My thinner a** is not for you.

[dreamingoftigers]

I just wanted to say to some of those judgmental types that have spent the last 15 years of my life making it worse by shaming me and others like me for having a weight problem that I have decided to lose the weight and will not stop until I do.

 

I also wanted to say that I unfortunately gave you pricks too much control over how I felt about myself. You can all eat me, that's right, you can eat me. Take the pounds off of me right from the source. Sound gross? Well you disgust me too. Letting people who have an issue know that they don't measure up, and that they are just lazy and useless and smell (I don't ****ing smell, wtf? It's called showering and deodorant. The smell of sour cream doesn't have a half life that permeates around a room!)

 

Another one recently: fat girls breasts are misshapen, WTF? I may just be damn lucky but I have some nice, voluptuous breasts that have barely dropped at all since my teens. Very nice, natural and round (teardropish). No weird stretching, no odd nipple directions. Maybe some overweight women have misshaped breasts if they gain weight later in life. I had my weight on all through my developing years. As if women need to be attacked on a sexual level deeper then the day to day bull**** they have to deal with.

 

**** I cannot stand you people, you self-righteous little cunts who would approach me anywhere in public and feel the need to give me weight loss advice or you little ****ers who would be so goddamn ignorant to me if you had a bad day and gave yourself an accidental wedgie.

 

Like the loser who walked by me in Brandon, MB and just out of the blue told me that I took up the whole sidewalk. Like the cab driver who let me know that women in his country weren't so fat at such a young age. To the little jerks on the train who gave me weight-loss pamphlets (they weren't trying to help, believe me). To those little bitches at work who used to laugh about it and every time someone compared me to someone else who had a weight problem "well she's even worse then you" Or for the jobs I didn't get that were because of the judgment made about my body size. Or the teacher who singled me out in front of the class when talking about health and nutrition. That person would have lost their job if they were pointing out someone of a different race, religion or orientation.

 

In fact, I can see right off of the bat whether someone has fattitude. You try to keep things in check, but you can tell when someone is trying to hone in their disgust because I look different.

I was a human being first, and someone with a sugar addiction second. If half of you went through the **** that I did, you bet you would have had some kind of unhealthy coping method by now (whether it be booze, drugs, sugar or by being a control freak). Who the hell did you think you were all of these years? Some of you up here talk about refusing health services to obese people. Guess what? My ****ing taxes pay your healthcare too! You may not be fat, but you probably drink, I don't. Maybe you speed in your car, I don't. Maybe you smoke, I don't do that either. Why should I have to pay for your healthcare? We are all in this together, either we are all in or all out. What makes my life less valuable then yours, where is the treatment for my disease? Prevention did not exist in my house growing up.

 

You obviously weren't very bright because you didn't realize that I and people like me had any feelings or just as much right to be here as you. I didn't chow down on doughnuts, chips and cheeseburgers (I do not like any of the above.)

 

I put in twice the work (easily) that my husband has into losing weight and it just falls off of him (he is almost at a normal weight). It does not fall off of me. I also have low thyroid and a host of metabolic issues (which came first metabolic issues or weight gain, it has been so long I will never know).

 

Anyways the past is just that... the past. I know who I am, I am not lazy and sitting aroung watching tv night after night (don't watch tv in fact). The couch is not my special spot. Doritos is not my favorite food group. I am someone who has eaten too much habitually for most of my life. A lot of it has been junk carbs but there is also too much fat. I have stopped and started a lot before, but after 2 months I know that I am not stopping.

 

And I am not giving up. Not because of you little pricks, yes even you on the other side of this forum who sit there making sure the women you "date" meet xyz criteria for looks even though you probably have not gotten past a 3 month mark in a relationship with any meaning. Partially because of your "raise-the-bar-higher-then-I-actually-deserve" attitude. It does not make you a stud that she loses interest and then you have to find another. Do some of you guys even leave the computer?

