iv.leaf.klover Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Ok so here's the deal. Me and my husband went to the courthouse to get married because of insurance and because we deeply love each other - My witnesses were my Boss and a Co-Worker who I respect. No family and no friends were invited and only my siblings and parents know. The plan was to get married and then have a Re-Do ceremony with ALL the family and friends, so everyone could celebrate with us. My problem is now I'm wondering if this was a bad move. Should be just tell everyone we got married with out them - knowing that it will hurt everyone's feelings that we didn't invite or tell them. Or should we go ahead with the Re-Do and not say a word? I was reading yahoo answers and there are SO many people on there who have extremely strong feelings about this and basically said that it's a lie and would attend one of those weddings/receptions - so now I'm worried that if it does come out that we were previously married that would cause MORE grief than not telling anyone about the wedding and just celebrate together. So I'm really conflicted on my feelings here, also I didn't think it would be such a bad thing otherwise I think we would have waiting.... Although I'm not sure we had a choice as far as medical benefits, etc. So this is why I need opinions and some advice on how to proceed please, and thank you sincerely. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 You dont live for everyone elses fleeting feelings. You HAD to get married, and if you have to do a little white lying to keep from dealing with people who make a big deal out of nothing, then lie to them. If you are a strong person, then you can tell people that its a redo ceremony, and they have to shut up about it. Anyone who makes a big deal about not bieng invited to the original ceremony after they are informed about your situation isnt a real friend. Bottom line. They should understand. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 Why not just throw a reception rather than have another ceremony? Since your very close family like your parents and siblings already know, I think you could do it that way without stepping on important toes. You would just word the invitation like you would for a reception held after an elopement as a way for everyone to celebrate with you. Link to post Share on other sites
elysium23 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 You can still have a re-do AND be honest with your family at the same time. That's what my ex-bf's cousin did. Once his family found out they insisted that he have a traditional wedding, and they did, despite being already married. It worked just fine for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Odd as this may sound a friend of mine had two marriages with the same lady. One a civil one and one a religious ceremony. THe civil one was held at the courthouse as she was to become a citizen here . THen the religious one where friends and family could attend. We didnt feel ousted at all. We were pleased for them and more then happy to welcome their wedded bliss. They are 12 years married. Its really up to the bride and groom in whatever sense a person perceives the actual wedding to be, to decide if its the civil one date or the family gathered date. They celebrate both dates for anniversaries Its rather endearing after all these years.... Link to post Share on other sites
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