yah Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 When did you and SO start talking about, and making plans for, engagement or marriage? Were promises made and kept? Just wondering if my relationship is the norm.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I'm guilty of getting a little bit obsessed about getting engaged because my now husband put it off for quite a bit. I was ready way before he was, but he kept telling me to be patient, that I wasn't wasting my time. And he was right, he proposed and we got married 3 months ago. I obsessed for nothing! Oh, we got engaged after 2 years, 9 months and a year of living together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yah Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Nice. Congrats! Yeah, after putting over a year in I feel quite invested in this relationship and hope that I'm not thinking too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Nice. Congrats! Yeah, after putting over a year in I feel quite invested in this relationship and hope that I'm not thinking too much. Have you talked about engagement or marriage yet? I would say a year isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, I didn't start panicking until like 2 years because I was worried I would end up like one of those girls who were living with their boyfriend who will not propose to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yah Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 No worries, I'm not currently panicking but I could see myself doing that if it drags on for a very long time. We just talked about it the other night and it went surprisingly well. I thought he'd insist we'd date forever but nope, looks like we have similar goals. While I cannot imagine it happening right now, I def. want to know we're moving at a reasonable pace. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I'm probably a bad example... my husband and I first discussed marriage 3.5 months after we started dating, were engaged 3 months later, and married 5 months after that. Link to post Share on other sites
melodramatic Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Me I'm always asking my boyfriend for 4 years when he's going to ask me? a little embarrassing right coz i'm the girl. yeah well i really wanted to be with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 My husband and I conversed as friends on an almost daily basis for a little over six months, and then had an intense whirlwind LDR for another six months, and then I moved to be with him and we lived together for a couple years. We had talked about marriage and family issues a few times, we thought we'd maybe marry and start trying for a baby another two or three years down the road. Then we accidentally got pregnant, and he asked me to marry him. The first time he asked me I said no, because I thought he was only asking because of the pregnancy, I was worried that he felt pressured because we had planned everything to be on a timeline with at least two years differential. We talked about it another couple times over the next several months, and he swore to me that marrying me was truly what he wanted. We had already made promises to raise our son together, either way. He took me to look at rings, several times, and I caught him researching stones and metals. And then when our beautiful son was a newborn he gave me a ring and asked me to marry him, again. That time I said yes. We married several months later. That's probably not the norm, either. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 11 months. About 3 months into our relationship we started talking about the possibility of marriage sometime in the future. At 6 months we started to get more in depth about marriage related issues like when we wanted to get married, did we want kids, if we have kids would I be a stay at home mother, how we would budget, etc. Still not married yet, but now working on moving in together very soon and we've decided that when my boyfriend turns 21, we'll get engaged and then get married about 6 months to a year later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yah Posted December 28, 2010 Author Share Posted December 28, 2010 Nice to know that discussions were had and followed through. That's certainly good to hear. We're now on track with a timeline that we're both happy about. melo- I hope your wait isn't too long! Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 We got engaged after being together for 2 years. Mostly because we were moving in together and it would keep her traditional asian parents happy. Lived together for 3-4 years after engagement, then got married. We didn't have a time frame in mind, just didn't have a reason to put it off anymore! 2nd anniversary coming up this March. Have you had "the" pre-wedding talk about your expectations on kids, finances, sex etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yah Posted December 29, 2010 Author Share Posted December 29, 2010 Hmm kinda. We've had a series of "serious" talks about our expectations which are similar. I think we're compatible and could see us married one day (not today though). I just really hope that time lines are rarely broken. I'm not sure how common they are so that's why I posted here. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 He told me I was "The One" 6 months after we met. 6 months later, we were talking about when we'd have kids, and what their names would be. 6 months after that, he asked me to "officially move in" and we were discussing ring and wedding budgets, what the ring would look like, where the wedding would be, and even the guest list. We were also shopping for a dog. A month after that, he broke up with me. I can laugh about it now... Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 After a year together we looked at rings. I still can't find anything that is perfect or even that I really really really want. I talk pretty actively about marriage but I'm more concerned about when we start having kids. I could really care less about when we get married as long as babies are in the picture in 2011. ha! Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 We talked about marriage (well, he talked - I made sure not to put any pressure) for well over 3 years before he finaly proposed. I remember after 2 years together (and we were already living together at this point) he told me he was going to ask me to marry him "soon". He waited another 2 years before going for it, lol. I guess that's probably not the norm either, but I think his timing was right and I don't think it could have been more perfect! YAY Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 We talked about it in general from the very beginning. I didn't want to waste time dating a guy who was not on the same page as me regarding marriage. We started talking about us getting married about three months into the relationship. We got engaged this past October, a year after we started dating. We've always been on the same page with this stuff and I can't wait to marry him. Link to post Share on other sites
SophieA Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 (edited) My fiance and I dated 6 and a 1/2 years before he proposed. We've been engaged now for 6 months and haven't started wedding planning yet. He's in med school and I'm in no rush to plan a wedding. It'll happen when it happens. Edit: I just realized it sounds like I'm not excited. LOL. That is NOT the case. I am very much in love with him and very excited to get married. I just know we're both busy with school right now and it will be a loooong engagement. Edited January 6, 2011 by SophieA Link to post Share on other sites
Hazel_eyes Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I'm probably not a normal example, but both me and my husband were people that were serious daters and were dating in an effort to find a spouse. If I was with a guy and it was apparent he was someone I couldn't be with forever then I broke up. I can't explain it other then when I met my husband I just knew I was going to be with him forever, something I had never felt about anyone. He apparently felt the same way. We were talking about marriage a month after dating, got engaged 3 months later, and married 5 months after that. We've been together for 3 years now and I still have no doubt in my mind that there is no one out there as perfect for me as my husband! Link to post Share on other sites
SaraSmile90210 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 My boyfriend says the same thing. We have been together almost 2.5 years and have been living together for almost 1.5 years. Your post made me feel good. I see all my friends getting engaged so fast and I'm feeling left out. I know he hasn't done it yet because he is still working on becoming financially stable. But sometimes it's tough especially when I look at my facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
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