OWoman Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I wasnt counting the first year that he lied to her about being single. Opinions may vary, but I dont believe it can be called a real relationship when one isn't even aware of their paramour's marital status. GEL is quite capable of speaking for herself, so I won't attempt to defend her or her R here, besides stating that it's quite clear to anyone watching that it's pretty solid. Oh, I wasn't referring to her or any feelings one might have had. I was referring to the tastelessness of the comment. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Thank god taste differs, then... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I wasnt counting the first year that he lied to her about being single. Opinions may vary, but I dont believe it can be called a real relationship when one isn't even aware of their paramour's marital status.Oh, I wasn't referring to her or any feelings one might have had. I was referring to the tastelessness of the comment. You always have to consider the source of the argument. Have I told you lately I think you totally rock as a person! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Sounds like LOTS of fun to be an AP. It was - that's why I repeated at leisure (And - no fun was ever had at my expense. I was the one having the fun... but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves too, so I doubt I was the only one) Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Thank god taste differs, then... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:Were you not just complaining on another thread about name-calling? Yet, here you are with the acrimony. The pot/kettle phrase comes to mind... Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) Edited...... Edited January 26, 2011 by jthorne Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 It was - that's why I repeated at leisure (And - no fun was ever had at my expense. I was the one having the fun... but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves too, so I doubt I was the only one) You're right. You were always the one in charge, and more power to ya. However, sadly, you and I know that's VERY rarely the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 Question to the "unapologetic" other women here: If you discovered that the man you're involved with was having a covert relationship with an additional paramour besides you and his wife, would you extend the same respect for the nature of that relationship that you expect in yours? Are you sure you would not find some "bitterness" in yourselves? I'm not quite sure why people find "unapologetic" OWs so offensive. As long as a situation keeps me happy, then I will continue to engage in it. If it no longer makes me happy it will be MY CHOICE to leave. ANGER at the dishonesty will certainly occur - but there is nothing to be "bitter" about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 I guess with each new person they meet. The new infatuation stage trumps the last one. Sad really. You DO understand not ALL men are serial cheaters, right? And there are plenty of men out there who get D'd in order to be with their new love (even if they initially got together while still M'd)? Link to post Share on other sites
jthorne Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 And there are plenty of men out there who get D'd in order to be with their new love (even if they initially got together while still M'd)?New? How can the love be a "new" love when the MM makes the OW wait years and years and years? Haven't you been waiting three or four years now? Sorry, but I find the MM who is so disrespectful as to keep separate relationships with two women going for years and years just as bad or worse than a serial cheater. JMO obviously. Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I am no longer an OW, but I was unapologetic when I was, and still am unapologetic, so I'm not sure if this question extends to me. If any of my MMs had had OOWs, I would not have been fazed. I was not sexually exclusive with them, so would not have demanded that they be sexually exclusive with me - that would be hypocritical! But I was honest with them in that they knew I had other lovers beside them. Were I to have discovered that they were not honest with me about other lovers besides myself, that would have transgressed the terms of the agreement, and they'd have been dumped instantly. It would have had nothing to do with the OOW - it would have had to do with their breach of honesty. You remain an unapologetic other woman. Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I'm not quite sure why people find "unapologetic" OWs so offensive. As long as a situation keeps me happy, then I will continue to engage in it. If it no longer makes me happy it will be MY CHOICE to leave. ANGER at the dishonesty will certainly occur - but there is nothing to be "bitter" about. It's the selfish "unapologetic" act itself and while hurting others. Others lives are sacrificed whether they are aware of the A or not. And this thread is proof of the blatent flaunting (laughing) while reflecting on the act. Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 [quote=OWoman; :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Thank god taste differs, then... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Taste may vary according to the individual in question. Tasteless attitudes and comments however never do... Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) I'm not quite sure why people find "unapologetic" OWs so offensive. As long as a situation keeps me happy, then I will continue to engage in it. If it no longer makes me happy it will be MY CHOICE to leave. ANGER at the dishonesty will certainly occur - but there is nothing to be "bitter" about. Anger and bitterness often go together. Hopefully a person gets past both of those emotions and moves on to a healthier place but for you to tell someone they shouldn't feel bitter is terribly assumptive, in fact it's quite laughable. It's a stage.......part of all the crap that goes with a breakup regardless if you are the one who walks away or you get dumped. In my situation.........I've felt incredibly bitter at times, but I realize to hang on to it is destructive but hey I felt it but feeling it and hanging on to it are two different things. Edited January 26, 2011 by BB07 Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I'm not quite sure why people find "unapologetic" OWs so offensive. As long as a situation keeps me happy, then I will continue to engage in it. If it no longer makes me happy it will be MY CHOICE to leave. ANGER at the dishonesty will certainly occur - but there is nothing to be "bitter" about. People find it offensive because your so-called 'happiness' is coming at the expense of others. And you are laughing inwardly about it and admitting you could care less as long as your needs are being met. Very unchristian attitude to have might I add. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I'm not quite sure why people find "unapologetic" OWs so offensive. As long as a situation keeps me happy, then I will continue to engage in it. If it no longer makes me happy it will be MY CHOICE to leave. ANGER at the dishonesty will certainly occur - but there is nothing to be "bitter" about. People are understandably offended when they encounter someone who pursues a course of action with absolutely no care or concern about the damage done to others in the pursuit of that course of action. People find intense self-centeredness and self-focus at the expense of others distasteful. And it should hardly be surprsing that people who have been on the recieving end of that "expense" would be more offended/'bitter' about encountering it. Why would this be a shock? Do you truly expect a different response? Link to post Share on other sites