 

I AM losing the weight, I will continue. Part of what has stopped me in the past is the acceptance from the same people who used to shame me, the guys who would be *******s to me would start hitting on me, and I would hate myself for making myself more attractive to people like that. I would literally rebel, telling myself that I was not going to let some dickhead people dictate how I "should" look. I hated how superficial the world is.

 

Now I don't care. The rebellion is only hurting me and wrecking chances for my daughter to have a healthy life. I love her and she is who I care about. I don't even care if my husband's "standards" are met. As if he, who would screw anything that moved twice before giving up (including a chick with a beard, not that there is anything wrong with that, but please I am hotter then a chick with a beard) suddenly needs me to reach some almighty "standard" of his. The King of the Circus can go back to the Bearded Lady.

 

I would just like you little pricks to know that the rebellion is over, I grew up just a little more (despite the tone of this post, I am doing this to express some rage/frustration over the despondent years I had). This does not mean that we are friends, you still disgust me and I hope you grow up or disappear quickly. I just really, really wanted you to know that I am NOT changing myself because of anything you said or did. I am not losing weight because I want to belong to your stupid little club, clique or have any desire to be more attractive to anyone who stares at me deciding if I am "meat-worthy" or not. I am losing weight because I want to look as normal as I feel and I want my daughter to have a healthy role-model. You pricks have helped delay me long enough.

 

It was your loss however, because most of you never got to discover how awesome I am in bed.

 

Glad to have this chapter closed with a nice rant. Hopefully I never have to use this tone again.

 

Currently 266.5 Started at 300.5. This is my 35 lb **** you.

[JustJoe]

A little angry are we?

[dreamingoftigers]

Not anymore.

 

Got it all out to a neat little post. Just the collection of the bits and pieces floating around for a llloooonnnggg time that I wasn't able to articulate until Monday.

 

I think it is part of my healing process. Just need to assure myself and others that I am not changing to suit their whims, but my own internal desires.

 

Thanks for posting.

[JustJoe]

Good Luck with your weight-loss program, and I'm really glad that you are doing it for yourself and not for others. You are way more likely to be successful this way. Feel free to PM me any time.

[Leigh 87]

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I really appreciate how it made me understand a little, about your rebellion against the superficial world, and your disgust in how people view you differently, when really, we are ALL FALLIBLE; be is drugs or whatever else.

 

 

To be honest, I hate fat. I HATE the notion that humans were leaner hunter gatheres, and now we load our bodies full of chemicals that were not even AROUND during our evolution.

 

I HATE how we are loading our bodies with poisons; and I HATE how this makes some people very very large; of course, their emotional problems cause them to eat a lot ( but what we eat also makes us far bigger, far easier).

 

WHAT I am saying is: as a health concious person who HATES fat, it is people like you who have STOPPED me from judging people who are on the larger side.

 

 

Modern food makes people fat far easier than our hunter gatherer diets ever did. People with genetic predispositions to certain problems can face trmendous difficulties with gaining weight. Throw in our mis matched modern diets, and people who were born with unlucky genes can get fat VERY easily.

 

So I do not judge people who are " fat". I have no idea what they think about it - they just have the right genes, and had the right triggers, and ate the right foods that caused obesity.

 

 

I really found it interesting to hear how you thought about all this. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE the message that you are not doing this to all those jerks who treated you wrongly.

 

It is AMAZING that, despite all the people who said things about your weight, that that IS NOT the reason you are losing! You had MORE THAN ENOUGH people treating you badly due to your weight, yet you ultimately you did this for YOURSELF lol. Yay!

 

 

 

I just want you to know that I am 114.4 lbs 5 '5, and I hate fat; I would rather die than weigh more than this, and have a serious body image problem.

 

 

yet thankfully, I have sat down and listened to people who are I obese or overweight, and I do not judge you. i do not feel any ill will or distaste or in any way superior to you.

 

I HATE the illness of obesity; it is an awful thing to put a body through, however, there are reasons behind it, so the person is not the one to look at in disgust.

[dreamingoftigers]

Good Luck with your weight-loss program, and I'm really glad that you are doing it for yourself and not for others. You are way more likely to be successful this way. Feel free to PM me any time.

