whitegeekster Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Okay so my girlfriend I were doing perfect(or at least i thought) until last night around 11:30. I had just got done seeing a movie with her and some of our friends (another couple). Before the movie she was very quiet and didn't really make any contact with me. When i got home i was texting her and she basically ended the realationship.....I will post the messages below.I need to know what to do, because i think im in love with her and that she is the one. Thanks ahead of time!!! Tuesday, December 21, 2010 Her Hang on a sec.. 12:01 AM okay 12:01 AM Me Her Mmk you there? 12:13 AM yes 12:13 AM Me Her K what was the question?? 12:14 AM what were you going to tell me? 12:15 AM Me Her Oh yeah. Ok so I care.about you. Therefore I will be honest. Ok? 12:16 AM ok 12:16 AM Me Her Ok. So. Umm ever since.. the beach night or last week. When you kept saying I miss you. It kind of turned off my feelings for you since.you say it...a lot. And 12:25 AM then that night after the beach.. how.you didn't want to leave.. that kind of was too... i mean i understand wanting to hang out and stuff. But the way you did 12:25 AM it kind of showed me how much younger you are than me.. and your really awesome and would much rather talk to you in person.. but I just never seem to find the 12:25 AM right moment.. and that kind of bugs me too.. I've been wanting to tell you but don't because I don't want to hurt you.. so then I just don't say anything.. but 12:25 AM then that doesn't work for me... I just feel bad. And I'm really sorry.. but I really had to tell you how I felt and I hate that its over a computer screen. 12:25 AM ...the reason i did that was because for once in my life i thought i found the right one, I thought you were the answer to all my prayers Eva. 12:32 AM When I wasn't with you it didn't feel right, that is the reason I said it so much. I know i screwed up, and i know 12:32 AM that my apology isn't going to fix anything but I am more than sorry. 12:32 AM Thank you for all the time we spent together... 12:32 AM Me Her And me and Megan talked today. And if we did date.. what would we look forward too? We already do.what couples.would. I mean we do more than Kay and Patrick and 12:33 AM Megan and Brandon. So if we did date we wouldn't be saving anyting.. and that made me kind of sad. Because it seems more a a.friends with benefits thing and da 12:33 AM ting without a title.. so I feel like I'm going behind my parents backs.. and that's not on my to do list.. and thus year my goal was to not date anyone.. or an 12:33 AM ything with a Guy... then you came along. And your really awesome.. but my goal is completely. Like failed.. and and I get really mad at myself for those kinds 12:33 AM of things.. and it makes me upset that people already think we are dating.. even though were supposed to be friends it just shows me that I'm not patient... an 12:33 AM d and a bunch of stuff.. ugh I hate texting this to you 12:33 AM Phoenix I think your taking me the wrong way.. we may be just at the moment I don't think were on the same page.. I don't want to be in a relationship... my par 12:37 AM ents don't allow it and I don't want to go against their backs. You can't blame yourself I was my fault for not bent able to do anything. I was planning on tell 12:37 AM ing you my boundaries a long time ago. But when you told me you were afraid to get hurt, I figured you would have yours too.. but its my fault for not telling y 12:37 AM ou earlier. Please.don't take this out on you. Or anything. Because you didnt do anything 12:38 AM Okay I understand, I starting liking you to fast, I should of slowed down. When you started calling me "babe" I though you were making it more 12:42 AM serious. And when you I said I never want to loose you, and you said I won't... Gah I never expected this :/ Well I'll be waiting 12:42 AM Me Her I know.. calling you babe was my fault. I just thought it fit. And when I never wanted to lose you. I meant as my friend. You are one of my closest friends that 12:44 AM I can talk to. And I don't want to lose that... 12:44 AM okay, so what do you want me to do? I mean I obviously still like you...and that isn't going to change anytime soon, and you're probably going 12:50 AM to move on, but I promise you, I will be here when you graduate, and your basically the best friend I've ever had... 12:50 AM Me Her Just be my friend and we will see what happens 12:54 AM alright, so start over? 12:54 AM Me Her Link to post Share on other sites
fitandalertbrain Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I can keep this simple. Im sure you have tried all the kind and sweet little things but none of them have yielded the results you wanted. Women want to be with a man whom they think that you are a prize and certainly not the other way around. The message at 12:25 am clearly indicates that you indicated to her that she is the prize and you arent. You lost your value in her eyes. Its ok there is nothing to worry of at this moment. Its weird but between you and me Im just telling that women want a man whom they have to chase after (a little bit not too much; after all we tend to chase after the ones who try to run away). Its not just because of one thing she has broken up with you its definitely because of an accumulation of things. Anyway that does not matter right now. Please dont feel Im trying to produce guilt in you. Before she puts you entirely in the friends zone you need to stop it from happening if you really want to keep her as your girlfriend. Please follow these steps: 1. Limit your availability. I'm willing to bet that whenever this girl does call you, you eagerly answer the phone and chat with her for as long as she wants. You THINK that when you spend two hours on the phone with her, sharing your life stories and telling her about emotional stuff, you're building some kind of deep "connection" with her. But what you're actually doing is removing ANY sense of mystery about yourself, and letting her know that you have nothing else going in your life... and no other women. This is massively UN-attractive to her. (I know that when you're a man who is struggling with this situation, and haven't hooked up her in a while, this takes a LOT of discipline. Your instinct is to make yourself totally available to her and try to spend as much time as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep doing it this way, if you want to keep wondering why she will keep placing you in the friend zone...) 2. Until you've slept with her again, limit your phone chats with her to five minutes. 3. Women are moody and emotional. Get used to it, and know how to deal with it. This actually works for any woman not just her... When she start acting weird or distant, she is testing you. She wants to see how you will respond. Do you kiss her ass and ask her "what's wrong?" Do you get frustrated and angered by her behavior? (Either of these responses will only make her get more moody!) Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN? (Tell her, "Well, I can tell you've got some things on your mind right now, so why don't you take some time to sort it out and get back to me. I've got some things I need to handle right now.") 4. Dont be her friend Any time she says "lets just be friends" dont be rude to her or use a rude tone. Just be calm and say "No friends" and then slowly say "Its just that I have too many friends and I just dont have time for another one right now" 5. Never confess your attraction to her. Women interpret this as a sign of weakness. 6. Finally, be willing to "man up" and walk away. If for whatever reason she just can't sort out her feelings, cut her loose. Trust me, if you were involved with two or three OTHER women right now, you wouldn't have the time or the interest to play games with some chick who can't make up her mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts