Immature, Clingy or Just confused! Your opinions valued.......

[LikkleMissConfused]

I need some advice. I met this lovely, kind, caring, giving guy. Who gives me so much enjoyment, takes care of me and is so kind to me. Although from time to time he gets very clingy. Let me start the story from scratch.

 

Firstly from getting to know his parents and family life, he doesn’t get respected much by his younger brother who is in a five-year relationship and they have just bought a house. He is 22 years of age and she is about the same. But both are very disrespectful and rude to his parents and to me. Tim, is 27 and I believe has decided that he isn’t going to put up with the crap from his bro or his parents. As his parents seem to always tell Tim to calm down and just stay quiet, as he is older he should just forgive his bro. Well Tim has had enough as his younger bro tells him he is a piece of sh*t and a loser etc etc. I have helped him to be strong and to stick up for himself. His parents can’t even see whats right and wrong and have also messed me about over their warped thinking. They have even said to me that I am older and should just ignore them and forgive them.. I understand they don’t want arguments but come on as parents they have to put their kids right. One example is, once Tim and me were staying at his parent’s house. Tim told his younger bro to sleep downstairs as I’m staying over and we can sleep in the room that they share. When we got back late at night after clubbing he was purposely sleeping in the room. So Tim woke him up and got him to move even though his bro was swearing at him constantly. Every time before this I slept downstairs on the sofa with Tim. Whilst they were fighting I was sitting downstairs listening and I felt like going home.

 

Well recently I’ve got to know Tim and he is lovely, kind and caring. But to me he seems so lost and confused. Earlier on in the week he kept calling me while I was at work and when I didn’t answer because I was busy he would ask me later why I didn’t answer the phone. It started to stress me out, because I’m at work and I’m busy if I don’t answer my mobile I think its obvious why! He really annoyed me this weekend, I mentioned I wanted to go bra shopping with my girlfriends. He asked if we will be going out of town I said yes. He said he’ll come drop u off and meet me afterwards. This made me angry because I wanted to go bra shopping with my friends, couldn’t he just say ‘OK you go with your girls and I’ll do something with my mates’ but he wants to be with me every weekend all the time. Its almost like he hasn’t got his own life. It frustrates me a lot but I feel bad at the same time as I was also like this before with guys I had dated. Clingy and put them first., which left me with nothign as I kept on giving, I think he wants to feel a sense of belonging but its tiring me out. Then he gets upset and I have to explain. Why can’t he just be relaxed then everything would be perfect. I get tired of explaining everything and I am so upset that I have cried about it. I adore him but will do what I can afford and keep a limit. He's acting immature in my opinion, even if he can't afford the petrol he will come down to see me, he want to buy a house soon but how is he going to afford that if he can't be sensible in our relationship. Is it me or do you understand what I am trying to say!

[moimeme]

If you ask for a change in behaviour and it's a reasonable request because the behaviour is out of the ordinary, and the person you ask does not comply after repeated requests, it's a bad sign. Don't keep hoping he will change. He won't and this will drive you nuts. Drop him.

 

BTW, these are not children. Men of 22 and 27 should not need mommy and daddy to straighten out their problems!!!!