BB07 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I have never been in "offense" of Anne nor did I think she has been cruel or mean. She took offense at my post and we have been engaging since. I have asked for her story, explain her side, etc. The definition of this forum is for support and discussion of the OP for those who find themselves in a relationship with a committed person. So that is the crux of my statement and musing on why else one would be here if they do not follow into the above. Did you know she is a former AP? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The definition of this forum is for support and discussion of the OP for who find themselves in a relationship with a committed person. LOL. This is some serious word salad. "of the OP for who find". Just picking. I understand what you are saying. I think the forum is for the support and/OR discussion of affairs WITH those that happen to be in relationships with committed people. How's my word salad? LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 Anyway, as I said in my other post, celebrating your moments of love that are taking place under the cover of lying is going to be a huge button pusher for many folks, for many different reasons. They are likely to pipe in with their opinions. Just so we’re clear: what you’re saying is that “people can’t help themselves” BUT to respond to a thread like this, right? Or am I wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
SidLyon Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 ...Why would one be on an OW/OM board otherwise? What would be the interest if one is not in an affair, was in an affair, or is condoning affairs but for the above? To show others the error of their ways? Morbid curiosity? ... ... enlighten me and explain why one would be here if they do not fall into the above categories? Why are you here? Why would someone be interested in EMRs, OW/OM, etc if they have not had anything to do with affairs, do not think critically of them and do not condone them? What is the interest? ... if you (general you) are not here to SUPPORT the OW/OM why are you here? ... To answer your questions for myself, I'm BW who has an interest in affairs because my H had one with an OW. I'm here for the discussion side of this forum. Just so we’re clear: what you’re saying is that “people can’t help themselves” BUT to respond to a thread like this, right? Or am I wrong? I have no idea what you mean by this statement, but certainly I am in control of what and where I decide to post. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I have never been in "offense" of Anne nor did I think she has been cruel or mean. She took offense to my post and we have been engaging since. I have asked for her story, explain her side, etc. The definition of this forum is for support and discussion of the OP for those who find themselves in a relationship with a committed person. So that is the crux of my statement and musing on why else one would be here if they do not follow into the above. You see - that's the point. I don't have a "side". I don't see things from just one perspective. As a former WS, I was the bad guy as such, not my H or the ex-OM. I am not pro OW/OM and I am not pro BS. I am just pro respect for all and a lack of what I see as name calling (or needing to explain why I choose to post on a public forum) Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Just so we’re clear: what you’re saying is that “people can’t help themselves” BUT to respond to a thread like this, right? Or am I wrong? You're wrong, at least as far as I'm concerned. I believe that people are in control of their actions (unless they have Tourette Syndrome or something); I certainly am. I think I was clear already, but I'll re-clarify: People on this forum, as on the others here on this site, will respond when they are moved to do so. Since extramarital affairs are a very hot button for many people, it's no surprise that lots of folks choose to pipe in here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 So ladies and gents - those who find themselves "involved with a committed partner" - name one thing you absolutely adore about your partner! I love how we both make an effort to make each other's day brighter. Sometimes he puts in more of an effort, sometimes I do, depending on the day. Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Or depending, perhaps, on whether or not his wife is in proximity of the covert phone conversation. Not the kind of life I would enjoy, but to each his/her own. *shrug**shrug* I give her mad props for trying to keep her thread on topic though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 So ladies and gents - those who find themselves "involved with a committed partner" - name one thing you absolutely adore about your partner. I love how he views my faults as "endearing". Link to post Share on other sites
JsSweetPea Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I love that we can have a blast whether it's lunch at Taco Bell or a short day trip. I love how funny he is. I love how his british accent comes out & when I call him on it he gets embarrassed. I love how he's honest with me, even if it makes me upset. I love knowing that he loves me. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Got It I just object to the way you stereotype groups of posters as "attacking", "working through problems" or suffering from "morbid curiousity". I am not taking it personally because you do in fact appear to be criticising anybody who is not an OW or does not agree with your viewpoint. I personally would hate to be so rigid and narrow minded in outlook. OMG! Then you are not a BS?! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 OMG! Then you are not a BS?! Oh how funny and witty you are GEL Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 So ladies and gents - those who find themselves "involved with a committed partner" - name one thing you absolutely adore about your partner (no BS or individuals who have never experienced being in an A please). Getting back to the OP: I will answer as I am involved with a committed partner, he's just committed to me... There are many things I love about him but I would have to say that the thing I adore about my H most is that he can make me laugh no matter how sad or mad I am and when he kisses me all the clouds are chased away... GEL Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Anne - No, I did not say that. I questioned if that was why and I asked you why you are here. I did not definitively that is why you are here. Nor did I say that only an OP have anything worthy to say. You are taking it much too personally when what I said was posted in general. I specifically said that I did not know why you were here. I also acknowledged that I could be wrong in my opinion on it as well. I would suggest rereading and not taking it so personally. As I stated, I do not know why you are here, I do not know your back history, etc. I was speaking in general and the threads and comments to threads that I have read here over the past couple years. But I have not followed any particular person's story. So if I am wrong, instead of acting aghast and indignant, why don't you enlighten me? Hi Got it...it's called gaslighting and twisting your words until they are hardly recognizable. Actually I have wondered myself what the purpose is for some of the posters on this forum,...oh wait, it's to get threads closed down and deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Hi Got it...it's called gaslighting and twisting your words until they are hardly recognizable. Actually I have wondered myself what the purpose is for some of the posters on this forum,...oh wait, it's to get threads closed down and deleted. And be rude and obnoxious to posters who don't go along with the "agenda"... Link to post Share on other sites