 

Thanks.

[dreamingoftigers]

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I really appreciate how it made me understand a little, about your rebellion against the superficial world, and your disgust in how people view you differently, when really, we are ALL FALLIBLE; be is drugs or whatever else.

 

To be honest, I hate fat. I HATE the notion that humans were leaner hunter gatheres, and now we load our bodies full of chemicals that were not even AROUND during our evolution.

 

To be honest, I don't even really notice my fat all that much. Kinda weird. It really didn't get to me until my husband lost about 30 lbs since starting medication and then he felt a little nicer to cuddle up to. I was kind of surprised because I dated skinny guys before (skin and bones type) and when I met him and we cuddled it felt way better (he was about 40-50 lbs overweight). Then it clicked a bit that there might be something to this thin thing. I have lost as much as 90lbs a shot, but never gotten down to my proper weight, too scared was part of it. I used to think, what if I get thin and it turns out that I have this really ugly body won't it be a waste and then I'll have no excuse for being unattractive. And I'll have no breasts (women in my family are flat when thin, no looking forward to that. We also have no butts.)

 

I HATE how we are loading our bodies with poisons; and I HATE how this makes some people very very large; of course, their emotional problems cause them to eat a lot ( but what we eat also makes us far bigger, far easier).

 

I hate how it is addictive (a recent study showed sugar was more addictive then cocaine) and yet it is not monitored or regulated despite the fact that so many people are dying from it every year. I know it sounds weird to regulate sugar but I truly wish I had to present a card or something every time I craved a milkshake (for example). I know a lot of people would hate that, but I would really, really voluntarily welcome it.

 

WHAT I am saying is: as a health concious person who HATES fat, it is people like you who have STOPPED me from judging people who are on the larger side.

 

cool

 

Modern food makes people fat far easier than our hunter gatherer diets ever did. People with genetic predispositions to certain problems can face trmendous difficulties with gaining weight. Throw in our mis matched modern diets, and people who were born with unlucky genes can get fat VERY easily.

 

Is has progressively become harder to have access to healthy food. Even so many of the fruits and veggies around aren't even close to ripe when picked. The funny thing about me was that I was raised in a home with virtually no vegetables (unless you count my parents ). I LOVE vegetables! I was NEVER the kid that wouldn't eat her vegetables. I still love my veggies. I found it so weird to go to friends houses and see salad served with dinner.

 

So I do not judge people who are " fat". I have no idea what they think about it - they just have the right genes, and had the right triggers, and ate the right foods that caused obesity.

 

I really found it interesting to hear how you thought about all this. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE the message that you are not doing this to all those jerks who treated you wrongly.

 

They can eat me, make the weight-loss process quicker if they really want to help out.

 

It is AMAZING that, despite all the people who said things about your weight, that that IS NOT the reason you are losing! You had MORE THAN ENOUGH people treating you badly due to your weight, yet you ultimately you did this for YOURSELF lol. Yay!

 

And my cute little kid

 

 

 

I just want you to know that I am 114.4 lbs 5 '5, and I hate fat; I would rather die than weigh more than this, and have a serious body image problem.

 

You know what? Being cheated on and feeling sexually unattractive was my greatest fear. I always thought that I would commit suicide if my husband cheated (no I did not share this with him). I thought it would be something I could never make it through. Granted it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me (even worse then my brother's heart attack and brain injury when he was 15, even worse then years of my father's abuse and attempts to kill me (once by strangulation)). But after awhile, even if it takes years, you scrape out some value to life and think that it must get better then this, and you want out of your rut. Things are far more terrifying until you live through them. You will be surprised how you live through being pregnant ( if you become so) or getting an illness that packs on a few pounds. You will live, and you will find joy despite this if you can take a step back from it. Why does so much of your self-esteem come from that number? Why does that number mean more then your life? Why do you assign that number and that look so much power? I may be just some fat broad from Canada but even I can tell you that by obsessing over you body, you are missing out on other parts of life. If you can maintain your health sensibly, then do so. But that's all, don't let your body run your life, use your body to improve your life.

 

 

yet thankfully, I have sat down and listened to people who are I obese or overweight, and I do not judge you. i do not feel any ill will or distaste or in any way superior to you.

 

I HATE the illness of obesity; it is an awful thing to put a body through, however, there are reasons behind it, so the person is not the one to look at in disgust.

 

Thanks for the support. I know people on here sometimes jump on the "you have a body image issue" bandwagon but I think that you are trying to deal with it. Have you figured out if this obsession with your body makes you feel better or worse about it. Do you feel satisfied with yourself or do you go around feeling like you can't measure up?

 

Sorry for a thousand questions but I bet that you kind of have the other side of the coin to what I have been demonized by for a long while. Not trying to target u or anything.

[bentnotbroken]

Continued success with your weight loss. I for one don't like the word c**t. I think it is a word that is beneath you. But I have watched my sister deal with the same crap for years. My brother handles it better, but woman are judged a little more harshly than men(not by much and the gap is closing fast). I am sorry that some people didn't get the proper home training in how treat all people.

[dreamingoftigers]

Continued success with your weight loss. I for one don't like the word c**t. I think it is a word that is beneath you. But I have watched my sister deal with the same crap for years. My brother handles it better, but woman are judged a little more harshly than men(not by much and the gap is closing fast). I am sorry that some people didn't get the proper home training in how treat all people.

 

I am actually surprised that it didn't edit that. When I wrote it, I was filled with gusto but now.... oh well, if you are going to do a major lash-out I guess that I can start recommending limiting the number of bad words that you use. At least I saved a few for a special occassion. That particular word I do not think I have used since shortly after my wedding.

 

My favorite thing is when people ask me if I want tips on how to lose weight, I tell them, "No, I am actually trying to gain more weight, my goal is to be a couch by 2012." I actually tell people this. One guy just looked disgusted and walked away! Like I had somehow put a dent in his day!

 

I think it is funny that when I drop odd amounts of weight at odd times, once I lost about 50 lbs in two months when I was off work. I don't think my diet changed much, well some people that knew me asked what "the secret" was. I simply didn't know why I had lost anything so I told them, "I dunno, sit around and eat." That was basically all that I had been doing at the time LOL (post-car accident). Other times I have dropped lots of weight and been asked for "the secret" I mostly have just told people, "here is what I did to lose weight, but really I am still 200+ lbs, do you think I have the secret?"

[bentnotbroken]

I am actually surprised that it didn't edit that. When I wrote it, I was filled with gusto but now.... oh well, if you are going to do a major lash-out I guess that I can start recommending limiting the number of bad words that you use. At least I saved a few for a special occassion. That particular word I do not think I have used since shortly after my wedding.

 

My favorite thing is when people ask me if I want tips on how to lose weight, I tell them, "No, I am actually trying to gain more weight, my goal is to be a couch by 2012." I actually tell people this. One guy just looked disgusted and walked away! Like I had somehow put a dent in his day!

 

I think it is funny that when I drop odd amounts of weight at odd times, once I lost about 50 lbs in two months when I was off work. I don't think my diet changed much, well some people that knew me asked what "the secret" was. I simply didn't know why I had lost anything so I told them, "I dunno, sit around and eat." That was basically all that I had been doing at the time LOL (post-car accident). Other times I have dropped lots of weight and been asked for "the secret" I mostly have just told people, "here is what I did to lose weight, but really I am still 200+ lbs, do you think I have the secret?"

 

 

People are always looking for a quick fix. But I do so love your response about the couch.:lmao: that is priceless. I will have to tell my sister that one.

[Yer_Blues]

Seems like you are just venting, but be sure not to let the process turn you too bitter. I'm in the -100lb club, and it's easy to start always questioning people's motivations and thinking they are just superficial. I have a hard time accepting anybody at face level largely because of the differences in others' behavior after I lost weight.

