared to get out. I go back & forth with NC & it's like withdrawl from an addiction. Can you take down or block your sites?

 

Are you in a position to do NC so you can decide. It'd hit him like a baseball bat if he lost you I bet.

[JustAFlyOnTheWall]

I'm sure he feels terrible too. I can tell you that once your in, it's really bared to get out. I go back & forth with NC & it's like withdrawl from an addiction. Can you take down or block your sites?

 

Are you in a position to do NC so you can decide. It'd hit him like a baseball bat if he lost you I bet.

 

But why should I have to? I am the only one who didn't "screw up".

Yes, I accept responsibility in the demise of our relationship, but I am not the one who stepped outside marriage (OW was married too), so why do I need to take 10 steps backwards in my professional life because she can't control her curiosity.

 

I am wondering what she's looking for......

 

I really do get how hard NC is. The whole "thrill" of a "fresh" relationship emits chemicals in your brain....and besides when you make something a no touch! object it really only makes you want to touch it even MORE! I am attempting to be more sensitive to H about the fact that it is a break up and it is a loss and I do get that. I hate it, but I do get it.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I don't consider checking fb or googling to see a photo stalking at all. If someone has an open fb page then one would assume that they want to be found.

 

The OW in my case toward the end of their R would show up weekly and sit right behind or beside the table of girls I met each week for dinner and drinks. I knew of her but didn't know she was OW till way after D day. I never saw her after her identity was revealed, I told my H to make certain that I didn't that it would not be a happy ending for any of us. From what I understand she would throw a fit when say he bought me a new car,ect...

 

There are a few BS on here with crazy stories of stalker OW as well as a few who no longer post here.

[spice4life]

,Never had a desire to stalk his BS at all. I always figured what's the point? There was a time when I wondered if he was truly separated or not but that was it. I found out he wasn't and didn't want to see or know anything beyond that. I, on the other hand was stalked.