Sometimes something happens that makes you glad that you left them..

[whatswrong23]

I am so glad that I never gave my husband a second chance! This idiot pays me 658.00 a month in child support to me ( and we are not divorced yet), so he was trying to get back with me and I decided that it wasn't going to work...so now I find out that he got the town tramp pregnant (I don't live in the same town anymore), and he is going to owe her 343.00 a month in child support....thats over a 1000 dollars a month in child support alone! Thank God I ran when I did! Sometimes people know when to hold and when to fold!

[NEONINK]

He's not a genius, is he? Poor guy. Makes you almost feel sorry for him.

 

At least you can feel closure and a feeling of satisfaction with the outcome.

[whatswrong23]

yes, he is not very bright at all. But my motto is what goes around comes around and look how quickly things can come around full circle. I always say God works in mysterious ways.

[BadMan]

Wow! Now your kid's going to grow up without a whole family.

Who's the winner again?

[whatswrong23]

sorry, but when you soon to be ex is a wife beater, drug dealer, (since I left) and a cheat and the girl never graduated from high school, is known as a drama queen, use to date your little brother, flips burgers at mcdonalds, and she is lives in the projects, on welfare, and your ex already told you that she did it on purpose she got tired of him trying to dump her for me....I think my kids are the big winners. Anything to keep them away from crap like that. The most drama my kids have in their lives now is what toy they should get from wal-mart or what park do they want to go to.

[NEONINK]

Amen Sister!

 

Sometimes thoughts are our prisons. And other times living conditions are our prisons.

 

Pay attention to your kids, they are the most important friends in life you will ever have. Have fun!

[saintfrancis]

whatswrong,

 

Not that you know me or anything, but I totally support you! BadMan is either looking for a fight for the hell of it, or really is as ignorant as he sounds. There's a lot of controversy around wether kids are better off in an "intact" - yet horrendous - home, or in a "broken" - yet peaceful and loving - home. Sounds like a no-brainer to me, but hey what do I know! Sounds like you are going in the right direction, for yourself and your children. CHILDREN do not need to be around the chaotic mess of your ex in order to grow up happy (oh yeah, they'll really win watching their father deal drugs and sleeping around, uh huh). In fact, if they ever find out what he is truly like, they will probably thank you one day.

 

IMO.

 

sf

[BadMan]

My point is it's a stupid thing to celebrate. There are no "winners".

[saintfrancis]

Ok. I'm sorry if I read too much into what you mean, BadMan. Apologies for the ignorant comment too. I can point to examples in my own family, whom I grew up with, of parents who SHOULD have gotten divorced long ago, but didn't, and their kids grew up in a horrible situation. Now that the kids are adults, one has managed to have a decent life but the other has grown up to be a complete ass with his own world of self-inflicted problems. But, my biggest concern is that when we were all little, we spent a lot of time together as kids, and one of those kids took his anger and rage out on ME -- an innocent bystander to all the sh** that went down in that home. And now, well let's just say I believe I would have been a lot happier person in the past had *I* not suffered because of the abuse that went on in THEIR family.

 

So, the "winners" in my own situation would have been their kids, who wouldn't have been subjected to the abuse they endured in their own home, and ME, who likely wouldn't have been treated the way I was by this one person, and my parents, who had to suffer the fallout of what happened to me. And I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

 

People forget that abusive households rarely touch only the people within the walls of their own home. Abused children often go on to perpetrate their own abuse on others. If these situations can be avoided before they even start, then I have to say, I believe there WILL be winners.

[whatswrong23]

and I agree with you 100 percent! wow, I should be sad because now my kids have a happy home? NO. I have to worry about myself and my children because I AM THEIR MOTHER AND ALL THEY HAVE. Someone once told me, kids don't care what daddy doesn't do, all they know is that there is no food on the table and no lights in the house. And basically what that means is if he won't do it, you better do it or else. I am not worried about that girl and her child because that is her business. I feel sorry for that child, though. Its going to take alot of strength in that child to become something good out of an enviroment like that. By the grace of God, I am strong enough to take care of my children through all this mess and I didn't know what kind of situation I was getting into when I married him. But she knew because she knew the both of us. So its not like she didn't already know what he was about. So my children ARE THE WINNERS. You can't pick your parents but you can pray to God that you have a mother or father that is strong enough to take care of you well no matter what.

[whatswrong23]

I think that alot of abusive parents are impulsive and selfish. My ex is and so is that girl. And that is why I don't think that they care about whether or not what they are doing is affecting their children just as long as they can live however they want. And that, is very sad.