Lipo for bf (sorry posting it twice put it wrong place before)

[The flower girl]

Im so confused right now, everything is going wonderful for me, my BF now of a year has finally agree to move in with me and move and leave his lad life style behind but something is not right.

 

Two weeks ago I had lipo to take me from a size 10 to a size 8, my bf is very shallow and his ex was a model with breast implants and done some nude work, she left him for someone else with more money but her main reason was because he was so controlling. He says this is not true and she had issues.

 

Me and my bf met on the net three years ago when he was going through all this and I was also at the time recoving from my ex finance leaving me for a one night stand who he got pregnant. We became very close in a very fast time and spoke on the phone everyday, after a year we met and he said I was to over weight to consider dating me and i looked better in my photos.

 

I was a size 14 - at the time but I dieted like mad and got to a size 10 for him.

 

about a year later - One night he came to see me and we got drunk and slept together.

 

I thought this ment he was happy with who I was but he kept saying how lovely I was and how perfect apart from my body.

 

We started dating and he then said he would make the comment to move in with me if I had the lipo.

 

Ive now had it done and he's being so loving its like he's now giving me all the love Ive craved and wanted at once and im not sure how to take it. Not only does he want to move in with me but also buy a house with me, not even rent first! Its such a big step and I cant understand why I feel this way.

 

I know he will never be happy until i get my boobs done (im a 38c he wants me to be a DD) and he's offered to pay for this, he says then he will never leave me and can finally say he's in love with me and not just loving me, and i will feel so much better about myself and everyone will look at me. But im not sure i want that because if anyone does look at me now he gets annoyed.

 

 

I used to be so happy and super conferdent before I met him I was a lot bigger! I had men queuing up! I really did have a new date every week! (only a date no sleeping around)! and I was so happy I even done some modelling (face) For a few girls magazines!

 

What am I doing, I know the answer is to leave him but I need him if im going to go to uni this year as I cannot afford the rent if I move out alone.

 

The only other thing is can say is he is very small and is only 7 stone and my height ( 5 5) he says he likes small girls because otherwise it looks silly.

 

Help. Im suddenly thinking of quitting my chance to go to uni and start again, yet as soon as I back off he's lovely to me and when im happy he seems only to point out the negatives.....

 

 

Uni or pride.......?

[jmargel]

Leave him. He's a control freak and his love for you is conditional. Unless he gets therapy it'll only get worse. He'll control every move you make including whether you can goto school or not.

[The flower girl]

well as for uni (school) hes the one who is telling me to go! at first I did not want to go because I did not think i would be good enough! but he told me how good i could be and how i should do somthing I love and i got in!

 

- i would still be in a badly paid job if he had not made me understand how much I can do with my life. Its just a same hes so shallow.

[2SidestoStories]

Nothing you ever do will be "good enough" for this guy. NOTHING.

 

You will grow to resent him for "making you" change yourself.

 

No man (OR woman!) is worth the humiliation this person is putting you through.

 

Leave. Now.

[Cpunch75]

I Ditto that, this guy is extremely shallow and his love for you is conditional. Love is not conditional, love is acceptance. Leave your boobs the way they are, us Loveshackers are perfectly fine with them. Tell him you won't go out with him anymore unless he gets a enlargement done. See how he likes it.

[The flower girl]

lol I told him that ages ago! but he says he makes all the money so its my job to look good! he also does not care what anyone says about him or if he does he does not show it.

 

but everyone is forgeting about uni - if i do not go i will end up in this small town and never get to move away and do my dream......

[Cpunch75]

"but he says he makes all the money so its my job to look good! "

 

No way, your job is to be you, youre not on this earth to please him.

 

 

"he also does not care what anyone says about him or if he does he does not show it. "

 

He does care, why would he insist that you fit the "mold" by having you get lipo suction and breast implants? he's all about image. he's fake.

 

 

 

"but everyone is forgeting about uni - if i do not go i will end up in this small town and never get to move away and do my dream......"

 

Fly fly far away!! go to UNI!! it will change your life.....change your limiting beliefs about yourself. your dream is more important than him.

[End of my rope]

Do you honestly think it's gonna stop with the boob job? As you get older and time takes it's toll you'll be getting tummy tucks and chemical peels and every other cosmetic surgery known to man. Are you willing to turn yourself into a life size plastic doll so he'll love you? You can't make someone love you or be in love with you. They either are or they aren't...it's that simple.

 

Also, big boobs, exspecially the DD's aren't a good thing. You'll have back problems from that, trust me...I KNOW!

 

You need to tell him to kiss off! If he can't love you for who you are then you don't need him because there is someone out there who will. Go to University, live your life and forget about his shallow ass!

[The flower girl]

Not sure if i said this before but I really cant go to uni without him as i cant afford to move away to be in the city the uni is in alone!

