stoupe Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 During the past 5 months I’ve walked past or seen this girl about 20 times on my college campus. At first, she would always be walking with this guy and it seemed as though they were sharing a lot of laughs and having a good time. Also, I saw the guy waiting for her outside of her class; so I assumed she was with him. But recently I found out he isn’t with her; I saw him intimate with another girl. So now I believe she may be available. During all of our brief encounters we have reciprocated ‘hey’ to each other. Today, she is coming towards me, down this long sidewalk. She acknowledges me and starts preening herself. All day it has been lightly raining and she is coming back from some PE class. So when she sees me, she immediately takes her hood off and starts smoothing her hair out. We get into speaking range and before I can say anything, she says ‘hey’ and I say ‘hey’ back. Today is the first day she ever said ‘hey’ first. And just going with what I’ve observed and my feeling, I believe that she is interested in me. So I want to let her know I’m interested in her. But there’s one problem: I don’t know how to tell her I want to take her out and get to know her. I don’t know what to say. I have no skills on the basic formalities of meeting someone. I have no idea how to walk up to this stranger and start talking to her. I just want any advice so I can funnel it with what I believe and develop some sort of a strategy. Thank you for reading. I really appreciate any suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
fadi20 Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Good challenge in your life. Now it is your turn to do your best. Be friendly as much as you can. Also act the way she acts with you. And the most important things you should consider in your relationship are:- Try to get answers for your feelings toward her. Like is she really interested in me??? Why?? Am I interested in her?? and Why?? Try not to ask her direct questions but indirect. Like what make some persons be interested in others? Believe me when get answers for your feelings toward each other. Everything will go smoothly. And all the strategies and diplomacy you want to learn you will see that you have acquired it. GOOD Challenge. Take care Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Hi I just wanted to let you know that there is no skill required to do these things. My brother had trouble like you when he was younger. I coached him and now he is a pro at approaching women. What I suggested for him may work for you. Basically you have to stop her on the street when you see her next time and ask her to go have a cup of coffee with you or something. I would not go into the I like you want to take you out kind of thing. If she is on her way to class and can't go with immediately then ask her "what time is good for you". It is like two sentences and not that hard to say. Just be natural. Oh and practice in front of a mirror. That helped me before I went to do my first trial as a young lawyer. So remember all you have to do is stop in front of her... say hi how are you? Shell say fine? I would really like to go have a drink with you? Are you busy? If she is then ask her when is a good time. Really easy and you don't have to say much. Keep the first conversation light. At the end of the date ask her if she would be free to go out with you on the weekend. Ok... Dont mention any stuff like I lke you etc. etc... Oh and by the way... There were a few guys in my college who went on for years passing me by like that and saying hi. It was obvious that they liked me. Some of them were really cute and I was always frustrated that they would not get the nerve up to ask me out. So go for it...... Life is short...... If she is that cute... someone may beat you to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stoupe Posted March 16, 2004 Author Share Posted March 16, 2004 Originally posted by overseas2004 Hi I just wanted to let you know that there is no skill required to do these things. My brother had trouble like you when he was younger. I coached him and now he is a pro at approaching women. What I suggested for him may work for you. Basically you have to stop her on the street when you see her next time and ask her to go have a cup of coffee with you or something. I would not go into the I like you want to take you out kind of thing. If she is on her way to class and can't go with immediately then ask her "what time is good for you". It is like two sentences and not that hard to say. Just be natural. Oh and practice in front of a mirror. That helped me before I went to do my first trial as a young lawyer. So remember all you have to do is stop in front of her... say hi how are you? Shell say fine? I would really like to go have a drink with you? Are you busy? If she is then ask her when is a good time. Really easy and you don't have to say much. Keep the first conversation light. At the end of the date ask her if she would be free to go out with you on the weekend. Ok... Dont mention any stuff like I lke you etc. etc... Oh and by the way... There were a few guys in my college who went on for years passing me by like that and saying hi. It was obvious