calithin83 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 ive been with my bf for 3 years and 3 months and we have gone through, ups and downs but no matter remained strong!! i love him alot...and i feel like he loves me too! hes 19 and going to be 20 on june, and im 20 going to be 21, anyways i was wondering if theres anyway that we might end up being meant for eachother? anyway i can know??? I love him alot and i do wish that hes the guy i marry one day, i really wouldnt wanna have kids but with him i would..is be thrilled!!! also my parents like him alot and i bet they would also like us to stay together, cos he really is different then other guys. anyways his parents seem to like me too..also i dont like washing cloth or cooking...but im willing to do all that if i were to stay with him, i already wash his cloth, but i still have to learn to cook..but i think id be a great wife and id always make him feel happy! but of course i dont want to marry anytime soon..i want to wait til im 26-28 yrs old. Anyways...is there any way i can know if hes the one??? or is this the way to feel for any guy thats ure first love??? my parents r religious and theyve prayed that if hes not the one for me to send him away...and no matter what hes still around..and even ive prayed..also the weirdest thing is that before i met my bf i specifically prayed to God to send me "a russian bf, whos nice and is a virgin" and that was exactly what my bf was...so i think that means something....my prayer came true!! with the 3 exavt things i ask for, and where i live is onyl hispanics and blacks...so it was weird how i met my bf! Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 By any chance is this Mr. 'lets break up then'? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted March 15, 2004 Author Share Posted March 15, 2004 haha ya..sorry...but acutally hes really sweet..im jsut really insecure and spoiled and i wanted all his attention to me and when i didnt get it , id make a big deal about it..but when i think about it..hes really a great guy..and VERY patient with me..cos i have been voerly jealous and possesive in the past..but ive decided to change that.....hes really nice though and thats why my parents like him alot too..and hes never cheated or name called me...even though i once named called him..hes just really layed back..and we are complete opposites but i really love him and i know he loves me too and thats why we are still together despite arguments Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 You're not meant for anyone, no one was created for another person, and your destiny is not predetermined at birth. I think like you all of the time, and I'm pretty certain I'll acheive what you describe. But I've resigned myself to that, if it doesn't happen, the experience is not worthless. Some women think that marriage is this holy grail, that it solidifies everything, and makes everything better--that's hardly the case. Marriage isn't permanent nowadays, and it certainly doesn't make everything easier. If you don't end up marrying him, your experience with him will still be good in shaping who you are and how you behave in the future. If you do, there's still a chance that you could be miserable. To be in a relationship is to take a risk; to love is to be vulnerable. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 If he's a great guy, then perhaps you should focus on being a better gal to him. I read your posts, cali and if you want to make this work, you need to stop fussing at him over nonsense, like his religious beliefs. This will drive a man away. Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought the two of you had split up. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted March 15, 2004 Author Share Posted March 15, 2004 nah i dont think we have to split up i just think that i have alot to grow up and so does he a bit...but i think we will be fine overall 80% seems good and 20% we need work on..but no couple is perfect..i guess what matters is that we both dont give up on eachother and really wanna be together to make it work out..plus we're young so its normal to have difficulties..i dunno what might happen in the future and if we ever did break up i will always love him...he will always be my first love and no one nor nothing will change that! and if we would break up im hoping that we get back in the future when we both r more mature and then really able to settle down:) Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Cali - I didn't say that you had to split up. I said that I had thought the two of you had split up. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 You're still pretty young, Calithin, and I'd advise waiting several years before you should really consider about marrying this guy. You both have some growing up to do. Like Dyermaker, I don't believe in soulmates. I figure there are a number of people any one of us could be happy in a relationship with. As far as marriage is concerned, I don't see it as a the big goal for every relationship. Don't have a hazy dream about getting married someday, think about being in a relationship with a good person in the future who you may decide to marry. A lot of younger girls think of the wedding dress and the ceremony, not the full, day to day, good and bad commitment they will be taking on when they get married. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 whoa whoa whoa. i'm sorry, but i feel compelled to state clearly that i do not think this will be a sucessful relationship. let's review the evidence from your series of posts about this guy ok? 1. the constant fights 2. the lack of communication 3. the unrealistic expectations and needs. 4. your need for drama and his passive-aggressive: ok, let's break up then. if you are not, despite all evidence to the contrary, broken up, you are also not in a good relationship. this is not a good relationship. it is a bad, verging on toxic, relationship. it might be thrilling, but from your own accounts of it, not at all healthy. seriously, i beg you to re-read your own posts on this guy. i don't care if your parents love him - i don't care if he can be occasionally sweet. whatever relationship you guys have seems to make you both crazy, and not in any kind of deluded-romantic way either. finally, don't credit a bad relationship on g-d or use this as an excuse to keep clinging to a safe but unhealthy interaction. i think he would not want you to be with a man who hurts you emotionally, or in a relationship where you hurt yourself. and, for the record, if g-d does exist, and if she answers prayers, i very much doubt the dynamic would be like ordering take-out. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Ugh. I give it a few more days until they break up again and she's miserable again and wants advice again and doesn't take our advice again. I think you two COUNT on the drama. You dwell on it. Without drama, you two have nothing, so there's constantly something happening, something to argue about, something to fight about or cry about. When are you going to realize that this ridiculous emotional rollercoaster you're on will NEVER end as long as you're with him? You said it yourself, he treats you like a friggin' YOYO, he wants you, he doesn't want you, he wants you, he doesn't want you, and yet, you STICK WITH HIM. WHY?!? Ahhh I give up. Link to post Share on other sites
catspajamas Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Enjoy the ride! Link to post Share on other sites
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