 

I would say I definitely didn't do it FOR the people who hated and mistreated me, but it did fuel the anger that made me eventually realize that willpower and tolerance for pain are more empowering than any compliment or external appraisal.

 

Keep up the good work and keep losing the weight.

[tinktronik]

Being a woman is such an odd thing. Part of it is that you are judged so much on how you look. I have almost no personal negative body image, weight for me is simply a non issue typically. I stand about 5 foot 8 and was typically a normal weight growing up. I have a sister that was super skinny but honestly she had serious self image issue (I feel unfounded) because she did not have a classically beautiful face and it always felt like a competition on her end and it always confused me. A competition I have no interest in participating in. I have always gotten a lot of comments about how pretty I am. It had always been something that OTHERS have defined me by.

 

Now lets talk life changes. When life is normal and average for me I sit at about 130 lbs. With any major stress one thing I find naturally occurs is that I garner some control from my diet or lack of diet and I can drop down to 110 or so very quickly. But pregnancy pushes my weight up to somewhere around 200 lbs. I don't really have huge issue with any of these images. I just am what I am during those times, ME, no more no less. At anything other than 130 it seems I am fair game to have my body negatively commented on. I have always found it bizarre that others feel they should point out body parts that don't belong to them. Anything other than average seems to make people open up their mouthes and the strangest things spew out. OP I commend you for doing this for YOURSELF.

[dreamingoftigers]

Seems like you are just venting, but be sure not to let the process turn you too bitter. I'm in the -100lb club, and it's easy to start always questioning people's motivations and thinking they are just superficial. I have a hard time accepting anybody at face level largely because of the differences in others' behavior after I lost weight.

 

I would say I definitely didn't do it FOR the people who hated and mistreated me, but it did fuel the anger that made me eventually realize that willpower and tolerance for pain are more empowering than any compliment or external appraisal.

 

Keep up the good work and keep losing the weight.

 

You look forward to the better treatment, but resent it as well eh? Thanks for the support.

[dreamingoftigers]

Being a woman is such an odd thing. Part of it is that you are judged so much on how you look. I have almost no personal negative body image, weight for me is simply a non issue typically. I stand about 5 foot 8 and was typically a normal weight growing up. I have a sister that was super skinny but honestly she had serious self image issue (I feel unfounded) because she did not have a classically beautiful face and it always felt like a competition on her end and it always confused me. A competition I have no interest in participating in. I have always gotten a lot of comments about how pretty I am. It had always been something that OTHERS have defined me by.

 

Now lets talk life changes. When life is normal and average for me I sit at about 130 lbs. With any major stress one thing I find naturally occurs is that I garner some control from my diet or lack of diet and I can drop down to 110 or so very quickly. But pregnancy pushes my weight up to somewhere around 200 lbs. I don't really have huge issue with any of these images. I just am what I am during those times, ME, no more no less. At anything other than 130 it seems I am fair game to have my body negatively commented on. I have always found it bizarre that others feel they should point out body parts that don't belong to them. Anything other than average seems to make people open up their mouthes and the strangest things spew out. OP I commend you for doing this for YOURSELF.

 

You know what? My weight in itself does not bother me. I know that may sound odd, I feel like I look okay (there are some features that I would like to fix) but the message I have received my whole life is that I am very unattractive and my husband has heavily fuelled that with his sexual addiction. I guess I would feel pretty similarly if I had green hair and that was the distinctly unattractive trait, I would resent having to dye it in order to have some measure of respect and equality. I may eventually have to encourage my daughter who would have "green hair" to dye it or sacrifice certain opportunities in her life.

 

The fact that obesity has health complications to it definitely has made the choice a final one. If it didn't, I am not so sure if I would give a damn half as much about being so overweight.

[Feelin Frisky]

DOT, you go girl. I'm loving it. That was the best anti-fattitude expression I've ever seen. I'm so with you. Kick some @ss and take some names. You are definitley love-worthy.

[dreamingoftigers]

Thank you, I have always liked you voice in standing up for overweight women and women who are struggling with food addiction.

 

I am surprised none of the local-vocal downers are on this thread.

