5 weeks NC, update

[Pokemon]

I'm on vacation at my parents' place at the moment and just wanted to give everyone an update.

 

By the 3rd week of NC, I was pretty much over it.

 

On the 4th week, he wrote me a sappy email, which I just stored and never replied.

 

On the 5th week (today), I found that xMM started a blog and blasted all my weak points.. I found it because he posted something on my blog. I never bad mouthed him on mine, or even mentioned him at all, so I thought it was uncouth. I left a message on his blog to "get over it, because I already have."

 

I also met a new guy whom I'm absolutely smitten with. Sex with the new guy was amazing.. a big part is knowing he's single and likes me too. Though I know me and the new guy may never work out (we live in different countries), the exhilaration of liking somebody new just sunk the final nail into the coffin for me and xMM's relationship.

 

I feel so much happier now, and I truly love being single. So for all of you going through it, hang in there! You will get there!

[siuys]

Pokemon, this is EXACTLY what I need to hear right now, thank you! I am on Day 23 NC with xMM emailing me twice in the last few days and I used all my power I could muster to ignore them. I am still in love with him so it's not over, over for me yet but that is my goal. I have made a decision that this is it.

 

Yes, very uncouth of your xMM to bad-mouth you on your blog. How low. Makes you respect him even less no doubt.

 

Good luck and have fun with the new guy.

[Hazyhead]

I'm on vacation at my parents' place at the moment and just wanted to give everyone an update.

 

By the 3rd week of NC, I was pretty much over it.

 

On the 4th week, he wrote me a sappy email, which I just stored and never replied.

 

On the 5th week (today), I found that xMM started a blog and blasted all my weak points.. I found it because he posted something on my blog. I never bad mouthed him on mine, or even mentioned him at all, so I thought it was uncouth. I left a message on his blog to "get over it, because I already have."

 

I also met a new guy whom I'm absolutely smitten with. Sex with the new guy was amazing.. a big part is knowing he's single and likes me too. Though I know me and the new guy may never work out (we live in different countries), the exhilaration of liking somebody new just sunk the final nail into the coffin for me and xMM's relationship.

 

I feel so much happier now, and I truly love being single. So for all of you going through it, hang in there! You will get there!

 

A great update, Pokemon. What a douche blasting you on a blog! Coward. Love your response to it though - little but effective. Good luck with your new guy and have a fantastic Christmas x

[Pokemon]

It really helps that I took the step - to visit my friends and family for the holidays. I've just been so busy all day, all week, I've got no time to think!

 

I also re-routed my New Year's plans to London instead of Southern California. I was supposed to spend New Year's eve with xMM. My best friend came to Asia to visit, but I'll be with her over New Year's in UK where she lives.

 

My best friend has also been busy introducing me to all sorts of new, single guys from her work place... Just dressing up, going out and mingling everyday really helps!

 

You'll get there Siuys! Hang on! I went through many ups and downs before getting here.

[East7]

Thanks for your update Pokemon - rated it 4 stars

 

I think this is very helpful to all OP with moving on and that there are beautiful things in life out there.

 

Also NC is the best strategy !

[fooled once]

I'm on vacation at my parents' place at the moment and just wanted to give everyone an update.

 

By the 3rd week of NC, I was pretty much over it.

 

On the 4th week, he wrote me a sappy email, which I just stored and never replied.

 

On the 5th week (today), I found that xMM started a blog and blasted all my weak points.. I found it because he posted something on my blog. I never bad mouthed him on mine, or even mentioned him at all, so I thought it was uncouth. I left a message on his blog to "get over it, because I already have."

 

I also met a new guy whom I'm absolutely smitten with. Sex with the new guy was amazing.. a big part is knowing he's single and likes me too. Though I know me and the new guy may never work out (we live in different countries), the exhilaration of liking somebody new just sunk the final nail into the coffin for me and xMM's relationship.

 

I feel so much happier now, and I truly love being single. So for all of you going through it, hang in there! You will get there!

