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Don't give me a reason to cheat on you ?

Mary3

By Mary3,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Mary3

Mary3

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Guys : What does this mean ?

 

Her : " Would you ever cheat on me ? "

 

Answer: " Don't give me a reason to ".

 

Girls may answer too :)

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quankanne

quankanne

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"I like being with you, but I'm not so into you that I'll let you have all of me, and that if something better comes along *and* you do something to piss me off, I'm gonna chase after that something better."

 

called a lack of respect, IMO

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Mary3

Mary3

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"I like being with you, but I'm not so into you that I'll let you have all of me, and that if something better comes along *and* you do something to piss me off, I'm gonna chase after that something better."

 

called a lack of respect, IMO

 

Yes indeed . Lack of respect ...

 

Thanks for your view of what the heck that means ..:lmao:

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2sure

2sure

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Are you sure he wasnt just kidding, being sarcastic?

 

If so my response would be:

 

You will never be able to cheat on me because the moment I think you might - you'll be single.

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Mary3

Mary3

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Are you sure he wasnt just kidding, being sarcastic?

 

If so my response would be:

 

You will never be able to cheat on me because the moment I think you might - you'll be single.

 

He's a sociopath so he was not kidding...

 

And my answer matches yours. ZERO tolerance for cheating...

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gisellefromhell

gisellefromhell

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That is totally stupid.

 

First of all, there is no "reason" for cheating. People who think that cheating is a tool to get back at you for something obviously have low self-esteem issues. They're anticipating that they will one day be unhappy with you, and instead of wanting to work things out or even break it off because they're unhappy, they will use cheating as the easy way out. Lame.

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Mary3

Mary3

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Geez thats the same kind of guy who says I will never beat unless you give me reason.

 

He's not a beater but he does the mind f*** thing...

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Mary3

Mary3

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That is totally stupid.

 

First of all, there is no "reason" for cheating. People who think that cheating is a tool to get back at you for something obviously have low self-esteem issues. They're anticipating that they will one day be unhappy with you, and instead of wanting to work things out or even break it off because they're unhappy, they will use cheating as the easy way out. Lame.

 

Thank you !

 

Isn't the correct answer ? : ( here's mine ) " I don't believe in cheating. It's the cowards way. When I end this relationship its because I want to move on and I don't sleep with anyone else while in a relationship "

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carhill

carhill

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It means the man is not worth the time, effort and love of a healthy woman. It's really great information. I am hopeful, but life experience has taught me that what a woman wants when this conversation takes place, and what she is attracted to, can often be two very different realities. The more women I interact with, the more this experience is reinforced.

 

Funnily, no woman has ever asked me that question. I wonder why. TBH, they'd be smart if they did. If they did, I'd tell them about my affair. They'd have good information; information that doesn't match up with my baby-face couldn't hurt a fly demeanor. Everything isn't always as it seems.

 

Merry Christmas, OP, and best wishes for a healthy and happy new year :)

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gisellefromhell

gisellefromhell

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Thank you !

 

Isn't the correct answer ? : ( here's mine ) " I don't believe in cheating. It's the cowards way. When I end this relationship its because I want to move on and I don't sleep with anyone else while in a relationship "

 

My answer would be: I don't appreciate that you are threatening to cheat on me if I don't meet your criteria. I would never cheat on you, and if you are unable to make me happy anymore, I respect you enough to let you know that I am unhappy and that I would like to move on without you. I hope you respect me the same way.

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Mary3

Mary3

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It means the man is not worth the time, effort and love of a healthy woman. It's really great information. I am hopeful, but life experience has taught me that what a woman wants when this conversation takes place, and what she is attracted to, can often be two very different realities. The more women I interact with, the more this experience is reinforced.

 

Funnily, no woman has ever asked me that question. I wonder why. TBH, they'd be smart if they did. If they did, I'd tell them about my affair. They'd have good information; information that doesn't match up with my baby-face couldn't hurt a fly demeanor. Everything isn't always as it seems.

 

Merry Christmas, OP, and best wishes for a healthy and happy new year :)

 

Merry Christmas carhill ! I wish I could say its Merry but I am a positive person who will trudge forward...

 

I have never been a victim of cheating but I suspect strongly its close at hand and I want OUT ! :p

 

In response to your question : I found out this person had one prior discretion and thats when I said " Would you cheat on me " ? The answer felt like a punch in the stomach but I was always on alert...sad huh ?

 

I said " Shouldn't your answer be NO I would not cheat on you." ??

 

That should be everyones answer because everyone should get out of their R if they want to be with someone else. Pretty elementary :)

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Mary3

Mary3

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My answer would be: I don't appreciate that you are threatening to cheat on me if I don't meet your criteria. I would never cheat on you, and if you are unable to make me happy anymore, I respect you enough to let you know that I am unhappy and that I would like to move on without you. I hope you respect me the same way.

 

Great answer !

 

Trust me red flags went off....Who says that ??

 

Somebody who feels it's justified ?

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carhill

carhill

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'I've cheated before and experienced firsthand the destruction and hurt it brought to my M and my exW, as well as the dishonor to myself. I learned important lessons about boundaries and communication (elaboration as appropriate). I know that, for anyone, infidelity is *possible* and we each must make healthy choices each day to support and prioritize our primary relationship. I want that relationship to be with you. Any questions?'

 

IMO, people (I was one of them) tend to think in black and white until hit with the abject reality of gray. I respect gray now and understand it. MC taught the tools to process it in a healthy way. Each day we are faced with choices. What choice will we make today?

 

I hope things are better for you. :)

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Mary3

Mary3

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'I've cheated before and experienced firsthand the destruction and hurt it brought to my M and my exW, as well as the dishonor to myself. I learned important lessons about boundaries and communication (elaboration as appropriate). I know that, for anyone, infidelity is *possible* and we each must make healthy choices each day to support and prioritize our primary relationship. I want that relationship to be with you. Any questions?'

 

IMO, people (I was one of them) tend to think in black and white until hit with the abject reality of gray. I respect gray now and understand it. MC taught the tools to process it in a healthy way. Each day we are faced with choices. What choice will we make today?

 

I hope things are better for you. :)

 

Thank you carhill. I think it can only get better from here.

 

I have the tools I need to see it for what it really is. Looking back we only see what we want to and explain away things in our midst...

 

So darn close to xmas...ugh,....I love xmas...all decorated...tree..

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Mary3

Mary3

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This is a person who has no respect for others and blames them for his actions.

 

Thank you Woggle !

 

Exactly, its like " You made me climb into bed with her because _______ " ugh !

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Woggle

Woggle

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Thank you Woggle !

 

Exactly, its like " You made me climb into bed with her because _______ " ugh !

 

I don't buy that. If a person makes you so unhappy that you no longer want to be commited to them then break it off first. Get out with your integrity and honesty intact.

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carhill

carhill

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Also, 'cheating' extends far beyond noodle wetting (climbing into bed) by de-prioritizing or otherwise undermining the primary relationship, even if the 'affair' is transparent/disclosed 'honest'. That process can be far closer to 'reason' than swapping bodily fluids and often far more destructive. Initially I thought this was a hypothetical but it appears that it is not, rather a real conversation. I'm sorry to read that...

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Mary3

Mary3

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I don't buy that. If a person makes you so unhappy that you no longer want to be commited to them then break it off first. Get out with your integrity and honesty intact.

 

Excellent :)

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Mary3

Mary3

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Also, 'cheating' extends far beyond noodle wetting (climbing into bed) by de-prioritizing or otherwise undermining the primary relationship, even if the 'affair' is transparent/disclosed 'honest'. That process can be far closer to 'reason' than swapping bodily fluids and often far more destructive. Initially I thought this was a hypothetical but it appears that it is not, rather a real conversation. I'm sorry to read that...

 

Not to mention devastating....:(

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NoLongerSad

NoLongerSad

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Guys : What does this mean ?

 

Her : " Would you ever cheat on me ? "

 

Answer: " Don't give me a reason to ".

 

Girls may answer too :)

 

 

Don't ask questions that you might not like the answer to.

 

You tried to bait him/start a fight by essentially accusing him of being capable of cheating in the first place (which he might be).

 

He gave it right back to you.

 

Now you have your answer. Don't give him a reason to cheat.

 

Such as asking him nasty questions which accuse him of being a cheater.

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