that they liked me. Some of them were really cute and I was always frustrated that they would not get the nerve up to ask me out. So go for it...... Life is short...... If she is that cute... someone may beat you to it. Ok overseas2004, the next time I see her I want to tell her something like, “Hey, I would really like to take you out to lunch or something. Really anything, can we go for a walk?” I’m not going to directly say I want you, I think you’re amazing, because that would seem rather weird since I don’t know her and I am basing my feelings for her on what I have seen. I’m interested in her because she looks so sweet, she walks with such finesse, and her smile is so arresting. Overall I just see a sweet girl even though none of my assumptions are supported with moral evidence. It’s all esthetic. I mean I walk up to her and say “how are you doing.” She says, “fine.” Then how do I abruptly say, “I would like to take you out to lunch.” How do I say that without telling her my name? I mean, will she not wonder why I haven’t asked to take her out the other 20 times I saw her. Maybe I’m wrong but wouldn’t the truth be the best thing to say. Shouldn’t I just tell her the truth? Shouldn’t I tell her: I’ve always admired you and I wanted to take you to lunch earlier but I thought you were with that other guy? I believe that if I asked her out to lunch she would obviously know that I like her. So why be evasive. Why deny it. It seems as though I always make things harder than they are. Today I had to speak in front of my spanish class in spanish. Quite a daunting task for everyone. Everyone was nervous. And before my turn, I was building it up in my head like it was the end of the world. Then when I speak, I completely killed it. Before it was my turn, when I was talking to myself in my head, I was nervous. But when I had the floor the nervousness disappeared, pretty ironic. It seems as if I distort my thinking in an all or nothing fashion. I know it won't be the end of the world if I screw up but it's a lot different when you're in the moment. All the practice in the world means nothing if you can't execute in the game. This may help you give me better advice. Just tell me what you think. I really appreciate all you guy’s help. Thanks again. Best wishes, stoupe Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 Ok listen trust me when I tell you this. No one likes to be bombarded by someone elses feelings in teh beggining. Women like men who are a bit mysterious. I don't think you should come out with the way you feel. I think you should be really casual and walk up to her. Ok maybe it would be good to introduce yourself and ask her what her name is? And then just ask her if you can take her and her beautiful smile to lunch. Ok... If you try to say all the stuff you are thinking you are going to blow it. I would be way more nervous having to tell a complete stranger that I like them and think they are cute and sweet etc.... That is my opinion any way. And also (and maybe this is just me) but sometimes if I felt I had a guy in my pocket from the outset then I did not really like him as much. That may just be me, but a little mystery in teh beggining helps the sparks fly. So she will know you are interested in her. She just wont know for what? OK you understand. Tell me what happens.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author stoupe Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 Originally posted by overseas2004 Tell me what happens.... no doubt, i definitely will. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 I'd inject a bit of subtle humour into the next encounter; stop her before you pass by each other and say something like, "you know, I've never said hi to somebody so many times without at least finding out their name... I'm ____." The rest is up to you, but voila... you've got your intro. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stoupe Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 I'd inject a bit of subtle humour into the next encounter; stop her before you pass by each other and say something like, "you know, I've never said hi to somebody so many times without at least finding out their name... I'm ____." The rest is up to you, but voila... you've got your intro. yea i came up with something from all the posts. i posted on another forum too. i got it man. just a matter of time now. "you know, I've never said hi to somebody so many times without at least finding out their name... I'm ____." That sounds like something an old person would say. it doesnt sound right coming from me. but thanks for the suggestion Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 how about..... "what class were you just at? _____ (pause, wait for answer). I just came from ______. .....so what do have next?_______ (wait for answer, take it from there). if your stuck for whats next, try watching the end of her class, assuming it is a PE, then compliment her on what ever it was she was doing. play it cool, for added intrigue if you must, and say you were her for another reason. but... your not doing anything tommorrow if she would like to grab a bite to eat after. ect.. ect... Link to post Share on other sites
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