9Lives Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 it has been 4 months since we officially broke up for good. I just went ahead and made it final. we had a off and on rel for at least 2 of the 5 yrs we were together. in that time he met a chic last year and he is still dealing with her. she is fb friends with his family and friends. he took her to his family reunion this year. it seems like he is really into her. his best friend told me it is not all that but it don't seem like that to me. she is family now. this information has really messed me up and has made healing harder. we had mutual friends and I am embarassed cause he has brought her around them so I stop going around for a while and defriend fb too them cause I don't want to get hurt more. my ex has totally move on from what I can see and it hurts so so much. I want to move on but every morning when I wake up I think about all this and it still hurts so much. everything I wanted he gae to her and I pain over it all the time. I want to move on but its so very hard Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Everything takes time. Stop talking to his best friend about him. Work on yourself and you shall be fine. Focus on yourself...Best revenge is your own success. Use the force...Be positive and positive attracts yourself. By you taking to his friend about him, ur x shall know you still think about him like the 50 Cent song Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 9Lives, a gentle admonishment: Stop with the masochism. For your sake . SithLord's right, don't talk about him to friends PERIOD. Let them know ahead of time that he's an off-limits subject. You can be polite about it by saying something like "I really don't want to hear anything about him for awhile. I'm concentrating on myself right now." Then, stick to it. You need to equate him to emotional poison and avoid him/news of him completely. It's on one of the LS guides to NC that you regard him as you would a serial killer. Sounds funny but it can help. Facebook! Ugh! Thou name is torture!! Everyone puts his/her best face forward on that thing. People post pictures of only happy moments giving the illusion that their life is full of joy. No one posts pictures of the moment they felt biting regret or incomprehensible sorrow--or disgust with their new partner. It can be a very deceiving instrument. Best stay away rather than fill your head with painful images. I can't tell if you've defriended all your links to him on FB. Have you? Link to post Share on other sites
marigo Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Hey 9lives, I feel your pain. Not only do we have to suffer from the loss after our exes breaking up with us, now we have to deal with having to see or hear about them and their new gfs. It hurts like crazy. I too am going through the whole "new gf is a family" thing. I found out through a friend that my ex's family are all goin to disneyland bringing their bf and gf. So that includes my ex's new gf and i was so hurt by this. I know its nothing personal but it hurts to know he has moved on and is truly in love with this new girl. One way to look at it though, you will no longer hope for him to come back because he is with someone else now. Now you can fully move on with your life without having to wait for him or if a new guy comes along, you wont be like "what if he comes back?" Thats what happened to me and i rejected every guy that came my way even ones i saw as potentials. Stay strong. Its gonna take a long time and its gonna hurt. But you have to keep fighting! Link to post Share on other sites
habs53 Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 it has been 4 months since we officially broke up for good. I just went ahead and made it final. we had a off and on rel for at least 2 of the 5 yrs we were together. in that time he met a chic last year and he is still dealing with her. she is fb friends with his family and friends. he took her to his family reunion this year. it seems like he is really into her. his best friend told me it is not all that but it don't seem like that to me. she is family now. this information has really messed me up and has made healing harder. we had mutual friends and I am embarassed cause he has brought her around them so I stop going around for a while and defriend fb too them cause I don't want to get hurt more. my ex has totally move on from what I can see and it hurts so so much. I want to move on but every morning when I wake up I think about all this and it still hurts so much. everything I wanted he gae to her and I pain over it all the time. I want to move on but its so very hard Sometimes things are not what they appear. I would take his fiends comment more seriously. He simply may be trying to make you jealous. I have done these things myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 9Lives, a gentle admonishment: Stop with the masochism. For your sake . SithLord's right, don't talk about him to friends PERIOD. Let them know ahead of time that he's an off-limits subject. You can be polite about it by saying something like "I really don't want to hear anything about him for awhile. I'm concentrating on myself right now." Then, stick to it. You need to equate him to emotional poison and avoid him/news of him completely. It's on one of the LS guides to NC that you regard him as you would a serial killer. Sounds funny but it can help. Facebook! Ugh! Thou name is torture!! Everyone puts his/her best face forward on that thing. People post pictures of only happy moments giving the illusion that their life is full of joy. No one posts pictures of the moment they felt biting regret or incomprehensible sorrow--or disgust with their new partner. It can be a very deceiving instrument. Best stay away rather than fill your head with painful images. I can't tell if you've defriended all your links to him on FB. Have you? this was very helpful...thaNK YOU Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 Hey 9lives, I feel your pain. Not only do we have to suffer from the loss after our exes breaking up with us, now we have to deal with having to see or hear about them and their new gfs. It hurts like crazy. I too am going through the whole "new gf is a family" thing. I found out through a friend that my ex's family are all goin to disneyland bringing their bf and gf. So that includes my ex's new gf and i was so hurt by this. I know its nothing personal but it hurts to know he has moved on and is truly in love with this new girl. One way to look at it though, you will no longer hope for him to come back because he is with someone else now. Now you can fully move on with your life without having to wait for him or if a new guy comes along, you wont be like "what if he comes back?" Thats what happened to me and i rejected every guy that came my way even ones i saw as potentials. Stay strong. Its gonna take a long time and its gonna hurt. But you have to keep fighting! This was so hard to read that I couldnt read it all. Sorry but my heart skipped a beat on the disney thing. I cant handle that and it aint me Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts