Thinkalot Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 OK..I want t go to ballroom dancing classes. A new course has just started, and I can go on Sunday afternoons, after I finish work, starting this Sunday. But there are more women than men, and my lovely, spunky, hunky, wonderful partner (I'm hoping he'll read this and a bit of buttering up will help) will not come with me! I have tried many times to convince him of the merits of the ballroom classes, but to no avail. I refuse to stoop too low, but I need some suggestions here on how to persuade him otherwise. Merry, you are the dancing queen, any ideas on how to change a determined man's mind? I have mentioned it to all work colleagues...but no takers so far. My closest work mate's wife would also like to go, but he has taken a similar stance to my man. All suggestions, serious or otherwise welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Merry, you are the dancing queen, any ideas on how to change a determined man's mind? You think I'm a miracle worker? Depends on the reasons for the refusal. A LOT of men fear looking stupid. They aren't persuaded by the fact that pretty much nobody knows what they are doing at the beginning so they can't look any worse than anyone else. Maybe he thinks he can't dance. Lots of men think that and find out that they not only pick it up but love it. In fact, one of the men in my club was just telling me the other day how his wife persuaded him to take it. He wasn't at all enthused but did it for her. He hasn't the wife anymore but he's a dance addict now. Would he be willing to go to one class to at least try it? If so, he might just find he enjoys it. Tell him from me that it's the best exercise there is - plus you don't have to change clothes and you get to do it in close quarters with your partner! I might use 'entice' rather than 'coerce', BTW! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 15, 2004 Author Share Posted March 15, 2004 I used 'coerce' as a bit of a joke. I will try the "come along for one class" approach. Maybe I should put an offer of wild passionate sex after every class, on the table? Although I might not be able to keep my end of the bargain..LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 15, 2004 Author Share Posted March 15, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme You think I'm a miracle worker? Not quite a miracle worker perhaps, but close P.S. My man WILL read this post (in case he doesn't visit the site, I'm forwarding it to him for a laugh anyway) so people, please feel free to address him directly. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 In response to the men who do not want to go: Oh come ON! What is the matter with you? I cannot dance for my life, and if I had a wonderful woman in my life willing to try and teach me to be elegant on my feet I would jump at the chance to go. I'm not great at improvisation but learning actual steps would be great for me. What really is the loss here? These are lessons, and you are not expected to know the first thing about how to dance. Go and try it. I'm sure you will have fun and as a plus I'm quite certain your partner will find you oh-so-much more amazing for participating. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Does it have to be Ballroom? Maybe he'd prefer a different type - Salsa? There are some great Salsa nights at clubs - it can be a lot of fun. Maybe if there was a pay off in terms of social life it would make it more attractive. Plus the costumes aren't quite so silly Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 my vote goes out to salsa - it's so much fun! just take him to a club once - he'll see it and he'll wanna learn! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 You don't wear costumes for ballroom until you're competing. At Gold level. People wear regular clothes to dance. Ballroom dances (and dancers) are also very social. In my town, you'll find them at EVERY dance; singles' dances, local events and parties, etc. It's actually the salsa dancers who seem to stick together more. Ballroom is not a closed society until/unless you're a competitor. Most people never compete because it costs too much in $ and time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 15, 2004 Author Share Posted March 15, 2004 Thanks for the comments friends. The only constraint I face, is the place where we live! It's not a big city, and the classes on offer are limited. I was also interested in Rock n' roll or salsa, but it ain't on offer, and we don't have any cool clubs here. They place I'm looking at going is supposed to be good though, and they do Latin, New Vogue and different dances like that. Last night I smiled sweetly, VERY sweetly and tried the "just come along and see" approach. I was told he was really not interested. I pretended I did not hear a direct answer at all, and said "well our first class is this Sunday"...which was followed with the reply, "Oh- is it really?"....I left the conversation there (well I did briefly try the guilt approach..."but honey, I'd try something new for you" but that went nowhere..lol!). Hope remains though, so please keep coming with persuasive comments, because my dear BunnyBoy is reading too Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Bunny, honey - try it! You'll like it! Really, it's great. It is very social. You can visit any city, go to a dance (everyplace has ballroom dancers) and feel right at home. I've been involved in various sorts of dance over the years and it seems that dance attracts nice folks. Oh, there'll be the odd jerk, but because these sorts of things tend to generate communities, people who aren't very nice don't last too long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 OK..my lovely partner (aka Bunnyboy) has just told me he WILL come along to some classes with me and give it a go, with the condition that if he doesn't like it , he will stop! That's fine with me. He isn't starting right away though. He works full time and is also studying. So he is going to wait until his last exam is done in May and then, when he has more spare time, come along with me and see. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 WOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Link to post Share on other sites
A Thought Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 Congratulations Bunnyboy and Thinkalot, you'll have tons of fun! Thinkalot, I know this is a little late....but, do you two dance together at home? Maybe help him start to feel a little more comfortable with it all by every once in awhile dancing together at home. (Use it as a study break ) No one is watching so act goofy and have some fun. Often, it can also lead to other exciting extracurricular activities. Just a suggestion though! AT Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 A Thought- I like it! Good suggestion Link to post Share on other sites
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