 

thats why he wants us to move in together so he can pay for the living costs and i can use the money i have saved to pay for the fees of uni. I can not do both alone.

 

 

so its really a case of if i do not stay with him I will never go to uni.

[spencer]

stand up for yourself and....... just say no! to implants.

he might even gain some respect for you.

 

I personally would be disgusted if someone said i needed cosmetic surgery, and would leave so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.

 

but if you choose to stay and live off him, atleast tell him you will save the boobs for a graduation present.

I doubt you will even care what he wants when your selfesteem is high and you making more money.

[End of my rope]

Originally posted by The flower girl

Not sure if i said this before but I really cant go to uni without him as i cant afford to move away to be in the city the uni is in alone!

 

thats why he wants us to move in together so he can pay for the living costs and i can use the money i have saved to pay for the fees of uni. I can not do both alone.

 

 

so its really a case of if i do not stay with him I will never go to uni.

 

I'm not from England and so I don't know how things are over there...but don't the Universities there have on campus dorms or anything? Or can't you get a job in that city and thru the University find some other girls to room with.

 

I don't want to step on toes or anything...but it sounds to me like you've made your mind up already. You defend your reasons to stay that without him you can't go to the uni...but if you're staying with him only for that reason then he is no more shallow than you and perhaps you make a lovely couple.

[EnigmaXOXO]

We started dating and he then said he would make the comment to move in with me if I had the lipo.

 

Oh no!... you didn't?!

 

Girlfriend, its one thing if you undergo drastic reconstructive surgery for *youself*... but NEVER EVER do it to make some shmuck happy!!

 

No man who would give you ultimatums like this is worth a piss. How dare he expect to whittle you into the likeness of someone else...or his twisted idea of physical perfection. I imagine your surgeon would have run you out of the office if you had told him the REAL reason you checked in during your first consultation!

 

RUN!... as fast as you can to the nearest exit! This a$$ wipe is not worth another scar on your body. Let some other foolish girl deal with this loser...and when his hair starts falling out and his balls start sagging to his knees...let HIM opt for expensive, painful surgery!!

 

Unfortunately, where this jerk is concerned, nothing short of a lobotomy will fix everything that’s wrong with HIM!

[moimeme]

People find ways to go to university without living off some idiot. You can, too, if you try. It sounds like this guy is the easy way out; you wouldn't have to work part-time or anything. Do not do it. You'll be such an emotional mess by the time you've got your degree that you won't be able to do much of anything anyway.

[dyermaker]

I'm quite surprised a university education is part of the ideal woman he's creating.

[The flower girl]

oh gosh!

 

er.......I am not with him for the money, (if that was what i was after i would be dating someone with alot more! lol)( I said from the begining I love him loads thats for the person he is when he is not being shallow)

 

I want to go to uni so i can make the kind of money that would let me be my own person. I want to be a better person and i want to be proud of myself not living off the state and giving up!

 

I would only let him pay for my living costs - nothing more, Im very proud and only do this because i know its somthing I can do to better myself with and he is happy to lend me the money untll i do pass and get a good job!

 

The uni im going to is in London so you can see the prices there are about three times more then they are here in Norwich (Norwich being a much smaller town only known for its football!)

 

Yes I already plan to get a evening job if i go to uni, i would not have it any other way but this still would not cover everything, as geting the tube every day for a year would be 3 grand alone! (season ticket) I have already told my bf i would pay back every penny as well and will take out loan so he does not have to pay for more then needed.

 

Yes there is a campus but there is a rule here that if you dont live more then 200 miles away you can not go unless there is an empty space after all other students have moved in that do live not as close as me, and as i live 159 miles away I can not go.

[brashgal]

I'm with the others. I know you can figure out a way to go to University yourself. This man will control you for the rest of your life if you let him - it looks like self-improvement now but it will feel like a prison later, you aren't going to be allowed to be yourself or think for yourself. He'll dictate what you wear, how you do your hair, where you go, what you do.

 

Of course, if you want someone else running your life, go for it. Just realize you'll have to do everything he wants and there are no guarantees he won't dump you for a 'newer model' later, possibly before you complete University. You have doubts or you wouldn't be here asking the hard questions....

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by The flower girl

I know he will never be happy until i get my boobs done (im a 38c he wants me to be a DD) and he's offered to pay for this, he says then he will never leave me and can finally say he's in love with me and not just loving me, and i will feel so much better about myself and everyone will look at me.

 

Read that again. and again.

 

You may be gorgeous now, but you won't be forever, I gaurantee it. When you stop looking good, he'll stop pretending he loves you. Beat him to it, and end this relationship.

[The flower girl]

Ok thanks for helping everyone this will point me in the right direction I hope :-)