 

Now all I have to do is kick my husband's ass for being such an enabler

 

Today after my grand declaration he brings home fast food after many many times of asking him not to even offer me that junk because I have a hard time refusing A) food, especially the sugar/flour addictive stuff and B) kind gestures he makes towards me. The battle is hard enough on my own but it is getting better, didn't get into any Christmas chocolates today, realizing it just isn't worth it.

 

It has been a frustrating time with him bringing home droves of junk food and fast food (daily I might add) and then telling me he is less attracted to me partially because of my weight.

[Feelin Frisky]

Thank you, I have always liked you voice in standing up for overweight women and women who are struggling with food addiction.

 

I am surprised none of the local-vocal downers are on this thread.

 

Now all I have to do is kick my husband's ass for being such an enabler

 

Today after my grand declaration he brings home fast food after many many times of asking him not to even offer me that junk because I have a hard time refusing A) food, especially the sugar/flour addictive stuff and B) kind gestures he makes towards me. The battle is hard enough on my own but it is getting better, didn't get into any Christmas chocolates today, realizing it just isn't worth it.

 

It has been a frustrating time with him bringing home droves of junk food and fast food (daily I might add) and then telling me he is less attracted to me partially because of my weight.

 

Hey, my whole life has been a constant wieght problem. Otherwise, who knows?, I'd might be one of those snarky putzes who keeps patting himself on the back for not being fat--as if it were a choice for him. My weight goes in and out with the tides. Having certain people in your immediate life can be toxic. My last relationship went kaput as I got myself in such super shape I don't think anyone would think I were ever a fatty. But then this girl seemed to be about eating out all the time, going to her mother's house and having everyone bring a host of Italian pastries blah, blah, blah. It was hard to say no and not appear like I was rejecting her culture and family. So, I gave in and it knocked me totally offf my pins. Then, guess what? She wonders how I could gain weight. Duh? Can't have it both ways--some people can. I can't. Hang in there and don't take any shi+. I really dug your rant and know where you're coming from. Thaqy can eat me too. I used to go to OA in NYC where I was one of the few men among many struggling women--not a bad place to be. Hey world--eat us!

Edited December 18, 2010 by Feelin Frisky

[Yer_Blues]

Thank you, I have always liked you voice in standing up for overweight women and women who are struggling with food addiction.

 

I am surprised none of the local-vocal downers are on this thread.

 

Now all I have to do is kick my husband's ass for being such an enabler

 

Today after my grand declaration he brings home fast food after many many times of asking him not to even offer me that junk because I have a hard time refusing A) food, especially the sugar/flour addictive stuff and B) kind gestures he makes towards me. The battle is hard enough on my own but it is getting better, didn't get into any Christmas chocolates today, realizing it just isn't worth it.

 

It has been a frustrating time with him bringing home droves of junk food and fast food (daily I might add) and then telling me he is less attracted to me partially because of my weight.

My parents are still toxic in this manner. I try hard not to get hateful about it (I still blame them for my childhood obesity) Don't forget that a lot of people simply don't comprehend the struggle if they haven't had to go through it, and that buying you fast food etc. might not be malicious, just a bit ignorant or insensitive. Just tell him to stop bringing it and communicate your goals and what you have to do to reach them and I can't imagine it wouldn't stop.

[dreamingoftigers]

My parents are still toxic in this manner. I try hard not to get hateful about it (I still blame them for my childhood obesity) Don't forget that a lot of people simply don't comprehend the struggle if they haven't had to go through it, and that buying you fast food etc. might not be malicious, just a bit ignorant or insensitive. Just tell him to stop bringing it and communicate your goals and what you have to do to reach them and I can't imagine it wouldn't stop.

 

The bolded above has been done, but I think that he does it because he wants to eat fast food (yesterday Harvey's) without feeling guilty so he brings some home. I have asked A LOT for that not to happen, including again last night, so we'll see.

 

I am no totally blameless here as I brought him buttertarts last week, we had a rough week and I thought that I would get him a treat, they are his favorite. I suspect he has that mentality too.