Ellin Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 The fun is being had by the WS at the expense of both women. Possibly in some cases, but any MM who has normal human feelings and conscience also goes through some emotional turmoil. He might feel torn, if he develops feelings for OW, guilty towards W, stressed and unable to make a decision and stick to it. Not such a fun place to be. I don't believe that all MM are unfeeling psychopats. In most cases, when D day occurs, the WS is begging for the BS to take him/her back. Sounds like LOTS of fun to be an AP. Oh the joys of being a BS. Nevermind your H spends intimate moments with another woman when you are told he's at work - he comes back to you in the end! (Ermm, no, thank you.) Link to post Share on other sites
Ellin Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 People are understandably offended when they encounter someone who pursues a course of action with absolutely no care or concern about the damage done to others in the pursuit of that course of action. People find intense self-centeredness and self-focus at the expense of others distasteful. And it should hardly be surprsing that people who have been on the recieving end of that "expense" would be more offended/'bitter' about encountering it. Why would this be a shock? Do you truly expect a different response? Then why spend so much time hanging around some place where you feel perpetually offended?? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Then why spend so much time hanging around some place where you feel perpetually offended?? Good point. The reality is that there are few "unapologetic" OW that post here. Most newcomers come here seeking advice on how to solve their situation. They're here to change their situation in some fashion, or seeking knowledge or advice in some aspect of what they're dealing with. The "unapologetic" ones typically aren't feeling much conflict...they have no problems to solve. They're not seeking advice or support, only validation. So I tend not to post much to them. I DO post to the ones who actually come here seeking advice/support for the situation that they're in. So to answer your question...I come here to post advice/support to those that need it, don't most of us? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Possibly in some cases, but any MM who has normal human feelings and conscience also goes through some emotional turmoil. He might feel torn, if he develops feelings for OW, guilty towards W, stressed and unable to make a decision and stick to it. Not such a fun place to be. I don't believe that all MM are unfeeling psychopats.Sorry, but IMO those MM/MW who keep their AP dangling for year after year after year after year after year (and they are numerous on LS) are VERY "unfeeling." Oh the joys of being a BS.Fortunately, I'm not one. Nevermind your H spends intimate moments with another woman when you are told he's at work - he comes back to you in the end! (Ermm, no, thank you.)Not my man. Never has. Never will. Most BS's don't know they're in that situation with their "partner" (and I use the term loosely). The OW/OM, however... Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Possibly in some cases, but any MM who has normal human feelings and conscience also goes through some emotional turmoil. He might feel torn, if he develops feelings for OW, guilty towards W, stressed and unable to make a decision and stick to it. Not such a fun place to be. I don't believe that all MM are unfeeling psychopats. Oh the joys of being a BS. Nevermind your H spends intimate moments with another woman when you are told he's at work - he comes back to you in the end! (Ermm, no, thank you.) Doesn't sound to me like Owl was the one offended. Look in a mirror sometime. The finger your pointing is pointing four back at ya! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 Haven't you been waiting three or four years now? No. I don't know why you're assuming all these things about me? What you DO know is this: I started a thread asking those who are "involved with a committed partner" to tell us something they love about their partner. What I'm getting from the responses is this: Having happy, wonderful, amazing moments with those we love is somehow is an affront to some. Not quite sure why, since my attitude is Happy People are happy for others! Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 No. I don't know why you're assuming all these things about me? What you DO know is this: I started a thread asking those who are "involved with a committed partner" to tell us something they love about their partner. What I'm getting from the responses is this: Having happy, wonderful, amazing moments with those we love is somehow is an affront to some. Not quite sure why, since my attitude is Happy People are happy for others! What I'm getting from your thread is the flaunting of instances, which are harmful to the originals in these marriages. And not really having to do with 'love'. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Not quite sure why, since my attitude is Happy People are happy for others! How can you expect everyone to be happy about your happiness...when they know that your happiness is going to come at someone else's sorrow? Why do you expect everyone to be happy for you, and for him, knowing that it's going to/maybe already has come at a great emotional devestation to his wife and potential family turmoil for his children? Affront at the concept of happiness as a result of someone else's emotional devestation is hardly surprising...why does it surprise you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngeletteX Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 Anger and bitterness often go together. Hopefully a person gets past both of those emotions and moves on to a healthier place but for you to tell someone they shouldn't feel bitter is terribly assumptive, in fact it's quite laughable. It's a stage.......part of all the crap that goes with a breakup regardless if you are the one who walks away or you get dumped. In my situation.........I've felt incredibly bitter at times, but I realize to hang on to it is destructive but hey I felt it but feeling it and hanging on to it are two different things. I agree, everything happens in stages. But I think bitterness follows the anger and it's from not being able to let the anger go. I'm glad you''ve decided that hanging on to such an emotion is destructive - and happy that you have DECIDED (key word) not to become mired in it! Imagine what sort of person you might have become had you wallowed in it....for years..... Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Happy people are happy for people who aren't stomping on others to get theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
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