cj2 Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Ok so a week or so ago I posted in the breaking up forum about how me and my ex came to split up. Basically I found out that she had been texting/emailing an ex boyfriend and they had been telling each other their favourite 'sexual fantasies' (in her own words). She maintained that she didn't think there was anything wrong with it as it never got personal. Am just interested to find out how other people would have taken this? It was her that split up with me in the end by the way, I said I wanted to work it out but she said she was feeling trapped and not ready for committment.. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Ok so a week or so ago I posted in the breaking up forum about how me and my ex came to split up. Basically I found out that she had been texting/emailing an ex boyfriend and they had been telling each other their favourite 'sexual fantasies' (in her own words). She maintained that she didn't think there was anything wrong with it as it never got personal. Am just interested to find out how other people would have taken this? It was her that split up with me in the end by the way, I said I wanted to work it out but she said she was feeling trapped and not ready for committment.. I would consider it cheating. E-mailing your ex and talking about your favorite sexual fantasies? It wouldn't matter what label I put on it, I would consider it highly inappropriate and if the the response to it would have been the same as hers? That there was nothing wrong with it? I would have ended the relationship. If a guy I am dating didn't know that is inappropriate I am not going to run the risk of getting my heart pulvarised by some hurtful act simply because the person I'm dating is an idiot. I suppose the next would be that she gives him a handjob but it's no big deal cause hey, it's not personal. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Ok so a week or so ago I posted in the breaking up forum about how me and my ex came to split up. Basically I found out that she had been texting/emailing an ex boyfriend and they had been telling each other their favourite 'sexual fantasies' (in her own words). She maintained that she didn't think there was anything wrong with it as it never got personal. Am just interested to find out how other people would have taken this? It was her that split up with me in the end by the way, I said I wanted to work it out but she said she was feeling trapped and not ready for committment.. C'mon, really? Of course it's cheating. And the real reason why her selfish azz left you was because she's selfish, greedy, and didn't want to deal with the guilt of having hurting you so bad. You damn right she's not ready for committment and never will be with that behavior. Hope you find a real woman that will never treat you this way. You didn't deserve that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cj2 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Share Posted December 16, 2010 Thanks for the replies! I haven't been able to discuss this with anyone else yet, due to a lot of shared friends, plus its not really the sort of thing you mull over with family. She said she had decided she felt cheated upon if I looked at porn (which until a month or so previously she had always said she had been fine with, in fact we watched it together quite often) and only did it to get some attention. Personally I felt like it crossed a line, even more so as it was with an ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Even if you don't call it cheating it's most definitely a wake up call she's not ready and if you don't do something now you'll end up a hurting bunny. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Thanks for the replies! I haven't been able to discuss this with anyone else yet, due to a lot of shared friends, plus its not really the sort of thing you mull over with family. She said she had decided she felt cheated upon if I looked at porn (which until a month or so previously she had always said she had been fine with, in fact we watched it together quite often) and only did it to get some attention. Personally I felt like it crossed a line, even more so as it was with an ex. Did she let you know when she "decided" how she felt or did that come later? Even so, you don't go cheating because you suddenly decide you have a problem and that's how you deal with it. She sounds really young and immature yet. She was right that she is not ready for a commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cj2 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Share Posted December 16, 2010 Did she let you know when she "decided" how she felt or did that come later? Even so, you don't go cheating because you suddenly decide you have a problem and that's how you deal with it. She sounds really young and immature yet. She was right that she is not ready for a commitment. I would say it became evident over a few weeks or so, to the point where she admitted she had an issue with it and said she didn't mind me watching it within reason, although not defining what was within reason. After another few weeks she laid down the ground rules and said I could only watch it/masturbate if she was both out for the day and if she was on her period. I stuck by the rules at that point and didn't go near it for the next month. However the stuff with her ex went on before those rules were laid down.. Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Did she let you know when she "decided" how she felt or did that come later? Even so, you don't go cheating because you suddenly decide you have a problem and that's how you deal with it. She sounds really young and immature yet. She was right that she is not ready for a commitment. Exactly. If she was hurt by it down the road, she should've said something. Opened her mouth. That doesn't justify her actions. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 I would say it became evident over a few weeks or so, to the point where she admitted she had an issue with it and said she didn't mind me watching it within reason, although not defining what was within reason. After another few weeks she laid down the ground rules and said I could only watch it/masturbate if she was both out for the day and if she was on her period. I stuck by the rules at that point and didn't go near it for the next month. However the stuff with her ex went on before those rules were laid down.. Oh sorry it took me some time to respond. I was a bit busy writing out this weeks penis schedule for Mr.hoping2heal No, but seriously..telling you when you can masturbate? Really? That chick is bad news and controlling! I can understand that some people have issues with the whole porn thing, but telling you when you can and can't masturbate? That's just wrong. Gee, was she getting paranoid on account of all the shady things she was doing??! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cj2 Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 Oh sorry it took me some time to respond. I was a bit busy writing out this weeks penis schedule for Mr.hoping2heal No, but seriously..telling you when you can masturbate? Really? That chick is bad news and controlling! I can understand that some people have issues with the whole porn thing, but telling you when you can and can't masturbate? That's just wrong. Gee, was she getting paranoid on account of all the shady things she was doing??! Looking back on it I think she was just insecure. Before me she had been in a lot of relationships, but never anything longer than a year and I don't think she is confident enough in herself to face being single. I should have taken that as a bit of a warning sign, but love is blind as they say. I just found it quite strange, as she was pretty (make that very) open minded sexually and to be fair, its not like the masturbation thing ever hindered our sex life.. it was on tap literally whenever she wanted! Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Ok so a week or so ago I posted in the breaking up forum about how me and my ex came to split up. Basically I found out that she had been texting/emailing an ex boyfriend and they had been telling each other their favourite 'sexual fantasies' (in her own words). She maintained that she didn't think there was anything wrong with it as it never got personal. Am just interested to find out how other people would have taken this? Of course it was cheating ! She fantasizes about screwing with another guy, take it as it is, don't listen to her "nothing personal" bull***. If she really loved you she wouldn't have been at this point. It was her that split up with me in the end by the way, I said I wanted to work it out but she said she was feeling trapped and not ready for committment..Of course she dumped you because she had zero respect and real love for you. Her "feeling trapped and not ready for commitment" are plain excuses, dont even rationalize about that. Being faithful is not being trapped ! She must be immature and needy. I bet my money, as soon as she finds a guy who will treat her like crap she will be sooo ready for commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
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