 

SO glad to hear you are doing well! So glad you have met a SINGLE guy!! So glad you are smitten

 

You know the MM just had to blame you, blast you and otherwise not own up to what he did. He is selfish and has the ego the size of a country. He is purposefully saying hurtful things in order to get a rise out of you.

 

You have to do your best to ignore him. You have to put him behind you. You have to put the whole affair behind you.

 

You know how you felt and you know what you experienced. You have owned your portion. He will probably never own his, he is a coward, ya know.

 

Move forward.

 

I hope you enjoy your holidays with your parents and that 2011 brings you lots of happiness!!

[SunsetRed]

Great post! I'm close to being where you are, but I still have my down moments. I know there's hope and that things will get better. Life is too short to let a man take you down.

[siuys]

Great news, sunset. So how how long have been on NC? I'm still early Day 23 but longest I've ever been so it's definitely progress.

 

Wishing everyone hear a great Xmas.

[ItsNeverForever]

Pokemon! This post makes me SO HAPPY!!! Happy that you were able to recover so relatively quickly, so much so that you were able to allow a new, SINGLE man into your life, even if it only ends up being temporary because of your distance. You so deserve this happiness! Woot! Woot! You give me hope...

[SunsetRed]

Siuys, I haven't had contact since Nov 7th. That might sound good, but the weak part of me was expecting NC to bring him back to me and I'm sad that it hasn't. I have written tons of pathetic emails that I saved in my draft box and I still text myself instead of texting him.

 

I'm working on having positive thoughts, because negative thoughts only bring more negativity to me. I'm reading The Secret and The Power by Rhonda Byrne to help me with this.

 

Deep down, I want his marriage to dissolve so that he'll come running back to me. Wishing for someone's marriage to dissolve is negative and will only bring misfortune to me, so I am trying like crazy to think positive, happy thoughts.

 

Still, I'm feeling better. I'm not where Pokemon is yet, but I'm getting there.

[jwi71]

Can you prevent him from posting on your blog? If not, perhaps posting about your new fling will deter him?

 

And STOP posting on his blog.

 

Enjoy the new guy, forget the MM and move on.

[Pokemon]

If I write about my new fling, my new boy may end up reading it and I don't want that.

 

My blog is just for random thoughts, like which wine is better or which book to read.. not for relationships!!

 

xMM started messaging me by my blog's private messages now. omg.

[siuys]

Siuys, I haven't had contact since Nov 7th. That might sound good, but the weak part of me was expecting NC to bring him back to me and I'm sad that it hasn't. I have written tons of pathetic emails that I saved in my draft box and I still text myself instead of texting him.

 

I'm working on having positive thoughts, because negative thoughts only bring more negativity to me. I'm reading The Secret and The Power by Rhonda Byrne to help me with this.

 

Deep down, I want his marriage to dissolve so that he'll come running back to me. Wishing for someone's marriage to dissolve is negative and will only bring misfortune to me, so I am trying like crazy to think positive, happy thoughts.

 

Still, I'm feeling better. I'm not where Pokemon is yet, but I'm getting there.

 

Sunset, i too believe in negativity bringing more negativity. i know it's hard at this stage since you're not over him and you want him. but i really don't believe him running back to you without him having worked on himself is a good thing. you might very well be heading straight to a rebound R with a needy person if it he were going to do that.

 

At first I did NC coz of my anxiety attacks. I could no longer cope with being the OW with him having moved back home.

 

Now I maintain NC coz I need to heal myself, work on myself and move on. You can't MAKE someone to be with you anyway. NC will also give him the space and end the dysfunctional, addictive cycle. NC will give clarity for both (if he works on himself too). NC will also tell me in time his clear intentions without my influence. If he does end up leaving his M, he cannot blame that I caused it further down the line. And if he doesn't, I'd have moved on and not wasted any more time.

 

I suspect xMM may still contact me, and I expect him to affect me in a bad way for a few days. But ultimately, ending this chapter is the very best thing for the both of us.

 

Good luck and happy holidays.