Somebody is sending me sick texts

[Eclipse11]

The thing is, I don't really know who is doing it

It is probably one of two people:

1) Man who started cyberstalking me and following me around a bit a few years ago, though he never texted before

2) My ex-boyfriend whom I just broke up with, we are currently in NC

 

It's the timing that is weird - it started when I broke off my relationship with my boyfriend

 

First text said "I'm back in your area, I've seen you around, you still look a f***ing freak, will hear from me again soon" ( this came about a month after I had broken up with my boyfriend, around the time that he suddenly deleted me from facebook ) - after this text I called him upset and we reconciled

 

Then nothing - then we broke up again, another text came a couple of weeks after: "boo - behind you"

 

Now, a few weeks later, another one, this was the worst: said he had seen me, in my town and "you really do look an ugly f***ing freak - checked the forums lately merry xmas not"

 

I am in NC with my boyfriend at the moment, he asked if I would change my mind after breaking up several times, when I finally said no again, he stopped trying and has not been in touch

 

I don't know who is behind it, I suspect the man who was cyberstalking me the most, but there's always the chance it could be my ex, the timing was at the same time we broke up, I told him about everything that happened - however it could be the other man, he knows he would get beaten up if I was still with my boyfriend so does it when I'm not

 

Or it could even be somebody who isn't one of them! I have reported it to the police anyhow and I will change my number

 

Do people normally do stuff like this? I don't know what to think, can anybody offer any advice thanks

Edited December 22, 2010 by Eclipse11

[Cee]

The only advice I can offer is to get support from your friends and family. Now that you are single, it's a good time to build support around you. This is a scary thing and you might want to have your friends around you for awhile until you feel safe again. I think it's best that you assume your ex boyfriend is involved. He might be innocent, but I don't want you to be tempted to go to him to feel safe.

 

I have been stalked by an ex boyfriend before. He snooped in my office when I wasn't at work and spread lies about me to our friends. It was very upsetting and I stayed as far away as I could. I didn't feel safe until he moved away.

[Eclipse11]

Thank you for your reply Cee, luckily I feel like I do have quite a bit of support and I think your idea is very good about assuming that my ex could be involved, just to be on the safe side

Sometimes I did wonder when we were together if he had done things to hurt me on purpose or he would twist things around, also often emphasise what a nice guy he was compared to other guys, something did seem a bit strange

But I really hope it isn't him doing it - sadly I guess there is always the chance, it's all so weird - what was strange too, is, the bit about have a merry xmas, that day the christmas card would have arrived that I sent him but maybe it's coincidence, I hate to even think it of him

There is somebody I suspect more but who knows

Thanks again, I'm glad there's nothing unsettling going on in your life any longer Cee, have a wonderful xmas

Edited December 22, 2010 by Eclipse11

[mohdhm]

This reminded me of a show on tv called it is "always sunny in philidalphea." where one of the character humorously depicts how he gets back with his ex-girlfriends through sheer manipulation. One "techniques" used is to make the girl dependent on him in the relationship so that when they break up, he can phone in (via a pay phone) and make threats as some creepy dude, compelling his now ex-girlfriends to call him, in-tears. This is where he would take advantage of her weakness and comfort her, slowly getting back together.

 

Chances are it is the stalker who gets his high out of stalking you. The timing is strange because the stalker is acting like opportunistic disease that hits when the immune system is down. If it was the boyfriend then he should feel sick to his stomach, unless he is a creep. Just be careful, don't get back with your ex-boyfriend out of fear. He would have to be really dumb to send you threats via his own phone (assuming he got a new number). You did the right thing so far reporting it to the police, they should track down that number easily.

 

by the way, how does a person get "stalked" on the internet...

 

goodluck with your situation.

 

oh and stalking is far from normal.

[Eclipse11]

Thank you Mohdhm there's a lot of truth in your words, I think it's him

I'm guessing the text was sent from a computer not a phone, I think it's a "spoof text"

BTW cyberstalking is when somebody pretends they are a stranger online but they're not at all and they get chatting to you or send you weird private messages or post things directed at you, it's creepy

Like, they might find you on one forum and then refer to you by that name on another forum, stuff like that

Well I have had nothing else so far, fingers crossed things'll stay like this

[Tiberius]

Woooow quite the charmer eh?

[Jonno_S]

Change phone number. Done.

[Eeyore79]

Change phone number. Done.

I would still be freaked out that someone who knew me and had seen me in person was viciously victimising me. I'd worry about what else they might do if they decided to take it further. Changing your phone number doesn't stop a psycho from stalking you, it just prevents him from sending you messages, but he could still be lurking somewhere waiting to pounce...