i had a pity party and no one came, darn it!

[holly]

today i am feeling so sad and miserable and have been in tears for most of the day. ya see i have anxiety attacks, hormone problems too. i havent been able to go to work today cause of the anxiety and tension i feel in my system, it is imobilizing me. my boyfriend don't or can or wont understand, my daughter is too young to know or help, my dr's answer to everything is pills, pills and more pills. i haven't had a good night's sleep for about a month now, i fear what tomorrow will bring, will i be able to go to work, will i sleep tonight, will i be able to remember where i put the car keys, did i mention my failing memory? i am only 40. today i am a wreck. who knows with the mood swings maybe in five minutes i will take a job as a traveling salesperson. no one understands what i go through emotionally with mood swings, tension, insommia, fatigue, irritability, bloating, breast tenderness, depression, then happiness, i'm not a manic depressant, i'm just going through life's changes and am not handling them well at all. i feel best at home in front of my computer where i can surf my cares away, i think it called reality avoidance. what to do, what to do. who knows. i am scared of the ever changing emotions in me, one minute i want to cry ,then laugh, then run away from everybody, then sleep all day, but can't sleep anyway. i have to wonder if one can lose their mind from too much turmoil. i hope so maybe insanity is a better place to be then this havoc. any ideas on how to get there?

[Tony T]

You have several problems that need to be addressed and you will become perfectly normal.

 

You have had this anxiety problem for a very long time, probably since your late teens or early 20's. You probebly had a pretty rough childhood and suffered depression as a teenager. You have probably always had a sense of being misunderstood and very lonely. There aren't many people who know you who are aware of the suffering you sustain just to keep going on a daily basis. Panic disorder, phobias, free floating anxiety, etc. are horrible things to have to suffer but they are treatable by a well qualified physician.

 

First, you are right...you are not manic depressive, in my opinion...I am not a doctor and I haven't talked to you. But you are so used to living with your mind spinning in chaos you haven't learned to slow it down. The process of relaxing may make you even more nervous because it's not something you are used to. You haven't had a truly relaxing day in years. On the rare occasion that you start feeling somewhat normal, you go into a panic because it is so uncharacteristic of your days.

 

Get some relaxation tapes and meditate for one half hour twice a day. Just relax. Get all the crap out of your mind. Don't worry about anything. You are not going to have a nervous breakdown, you are not going to go out of your mind and you are not going to die. So just RELAX!!!

 

I know you dislike medications but you do suffer from depression. Ask your doctor about Zoloft or some of the other good antianxiety antidepressants that have few side effects. Get on them. Another medicine is Klonopin, which helps prevent anxiety or panic attacks. One of the reasons for your anxiety is an insufficient amount of seritonin in your brain. It is a neurotransmitting substance that helps the brain stabilize itself and your body. These drugs will level off your seritonin level and make you feel much better once the proper dose has been adjusted for.

 

Clean up your life. You have got to STOP taking everything so seriously. You have a tremendous amount of repressed anger...anger at the people who abused you when you were younger...anger at men for not understanding your problem...anger at God for casting this heavy burden upon you...just a lot of anger that you have repressed. Many professionals say that depression is anger turned inward. That's why it's a tale tale sign that you have this anger that needs to be worked out.

 

Your counsellor needs to help you get in touch with all the anger that is sticking to your soul and teach you techniques to purge it from your system. You will feel much better. Learn more appropriate coping mechanisms. It would have been nice if some of this work could have been done before you went into menopause but today is the first day of the rest of your life, so begin.

 

Another excellent resource is a licenses medical hypnotherapist who can use ethical hypnosis to help you toward a more speedy recovery. Your current doctor may be able to recommend someone or you can find them in the phone book. Just be sure they are highly qualified.

 

Just get it into your head that approximately half of the only life you will ever have has gone by and it is up to you to make the quality of the second half much better than the first.

 

There is a great deal of reference material on panic disorder (anxiety attacks) on the Internet and you can find this information through search engines. You can find out where support groups meet in your area. These offer an opportunity for you to see you are not alone and to get help on various coping methods. There are also chatrooms for people who have the malady. Today, there is so much more known about panic disorder and agorophobia than was know even 20 years ago. There is a lot of help out there.

 

If your current doctor can't help you stabilize the way you feel, do some research and find another highly capable physician in your area who can.

 

I promise you there is hope. First, you have to stop awfulizing and catastrophizing and making everything so much bigger than it is. Along with that, you have to start relaxing more and finding things to do that you enjoy. You haven't enjoyed life in many years. Third, you need to sit back, meditate, and calm your mind.

 

I will also tell you that your anxiety, heart palpitations, etc. will be worse when you haven't slept. Get a thorough physical from a physician and let him know you want to begin an exercise program. Once cleared by your doctor to begin, gradually build yourself up to a half hour each day of medium impact aerobic exercise. If you can't do that, fast walking or bike riding will do. Turn on your stereo and play some upbeat music while you exercise inside at home or buy one of those exercise videos and do it.

 

Exercise will ensure you get back on a perfect sleep schedule. Taking an good multivitamin supplement each morning with a light breakfast will also help you. I promise that when you start your exercise program, within just a few days you will be sleeping like a log.

 

With good sleep, you will find your anxiety and frequency of anxiety attacks will diminish significantly.

 

So you have a lot of work to do. Now go do it or don't complain!!!

