Please any advice... I really love my girlfriend and dont wanna lose her...

[serum]

Hi, please please give any advice, i really love my girl & dont wanna lose her.

 

My girlfriend has been very jealous of my past recently. in fact we've been together for a year now, (she's 18, i'm 16 btw) and she's been jealous for about 8 months of that. Thing is, she liked me for about a year before we got together, and in that year i was into partying and casual sex. We were always around each other then but she was more shy and less 'cool' than i was. She let me know she liked me by texting me and we met up and kissed, but i told her i didn't want to see her because she was a virgin and i didnt have sex with those. I know i was an idiot but i got stoned every day and didn't know what i was saying most of the time. I got drunk loads too and had sex with a friend of hers. then later that year i had sex with another of her friends who lied to her about it. everyone knew she liked me, as did i, and i'm afraid to say i basically used her for sex. sure, i thought she was good looking but i didn't believe in love then and i certainly didn't want commitment.

I also asked her friend (one i had had sex with before) if she would give me head, in front of this girl (my now girlfriend) and my other friends. she obliged and we went off openly together. This was a normal day, i wasn't drunk or anything.

last thing: Then i started liking another girl and asked her out. she rejected me. a month later i asked my current girl out and she agreed.

 

Thing is, she asked a LOT of questions in the beginning, things like what position i had sex with the other girls in, was it good, what was she wearing etc. I told her (honesty is best... right? wrong.) and now she brings my past up constantly. she says she can imagine everything that happened, and when i say i genuinely didn't enjoy the other girls, she calls me a liar. she says such mean things to me, and somethimes, if she asks a question and doesn't like what she hears, she'll punch me or scratch my face. i hit back, and sometimes instigate violence but all in all the hurting is pretty equal.

 

anyway i really love her, she's the first girl i ever loved and i honestly want to spend my life with her. i am also completely faithful to her.

[dyermaker]

You: "You are a good girlfriend. You are the person that I chose to be with at this point and time, I neither compare you to my previous girlfriends nor use them as a reference to how to behave in this relationship. You are soley responsible for such comparisons. I cannot function in a relationship with someone so enamored with my past. If you continue to pester me about them, I'm not going to answer. The past is the past, I've been more than open, found that it's counterproductive--and now I'm ceasing discussion of my personal business and ancient history. If you continue to get angry about my list of past girlfriends, I'm adding you to the list--I can't go forward in a relationship if you won't stop looking backward. Additionally, if you are physically violent again, in addition to terminating our relationship, I will file a police report"

 

That's exactly what you need to say. Yes, there's a possibility that you can spend the rest of your life with this girl. But I gaurantee you it's going to be the most miserable possibility you've ever lived through. Additionally, don't ever be violent with her. I wouldn't reccomend staying in this relationship, but if you want to work through it, the above is what you need to say. No questions, no omissions--just say it, and stick to it.

[spencer]

Originally posted by serum

when i say i genuinely didn't enjoy the other girls, she calls me a liar.

 

 

Because no one believes that........ really.

 

 

 

Originally posted by serum

she says such mean things to me, and somethimes, if she asks a question and doesn't like what she hears, she'll punch me or scratch my face. i hit back, and sometimes instigate violence but all in all the hurting is pretty equal

 

stop hitting eachother, and repeat what dyer said