advicegirl Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 How can you deal with jealously over your crush? I like a guy and everytime hes around someone else I have this major jealously. Though the jealously is gone when he comes back and hangs around me. Please tell me if you have any ideas, and I already tryed to forget about him and I can't. Advicegirl Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 find another Crush to focus on, and keep occupied with other stuff you like to do. this way you wont have time to think obsessively about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author advicegirl Posted April 25, 2004 Author Share Posted April 25, 2004 Thats the thing, I can't forget him. I tryed soo many times and it is totally pointless. I am getting better though. Link to post Share on other sites
acaine Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 I have the same problem. I am so jealous think it's going to ruin my relationship of 3 years. I don't like for my boyfriend to talk to anyone of the opposite sex. He talks to his children's mother (ex-wife) on phone and I can't stand it. I find him calling his best friend and her yahoo messaging him little hellos and how are you's I hate it. It makes me nauseaus. I wish I could offer up some good advice, but I am seriously in need of some myself. If anyone could help both of us it would be much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 if he's got a big package and a big wallet, no woman is going to forget him... so, does he have a small wallet? If he's like me and you knew me and that I have no money, you'd lose your crush on him in a split second...that and the penis thing(opposite of big that is) Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 I disagree i'm afraid spencer, by being interested in someone else, i feel you just transfer your focus to something/one else without dealing with the issues that cause jealousy. Do a google search, throws up lots of good links, i posted something i copied from a website a few weeks ago about jealousy: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=226377#post226377 Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Hmm. I suppose I'm having about of jealousy and I can explain how I am dealing with it. A girl I'm dating wanted to go purchase a sex toy, and she wanted me to come with her to get it. Due to gas prices, it would be slightly inconvenient for her to come down here unless she had a full day, you know, to purchase the sex toy. I was looking forward to helping her pick it out. Last night she informed me that she is going to purchase one with another guy friend of hers, and I told her that I was jealous. I trust her, and this guy is just a friend. However, I think the jealousy came about because it's been difficult to see her as much as I want to lately, and I thought that we were going to do this together. It is something I for certain reasons wanted to share with her, and I'm unhappy that she is taking her other friend to go and get it. I'm going to have to wait until this evening to find out if she drove all the way up to New York to see him in order to do this, in which case I will have a talking with her (I live MUCH closer). Additionally, I will again calmly and rationally explain why I have a tinge of jealousy over her going to get a sex toy with, well NOT me, especially when she said she wanted to go with me. The end of things, however, is that I made a list. Why am I upset? Because she is going to get a sex toy with a friend of hers. Do I have anything to worry about? No, absolutely not — I'm just bummed because I wanted to do this with her. I'll explain how I feel and trust that, after we talk about it, she'll understand that I would not want her to do this sort of thing in the future. Problem solved, and jealousy dealt with properly. You know, I find that in most cases, talking about any jealousy as soon as you feel it really helps; you begin to quickly realize that you've nothing to worry about. When you talk about it, the other person understands better when you can think rationally, and will try his or her best not to upset you in the future I recommend talking to this "crush" of yours. If he has no idea that you like him, he might think you are a bit psychopathic if you keep acting this way around him. Go talk to him, and explain your feelings before they get out of hand. Jealousy is not something you want to let get the better of you. Whatever causes your jealousy now might seem less important after you discuss it with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 faux "I'm going to have to wait until this evening to find out if she drove all the way up to New York to see him in order to do this, in which case I will have a talking with her" how you gonna handle that man? I'd be out of there in a flash...but that's me...weird guy who'll end thing quick like Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by dudesomewhere faux "I'm going to have to wait until this evening to find out if she drove all the way up to New York to see him in order to do this, in which case I will have a talking with her" how you gonna handle that man? I'd be out of there in a flash...but that's me...weird guy who'll end thing quick like Oh, they're just friends. I think the guy's cool. I'm just bummed she's not taking me as she said she would. The only thing that crossed my mind was "Awww MAN! I wanted to go to a seedy porn type shop with her beautiful self!" Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Listen, faux, I'd be out of my mind if my bf would even consider taking the uglyies, fattest most disgusting girl with him whe wanting to shop that. Call me a hypocrite, but it is so much about actually the pleasure of buying. Of anticipating... I mean, honestely, these things are probably gonna end up sticked in one of your bodies... that's your business and yours only. Lingery, maybe. Sex toys? Hell NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The connexion is out there. It is there, it is clear, it is like an invitation. Faux, it is erotic. She is doing an erotic thing with another man. This is nothing to be opened about! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by CurlyIam Listen, faux, I'd be out of my mind if my bf would even consider taking the uglyies, fattest most disgusting girl with him whe wanting to shop that. Call me a hypocrite, but it is so much about actually the pleasure of buying. Of anticipating... I mean, honestely, these things are probably gonna end up sticked in one of your bodies... that's your business and yours only. Lingery, maybe. Sex toys? Hell NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The connexion is out there. It is there, it is clear, it is like an invitation. Faux, it is erotic. She is doing an erotic thing with another man. This is nothing to be opened about! There is absolutely no sense in me getting all upset over it when I can do nothing to prevent it from happening. She does not want to wait any longer to get the toy, so she is going today supposedly with her other friend to go get it. Worse things can happen. It doesn't make sense for me to get angry about it when, as I said, I cannot change anything. Maybe I could have spoken to her at more length about it last night, but I chose not to for whatever reason ::shrug:: But yes, generally when a woman takes you to a porn shop it is an "invitation", even if this fellow has a girlfriend of three years, and she HAS given people the wrong idea before. Eh, things can be worse. I'll deal with whatever comes of it when it comes Besides... I trust in her to do what is right. If she is going to do something bad, there is no way I can stop it from happening. Same as anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 If you don't mind, then great! You are so much more a grown up than I am! I would have told him at least to be buying it alone! Anyway, nice of you to be a gentleman about it! Insecure lil me would wake the hole neighbourhood with my insecurities Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 curlyiam...3 hours sleep...score! too much caffeine from my vacation and to start the midnight shift...oy! faux...I'm just talking about one being compelled to do that...driving all that way, regardless if male or female. I always paint those silly pictures in my head "hey you want to come up and do X with me? Nah, I'd rather drive 40 miles to see so and so then 10 to see you." Additionally, I always wonder motivations behind things...as I will by nature never do things to make another wonder or go out of my way to make sure someone doesn't have to wonder. I wonder if someone takes someone along to show or hint to them the "flexibility" of their relationships you know. The only guy I'd trust and not worry about is me! Cuz I'm weird....stress the weird. work sucks...damn fortune cookies are worthless...my beloved lotto...snif snif Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by dudesomewhere faux...I'm just talking about one being compelled to do that...driving all that way, regardless if male or female. I always paint those silly pictures in my head "hey you want to come up and do X with me? Nah, I'd rather drive 40 miles to see so and so then 10 to see you." Additionally, I always wonder motivations behind things...as I will by nature never do things to make another wonder or go out of my way to make sure someone doesn't have to wonder. I wonder if someone takes someone along to show or hint to them the "flexibility" of their relationships you know. The only guy I'd trust and not worry about is me! Cuz I'm weird....stress the weird. work sucks...damn fortune cookies are worthless...my beloved lotto...snif snif If I started to paint silly pictures in my head, that would mean that I did not trust this girl, and that would be a very bad thing. Again, I trust her to do what is right. If she breaks my trust I can deal with it then. I'm fine so long as we still have our nifty stimulating conversations, go on dates here and there, and hang out with her son The whole situation isn't bothering me anymore even. Now, if I had kept that tinge of jealousy inside, by this time I would have phoned her going nuts with insecurity, which would be completely unfair and disrespectful to her. And if you try the lottery again... Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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