[Yer_Blues]

The bolded above has been done, but I think that he does it because he wants to eat fast food (yesterday Harvey's) without feeling guilty so he brings some home. I have asked A LOT for that not to happen, including again last night, so we'll see.

 

I am no totally blameless here as I brought him buttertarts last week, we had a rough week and I thought that I would get him a treat, they are his favorite. I suspect he has that mentality too.

This is exactly what happens. When I come home, my parents will celebrate with food. When things go rough or after a hard day of work, they relieve stress with food. When they are bored, they make food or snacks or desserts.

 

Theres a million and one uses for food when its a seratonin releasing, pleasurable experience in the manner of a drug. But I decided when I started this business that despite a few exceptions where I truly am OK with celebrating with food, I'm going to view it as a means to stay alive and get necessary nutrients.

 

Getting in this mindset is a bitch, and even the strongest of wills makes exceptions sometimes. But the sooner everybody in the household is willing to really radically change how they view and use food, the easier the whole process gets. Motivate each other. I never like being controlling or guilting people, but if you both agree to it, trying to prevent each other from abusing food during stressful times is a good support system. I told my best friends to always nag me or say something if I'm straying and not to encourage the habit. You being there not only to REFUSE fast food, but accost the other for even getting it, should lead to better results as long as there is buy in on both sides.

 

Literally, next time it happens, just bring up the occasions on which you said not to and simply REFUSE it. You don't have to be dramatic or make it into something serious, but just because something is delicious, available, and already conveniently prepared and purchased doesn't mean it needs to be consumed. Denying something like McDonalds when it's been purchased for me gives me such an ego/will/confidence boost. Or making a dessert or dish and not having any myself.

Edited December 18, 2010 by Yer_Blues

[dreamingoftigers]

You don't seem to be comfortable in your own skin. No matter how much weight you lose, you will always feel like a fat girl in a skinny girl's body unless you change that.

 

Not calling you fat, by the way. That's rude.

 

OKay, well I will go get myself a cheesecake then....

 

No I am not too comfortable in my own skin. I grew up in a toxic-shaming family and have a toxic-shaming spouse, one doesn't get to get too comfortable, all I can do is work on it and try to accept who I am. I can set goals for myself and look into different ways to improve my self-esteem. Losing weight and holding to my goals isn't going to make that ole self-esteem any worse.

 

If it turns out that I am just ugly, at least half of the battle is over and then I can use all the money I would have spent at Wendy's on getting some plastic surgery, or continued counselling. Onward and upward!

 

Better to at least try to find the exit door from Hell then to sit there thinking, "well, I probably won't find it anyways so I might as well sit here and eat until I turn into a couch for the other Hellians to sit on."

[creighton0123]

Girl, if that's you in your avatar, you're much better off than many people I've seen. You are very beautiful.

 

I'd say take a week and write down exactly what you eat. Afterwards, review it and figure out what you can cut out and what you should replace it with. There's a show on BBC that I recommend so many of my friends who have a problem with food addiction/unhealthy eating. "You are what you eat". Not only does that show exhibit bad dietary habits, but methods on responding and eating well.

 

My only problem with food at the moment is cooking for one. Being in a long distance relationship, I often find that while I'm a GREAT cook, I have trouble cooking for myself and am much more prone to calling for take-away or delivery. Still, even with delivery food I usually limit myself to the vegan menu, a healthy selection from a good Thai restaurant, or pizza on Fridays.

 

In your last comment, you said that you were uegly. Looking at your picture, you are sooooo not ugly. You have a full figure, yes, but your face, your hair, and your concern for yourself and others manifest in your post make you a VERY beautiful person.

 

You do not need plastic surgery. No one needs plastic surgery unless it is used to fix damage through birth defects or accidents.

 

If you get a chance to, watch some Margret Cho. She's an awesome comedian whose opinion on beauty is worth knowing. Perhaps even watching Katy Perry's "Firework" might help. Her opinion on human beauty is both fundamental and great.

