Dexter Morgan Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Ahh, spare me the excuses lady. Cheating is heartlessness and if the relationship was so good, there should've never been no reason for the cheater to cheat. . well, there are good relationships where a cheater cheats simply because they have lousy character and just like the variety of screwing a new face and body. some people just cheat because they like it. Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Settling is not something I would recognise in my personality, I don't think I have ever settled for anything that wasn't in the best interests of me and mine. So, I cannot agree that, IME, that I have settled for choosing to stay with my husband, to live with the man that I love, having taken time to look at what the options were. Informed choice, with nothing to stop me leaving , other than the love I felt and feel for my husband and the years of living with and knowing the man that he was and is. There were circumstances in my husband's life and psyche at the time of the A, that I have come to understand - I do not excuse his behaviour, either toward me, our marriage or even the A. The 'blaming' of both in a marriage is possibly the wrong word, again, IME I accept my contribution to our breakdnown in communication, I accept that I had began distancing myself from the man my H had become - for that I take full blame. Not for the road he took to deal with his problems, but I understand why. I am sure some cheat because they have a lousy character, some for sex, some for comanionship and some for love, and some just because they can. I do not recognise my H in any of these. His time in Iraq, the loss of his friends, the sheer bloody awfulness of what he saw and went through and his feeling to blame, all played a part, as did my success in my job, my letting my professional life become more important than my personal life ... so many different things. But, yes our marriage is better, despite the A, because we have learned to prioritise us and our relationship. I would not be anywhere else, because I choose to be Link to post Share on other sites
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