Things at work are worse than ever

[OceanGirl]

I only post from my iphone at work and don't use their internet connection.

 

Maybe I should start looking for other jobs from my work computer then, extra income in the meantime will help

 

I strongly believe that my boss has been quiet because he is looking for a way or a good angle to fire me. Perhaps I am naive, but given that he has given me excellent 6 monthly performance appraisals through the 5 years I have worked there it may be hard to do the bad performance angle (for now). He may also be worried because I have already complained about him to his boss etc. He doesn't want this to look bad for him.

 

He wants to get rid of me but is stuck on how to go about it hence his silence. That's my read of the situation.

[Art_Critic]

Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you right now.. you had him called out on the carpet by his boss and maybe he is still pissed about it.

 

Not saying that is it or that it is professional but you have said he is emotional.

[Surrealist]

If your boss, just saying 'if' your boss is not responding to your emails and it is work related, he may well be the one at fault here and subject to being reprimanded. A personal gripe against you is not a valid reason to compromise on the job. Now I understand it may have nothing to do with that, but just saying if it does.

[OceanGirl]

If your boss, just saying 'if' your boss is not responding to your emails and it is work related, he may well be the one at fault here and subject to being reprimanded. A personal gripe against you is not a valid reason to compromise on the job. Now I understand it may have nothing to do with that, but just saying if it does.

 

They are all brief and work related. He is not responding and there are clear, fairly urgent work related questions in them. E-mails are not personal in any way.

 

He has been fairly non-responsive in the last few months but not as bad as to ignore urgent questions like he is doing now.

 

Previous to the last few months, he would respond to every e-mail within hours (that went on for almost 5 years).

 

So yeah, something is wrong.

[anne1707]

OG

 

If you quit, all you are going to do is make if far harder for you to get a job elsewhere. You just have to quietly get on with your job whilst looking for something else.

 

Don't give your boss any more ammunition to use against you. Use the Christmas break tou have a think about how your behaviour and performance may be perceived by others. Are there some improvements you can make? If so, do it! Even things like the LS posting if at work - it may well be done using your phone but that is still time when you should be working and things like that do get noticed.

[OceanGirl]

Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you right now.. you had him called out on the carpet by his boss and maybe he is still pissed about it.

 

Not saying that is it or that it is professional but you have said he is emotional.

 

 

This could be a possibility... To give you an idea of how emotional he is, I asked him to do a Myer Briggs test ages ago and he scored the same on feelings vs thinking scale as me. And I am pretty much off the chart emotional.

 

I have seen him cry at work a number of times.

[OceanGirl]

OG

 

If you quit, all you are going to do is make if far harder for you to get a job elsewhere. You just have to quietly get on with your job whilst looking for something else.

 

Don't give your boss any more ammunition to use against you. Use the Christmas break tou have a think about how your behaviour and performance may be perceived by others. Are there some improvements you can make? If so, do it! Even things like the LS posting if at work - it may well be done using your phone but that is still time when you should be working and things like that do get noticed.

 

 

You may have a point, my performance could have definitely been better.

 

I just feel that he is handling this in a passive aggressive way rather than discussing those issues openly (if they are indeed issues). As a manager he should be more professional than just to ignore me WTF.

[fltc]

Confronting my boss has turned out to be a major mistake.

 

He has since been totally avoiding me. He hasn't replied to 5 of my work e-mails (sending him some stuff to look over, asking about when to take leave etc). We also haven't had a single meeting.

 

I have also heard that my team went on an outing and I wasn't invited.

 

He has been gossiping about me (he is huge gossip and can't hold back with talking s$it about people). I am 100% sure about this as this woman from another department came up to me and said "I can be your pressure release if you need to talk or feel stressed. You don't have to use your boss as a pressure release". I mean WTF. Why did this women say that at this particular time? She must have heard something and I sure didn't talk about this issue to anyone at work.

 

I am now convinced that he is biding his time before he fires me.