phillyfan Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I have to admit, I am disappointed with the last response. Even cleverly worded, unless the poster offers a personal experience, I believe they are part of the "BS or individuals who have never experienced being in an A" crowd. Geez lady lighten up its whats known as 'a joke' :D Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Pretty twisted, yeah? Methinks something ain't right in Affairyland... Affairyland .. Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Dude seriously I come here cause the stories are crayzee, like, theres this small group of people that r bangin married people and think its kinda normal, and they act like its a regular thing and say stuff like 'oh yea hes so great, we r so in love etc but only problem I havnt seen him for thanksgivin hes in counselin his wife is a 2ft demonic troll he will have to pay $100000000000 if he divorces her so he has to stay' but theres the rest of us readin and sayin holy crap WTF, u did what?! he did what?! LOL Its kinda like a slow train wreck in parts but u cant take ur eyes off But serious, too, u dont want someone f*ckd ova and it is nice sometime 2 giv a playas perspectiv n let a girl know wen shes bein playd so she dont waste her time. Are you saying this is a walking talking Illicit novel .. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 I love that we can have a blast whether it's lunch at Taco Bell or a short day trip. I love how funny he is. I love how his british accent comes out & when I call him on it he gets embarrassed. I love how he's honest with me, even if it makes me upset. I love knowing that he loves me. Awww JSP - I love knowing mine loves me too!!! On this forum we continuously see commentary about "all A's are the same" (MM are cake eaters, OW are pieces of @ss to them, A's are just about sex, the love can never be real...and my favorite: it's a fantasy). And yet, there are those who get their panties twisted in a bunch because SOME of us can point out beautiful, wonderful, amazing things our partners bring into our lives (and vice versa!). By reading what we write, the positive aspects, the good things, it must really mess with their black and white worldview. As in, you mean my WS could have actually LOVED his/her AP? They actually had FUN and it wasn't just-about-sex? REAL emotions were involved? He/she did regular normal everyday things with their AP.....regular normal everyday things he did with meeeee??? Whaaaaat?!?! Hate to burst their "A's are all about clothes-ripping hormonal/lust/sex-fueled fantasy" (not saying some aren't!), but not all are. P.S. Your avatar pic, I take it that's a nod to your love? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 I hope you keep writing. It's amusing. When MM throws you under the bus you'll have a place to wax poetic over the memories. I shall. But this is what I mean about B&W thinking. Who's to say he'll throw me under a bus? Who's to say plans aren't being made for things to change? Who's to say I won't be the one to walk away? NOBODY really knows any of these things. Unless you have a crystal ball that says the only outcome is the one you predicted? (if so, there are some stock picks I'd like you to check!) Link to post Share on other sites
TinaniT Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Although, he has left and now we are committed to each other, a previous post mentioned the idea that affairs are all sex, stolen seconds, etc. Ours, for the short duration it lasted, was certainly not like that. We spent a lot of time together, and most of it not in bed. We went grocery shopping together, we went to movies, we went to restaurants, we went to the park, he made me dinner at his place (his place by himself, not the residence he shared with his ex.) We talked, and talked, and talked. It was mostly like any other relationship. Not that the sex wasn't great Link to post Share on other sites
Ellin Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Dude seriously I come here cause the stories are crayzee, like, theres this small group of people that r bangin married people and think its kinda normal, and they act like its a regular thing and say stuff like 'oh yea hes so great, we r so in love etc but only problem I havnt seen him for thanksgivin hes in counselin his wife is a 2ft demonic troll he will have to pay $100000000000 if he divorces her so he has to stay' but theres the rest of us readin and sayin holy crap WTF, u did what?! he did what?! LOL Its kinda like a slow train wreck in parts but u cant take ur eyes off But serious, too, u dont want someone f*ckd ova and it is nice sometime 2 giv a playas perspectiv n let a girl know wen shes bein playd so she dont waste her time. At least you're honest and admit you're here for entertainment, of the kind like people in ancient Rome watched others being killed on stage. Most cannot bring themselves to show such transparency and insist they are here for a good cause. Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Oh how funny and witty you are GEL Really, IMHO bitter and angry are not the emotions of the betrayed. It shows in more OW/OM posts than i have personally ever seen in the betrayed. Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 (edited) At least you're honest and admit you're here for entertainment, of the kind like people in ancient Rome watched others being killed on stage. Most cannot bring themselves to show such transparency and insist they are here for a good cause. I would hope my words do help steer someone away from the pain an affair causes innocent people. But, the number one reason I started posting did have a lot to do with entertainment value. Shrug!!!! As for how she made me feel... how about sick about myself. Edited January 24, 2011 by thomasb Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyblue Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Really, IMHO bitter and angry are not the emotions of the betrayed. It shows in more OW/OM posts than i have personally ever seen in the betrayed. I hope with time I will be able to heal and forgive myself, and move on. <sigh> I was almost 3 years in the A. I hope it doesn't take 3 years to recover. But right now it feels like it might. Link to post Share on other sites
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