goldenrainbow Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 It's been two weeks since I broke up with my ex (controlling and verbally abusive ex). We met once for coffee and that was it, an occasional "how are things," text message and I honestly was a bit scared not to answer him because he is the kind of guy who would come to my door out of the blue. I know it was stupid but I didn't feel safe cutting off complete contact with him (he has threatened to kill me once when out of control and God knows what he might do) Well anyway yesterday I had a wake up call, reading a lot of testimonies of women who were involved in controlling relationships and just decided that I HAD to take charge of things and that I won't let him control me anymore. Honestly I suddenly stopped being afraid or I am so tired that I don't even feel anything anymore. Well he knows that my ex.husband came to pick up my kids for Xmas, so my ex-boyfriend KNEW I was alone. so he texted me saying "I love you". I didn't answer of course. Another text short after saying "oh I see, you are with someone else!!! Who is he??" So I just answered him "I will not tolerate that you control me now that we're not together anymore, I had enough obsessive control while we were together. Take care". He answered back "Fine. you too". This was last night and no sign yet. I really don't think he will stop...But I know that I am really starting to not fear reactions anymore. NO control anymore! He won't stop, will he? At least as the patterns usually go? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Yes he will stop, if you don't respond. You have told him how it's going to be. Now you need to put your money where your mouth is, and NOT RESPOND to him any more. He might send a text, and another, and another, and another. He might get nasty in the texts, he might insult you or your ex or your kids or anything under the sun. But if you don't reply any more, he will get bored and stop. If you go back on what you said and reply to him, even to tell him to stop, he will know he's getting to you and won't stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldenrainbow Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 yes, guess with this kind of people that is really the only way out. Once they get feedback things keep going in circles. Link to post Share on other sites
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