 

Going into holidays with this hanging over my head feels horrible. It's now 4am and I can't sleep.

 

I was naive to think that I can fight for some kind of fairness. Nothing in life is fair.

 

I recently bought a house and have a huge mortgage plus both of my parents are ill and me and my brother are supporting them.

 

Stupid, stupid me for not staying quiet.

 

Earlier you said, " It's time to start looking for a new job. I have basically resigned myself to losing this job before I started with this.

The problem is, if I just remove myself from the situation - it will be great for them and my boss will just continue to treat other people this way.

I know that I will lose the war, but if he has to deal with formal complaints - it will cause him some hassle at least. It may make him think twice in the future."

 

So you knew this would be the result, right?

 

Sorry you're having regrets but you went into this with your eyes wide open.

 

Hope it works out for the best...

[Mme. Chaucer]

During your holiday, try to settle down and get clarity about what you REALLY would prefer: keep this job? Or, move on?

 

Then, think about the things YOU can do to facilitate getting what you want to work out and to progress as successfully as possible. This needs to be stuff pertaining to only YOU; things YOU can do and that do not depend upon other people.

 

If you do a good job of making some measured determinations about these things, then promise to yourself that you will not let your mood swings derail you. Keep them as a firm rudder no matter how your "feelings" vacillate.

 

Your feelings are real, of course, but they are feelings and they need to not dominate every aspect of your life, especially since they are so inconsistent.

[OceanGirl]

What happened to what you wrote few weeks ago:

 

It's uncertainty that bothers me the most. If I just got fired right now, I could deal with that. I just want to KNOW what's going on. I have no idea if my boss is pissed at me, trying to fire me, just busy with other stuff and I am at the bottom of a priority list or what. It's also the frustration of not being able to get on with the job because he is not responding to anything.

 

I also don't want to work harder at this job if being fired is already on the cards and I am being treated with complete disrespect

[OceanGirl]

I have a family of saints.

 

They have all told me that they are fully behind me if I decide to quit. Mum, dad and brother have said that my physical and emotional health and happiness comes above money

[Template]

 

I also don't want to work harder at this job if being fired is already on the cards and I am being treated with complete disrespect

 

I can certainly see how you are taking this attitude, with just by how your posts are going, however, how is this going to help your case any at all? For instance, say you want to apply for a position at another department, OR in the process of a another job; are asked for references. You may not use your boss, and you may use some "friends" at work. However, when asked "How was her performance at work?", nobody is going to say, "Well, if she didn't work for <xxx>, she would be great".

 

You have to take pride and perform to the best of your ability, not for any employer, but for yourself. An the end of the day, what is the one positive do you look forward to? Right NOW, it's the only thing you can control, and you are making the conscious effort to give them a reason to fire you, thus fueling your own fears of being fired.

 

Lastly, it's clear you are unhappy there - doesn't matter the reason. If you have the capability of leaving today (family support), I say go for it. Really ask yourself what's stopping you? If there's nothing positive to build and work on, while, (if not to improving the situation) trying to find another job, all that drama isn't worth the hassle IMO.

[denise_xo]

I think research has shown that it's easier to find a job if you're working rather than out of work - so it might pay off to stick it out until you find something better. In any case, good luck.

[Star Gazer]

I think research has shown that it's easier to find a job if you're working rather than out of work - so it might pay off to stick it out until you find something better. In any case, good luck.

 

This is true, and Anne is also right.

 

If you quit, you'll make it much harder for yourself to find a replacement gig.

 

Keep working while quietly looking elsewhere. It'll feel that much better to quit when you already have another job lined up. Don't rely on your family as a parachute until/unless you need it (are fired).

[Lauriebell82]

I think research has shown that it's easier to find a job if you're working rather than out of work - so it might pay off to stick it out until you find something better. In any case, good luck.

 

YES. It is much easier to find a job when you already have one. Stick it out and actively look for a job while you wait.