 

And I'll drive this home one more time: You are effin beautiful. You have no reason to be uncomfortable in your skin.

[Gold Pile]

Dreamtiger, sorry I'm late in my vocal downer duties. Good thing I'm too dense to note the barb or two aimed my way. There again...I do have an ego that makes me think eveything is about me.

 

Great post! I really enjoyed it. I hardly know what to say, the typical wishes of good luck, probably wouldn't mean much coming from me. Congrats are in order for what you've already accomplished. Again, how much would it mean to you?

 

Witty women turn me on . I look forward to your posts.

[dreamingoftigers]

Dreamtiger, sorry I'm late in my vocal downer duties. Good thing I'm too dense to note the barb or two aimed my way. There again...I do have an ego that makes me think eveything is about me.

 

Great post! I really enjoyed it. I hardly know what to say, the typical wishes of good luck, probably wouldn't mean much coming from me. Congrats are in order for what you've already accomplished. Again, how much would it mean to you?

 

Witty women turn me on . I look forward to your posts.

 

Actually GP, you may be one of the team but in no way is the attitude that I refer to yours and yours alone. If there are certain things that earmarked you, then that may be symptomatic of the type of individual that espouses that attitude that has assisted in making me crazier over the years. I don't think I actually gleaned your last thread. I think that I am familiar with your stance though.

 

Any resemblance to recent posters, living or dead (dumb-dumb or not) is purely coincidental.

 

Most of us in a unevolved state think that everything is about us. Can't say that I have left that state completely behind myself. But a true congratulations/well wish etc. in context in always welcomed.

 

If wit is what does it for you, you had better watch out, you may just become a chubby-chasing internet stalker.

[dreamingoftigers]

This is exactly what happens. When I come home, my parents will celebrate with food. When things go rough or after a hard day of work, they relieve stress with food. When they are bored, they make food or snacks or desserts.

 

Theres a million and one uses for food when its a seratonin releasing, pleasurable experience in the manner of a drug. But I decided when I started this business that despite a few exceptions where I truly am OK with celebrating with food, I'm going to view it as a means to stay alive and get necessary nutrients.

 

Getting in this mindset is a bitch, and even the strongest of wills makes exceptions sometimes. But the sooner everybody in the household is willing to really radically change how they view and use food, the easier the whole process gets. Motivate each other. I never like being controlling or guilting people, but if you both agree to it, trying to prevent each other from abusing food during stressful times is a good support system. I told my best friends to always nag me or say something if I'm straying and not to encourage the habit. You being there not only to REFUSE fast food, but accost the other for even getting it, should lead to better results as long as there is buy in on both sides.

 

Literally, next time it happens, just bring up the occasions on which you said not to and simply REFUSE it. You don't have to be dramatic or make it into something serious, but just because something is delicious, available, and already conveniently prepared and purchased doesn't mean it needs to be consumed. Denying something like McDonalds when it's been purchased for me gives me such an ego/will/confidence boost. Or making a dessert or dish and not having any myself.

 

Yeah it is a bitch. I had to refuse more food tonight. Like jeepers, we are in financial trouble and he is trying to encourage me to order out when he was already making dinner! WTF?! I still ended up having chocolate today but I am not going to let myself get too hung up on that and just get past it. I just have to take it easy at Christmas and I know that I will be cooking up a lot of New Year's just have to watch portions.

 

I am getting very concerned about my daughter because she has started refusing some of her vegetables and trying to get into sweeter/starchier things. My parents feed her instant rice when she is over there and I am going to send her with some differently balanced foods. It is sad because she is so young but we are going to have to limit her options a little more for the next little bit until she starts being more interested in her kale, spinach and lentils again. I am not going to be Gestapo Mom about it or make a big dramatic thing about it. I would just like to see her be as healthy as she can be during these formative years.

 

I know she will eat some garbage when she goes to school in the future but I would like home to be a pretty-much junk free zone, we really don't need it.

 

263.5 today yay. (Not that the number decides everything, I was a little surprised to see it.)