[holly]

wow, you must be God or God like cause you nailed me so perfectly. are you psychic? i started a multi vitamin today as a matter of fact called gynovite. i am going to start taking revival too, it is a soy protein shake. my b'f is about fed up with me to the hilt with my mood swings and anxiety. i havent' wanted to do anything in days and he is upset that i don't want to do anything and that i didn't make it to work today. i am self-employed so i can work around my own schedule, but no work no money, but i have some in savings, anyway, he got tired of looking at the kitchen last night so he took it upon himself to clean and organize it then started in this morning with papers laying around here. don't get me wrong, i didn't think it was that bad, he did. he is not happy with the way i have been keeping house, so he complains and cleans himself then complains about being the only one who cleans. at those times i feel like leaving him anyway, i don't need or want his lectures right now, but i don't know if that is how i really feel or if i'll feel better about him again after i feel better myself. i hate to leave him then find out it was "me" not him, then what? sorry to go on like this, i really needed someone to talk to, i appreciate you taking time for me, i wish others would. i can't believe how accurately you pinpointed me, that is amazing!

 

i did take a walk today with my dog, i need sleep so bad. thank you tony for your great advise and listening to me. thank you so very much!

You have several problems that need to be addressed and you will become perfectly normal.

 

You have had this anxiety problem for a very long time, probably since your late teens or early 20's. You probebly had a pretty rough childhood and suffered depression as a teenager. You have probably always had a sense of being misunderstood and very lonely. There aren't many people who know you who are aware of the suffering you sustain just to keep going on a daily basis. Panic disorder, phobias, free floating anxiety, etc. are horrible things to have to suffer but they are treatable by a well qualified physician. First, you are right...you are not manic depressive, in my opinion...I am not a doctor and I haven't talked to you. But you are so used to living with your mind spinning in chaos you haven't learned to slow it down. The process of relaxing may make you even more nervous because it's not something you are used to. You haven't had a truly relaxing day in years. On the rare occasion that you start feeling somewhat normal, you go into a panic because it is so uncharacteristic of your days. Get some relaxation tapes and meditate for one half hour twice a day. Just relax. Get all the crap out of your mind. Don't worry about anything. You are not going to have a nervous breakdown, you are not going to go out of your mind and you are not going to die. So just RELAX!!! I know you dislike medications but you do suffer from depression. Ask your doctor about Zoloft or some of the other good antianxiety antidepressants that have few side effects. Get on them. Another medicine is Klonopin, which helps prevent anxiety or panic attacks. One of the reasons for your anxiety is an insufficient amount of seritonin in your brain. It is a neurotransmitting substance that helps the brain stabilize itself and your body. These drugs will level off your seritonin level and make you feel much better once the proper dose has been adjusted for. Clean up your life. You have got to STOP taking everything so seriously. You have a tremendous amount of repressed anger...anger at the people who abused you when you were younger...anger at men for not understanding your problem...anger at God for casting this heavy burden upon you...just a lot of anger that you have repressed. Many professionals say that depression is anger turned inward. That's why it's a tale tale sign that you have this anger that needs to be worked out. Your counsellor needs to help you get in touch with all the anger that is sticking to your soul and teach you techniques to purge it from your system. You will feel much better. Learn more appropriate coping mechanisms. It would have been nice if some of this work could have been done before you went into menopause but today is the first day of the rest of your life, so begin. Another excellent resource is a licenses medical hypnotherapist who can use ethical hypnosis to help you toward a more speedy recovery. Your current doctor may be able to recommend someone or you can find them in the phone book. Just be sure they are highly qualified. Just get it into your head that approximately half of the only life you will ever have has gone by and it is up to you to make the quality of the second half much better than the first. There is a great deal of reference material on panic disorder (anxiety attacks) on the Internet and you can find this information through search engines. You can find out where support groups meet in your area. These offer an opportunity for you to see you are not alone and to get help on various coping methods. There are also chatrooms for people who have the malady. Today, there is so much more known about panic disorder and agorophobia than was know even 20 years ago. There is a lot of help out there. If your current doctor can't help you stabilize the way you feel, do some research and find another highly capable physician in your area who can.

 

I promise you there is hope. First, you have to stop awfulizing and catastrophizing and making everything so much bigger than it is. Along with that, you have to start relaxing more and finding things to do that you enjoy. You haven't enjoyed life in many years. Third, you need to sit back, meditate, and calm your mind. I will also tell you that your anxiety, heart palpitations, etc. will be worse when you haven't slept. Get a thorough physical from a physician and let him know you want to begin an exercise program. Once cleared by your doctor to begin, gradually build yourself up to a half hour each day of medium impact aerobic exercise. If you can't do that, fast walking or bike riding will do. Turn on your stereo and play some upbeat music while you exercise inside at home or buy one of those exercise videos and do it. Exercise will ensure you get back on a perfect sleep schedule. Taking an good multivitamin supplement each morning with a light breakfast will also help you. I promise that when you start your exercise program, within just a few days you will be sleeping like a log. With good sleep, you will find your anxiety and frequency of anxiety attacks will diminish significantly. So you have a lot of work to do. Now go do it or don't complain!!!

[Tony T]

You need to understand that your guy probably did not bargain for what he is going through. He probably is doing the very best he can to try to understand but his capacity for understanding you is probably very low. There are not a lot of people who could stand by and be happy about what you are going through.

 

I don't want to make any comments about this man because I don't know what's in his head and I don't know how much he knew about your condition before you got together. But you need to sit with him and calmly explain your plan for recovery and let him know you expect him to be supportive during this period of time.

 

If he won't be supportive and help you as you work toward a normal life, then you have to make the decision about leaving him. I have no idea what your reaction would be if he left. If you have serious abandonment issues, you could really set off a major panic if he left.

 

These are my final comments to you. I will leave all further comments to others here and to the professionals who will be working with you to stabilize your brain chemistry and help you with your anger, depression and other issues. I want you to work to improve your life whether he is around or not. The decision is completely yours.