W...W...WTF just happened?

[tami-chan]

Well, you chose to be the OM and some one's mistress.

 

This comment is needless. It is almost equal to telling a BW who is crying her out because she loves her cheating husband: "well you married and chose to stay with a cheat". See, how that works?

[tami-chan]

Why are you leaving me out?

 

oh....lol..why indeed?

[tami-chan]

You're so ignorant. When the wife married his husband, she was not a fortune teller. She didn't know that he WILL cheat. The wife was already in a legal marriage and lots of times with assets and family comingled as well as children invovolved. The other woman, aka mistress, not so much. She knowingly have sex with someone else's husband. If you can't tell the difference, you need to get yourself educated.

 

Ahhh... and he misses the point..

[twinsmom]

You're so ignorant. When the wife married his husband, she was not a fortune teller. She didn't know that he WILL cheat. The wife was already in a legal marriage and lots of times with assets and family comingled as well as children invovolved. The other woman, aka mistress, not so much. She knowingly have sex with someone else's husband. If you can't tell the difference, you need to get yourself educated.

 

You're so ignorant..

[tami-chan]

Be quite. You're a mistress.

 

Be "quite"? and I need an education???? No darling, I WAS a mistress, whose MM divorced his wife because he wanted to marry me (among other things).

[twinsmom]

You're so ignorant..

 

Get the `2122233W off this thread,

[KarmasTestDummy]

Oooewww, Karma...you know what? I think you're right...I just read that link, & knowing what I know of their history, yep. To a T. That's why she still lives there. On her moving day, she decided she didnt like the (brand shiny new) apartment enough & told him flat out, I'M NOT MOVING. PERIOD. TOO BAD SO SAD. And he ate it right up. And the before that, when he told her about us (3 mos after they had broken up), it was UHMMM, I DON'T THINK SO MISTER, YOU DONT GET TO REPLACE ME SO FAST - YOU GET RIGHT BACK HERE. And he ate it right up.

 

Thinking back, the only tiffs we've ever had, he's made a mountain out of a mole hill...always has me dumbfounded & scrambling to clean up the mess, but really he's trying to incite me to biatch it up. Holllly cow. I feel like I just struck oil. Wanna split the profits with me? LOL

 

wow. Well, if he's looking for a biatch, I'm def not it. Of course, he might be surprised at the biatch he encounters if he ever shows his face to me again, I'll tell ya what!

 

Hmmm...more details flooding back, this is so, so on the money. Pffft. starts with a p-, ends with a -ussy.

 

Gotta love those oh so precious moments of clarity! Getting inside the psyche of the way your man operates is so freeing emotionally. Believe me, knowing this will make all the bells and whistles go off in ur head next time he decides to overreact and instigate. You have two choices, scurry around like a scared mouse ( like you did today, leaving him with a lack of respect and probably even a huge turnoff) or you can grow some lady balls, tell him what you really think and maybe even get him to cowar back a step and think oh wow!...or you can decide he's a total azz and tell him to F off. Personally I think the last two are about the only thing that will leave your pride in tact and him fortunate or unfortunate depending on your take, still wildly interested and intrigued by you.

[alexandria35]

Okay, I haven't read the whole thread so maybe this has already been mentioned by someone else, but I'm a little surprised and uncomfortable with the one or two posters who are blaming this assclowns behavior on the wife/gf or whatever. This is guy is a manipulative controlling jerk and I would bet money that he behaves exactly the same way with his gf and his gf probably responds in much the same way as the OP did. Sweetly trying to defend and explain herself while he twists and turns everything so that she looks like a bitch and he gets to be the hurt victim. I have met this guy and I know how the game is played. And you know what else? I have known the truly nice guys with the crazy bitchy wives and they didn't behave like asses. Haven't we all been hurt at one time or another in our lives? Haven't most of us dealt with having a bad/bitchy partner? Did that turn us all into lunatics who can't carry on a rational conversation? No it didn't! Your MM behaved that way because that is who he is...Period!! It's not because his wife is a bitch, or because nobody has ever really loved him the way you do, or any other excuses you are making up for him. He is a jerk! He was a jerk before you came along and he was a jerk before his gf came along and he will likely continue being a jerk until the cows come home. I'm sorry if this sounds strong but the number one enabler for guys like this are the women that love them and make excuses for them. To me it's just crazy that he would behave that way and you would somehow find a way to blame that on his gf. His gf is putting up with the same bull****. Like I said, I'd bet money on it.

[Hazyhead]

It's Never Forever, don't feel bad, I agree with wwip, he's manipulating you. He has twisted the conversation to make you in the wrong, that way when he blanks you, or guilts you into doing something on his terms, you feel you have to because you should make it up to him.

 

Tell him to jog on, hon and enjoy your Christmas time.

 

Hugs

Hazy

[Fieldsofgold]

Always so good to see love, peace and good will toward men flowing in the spirit of the holiday season

 

INF, I think this guy is really a passive-aggressive jerk!

 

I can't add anything to what Fooled Once, JThorne, BB07 have posted. All excellent posts.

 

I'm just sorry you wasted one minute of your precious holiday thinking about this pig in man's clothing.

 

(I've been told on these forums that it is not nice to call MM losers, so I'm being careful to avoid that!)

 

I think calling you a drive-by shooter, besides being disrespectful, insulting, manipulative and belittling of you, probably is intended to mean you are sniping him with "hurtful" one-liners. What a waste of skin he is!

 

Hope the rest of the day was/is great for you!

[Fieldsofgold]

Okay, I haven't read the whole thread so maybe this has already been mentioned by someone else, but I'm a little surprised and uncomfortable with the one or two posters who are blaming this assclowns behavior on the wife/gf or whatever. This is guy is a manipulative controlling jerk and I would bet money that he behaves exactly the same way with his gf and his gf probably responds in much the same way as the OP did. Sweetly trying to defend and explain herself while he twists and turns everything so that she looks like a bitch and he gets to be the hurt victim. I have met this guy and I know how the game is played. And you know what else? I have known the truly nice guys with the crazy bitchy wives and they didn't behave like asses. Haven't we all been hurt at one time or another in our lives? Haven't most of us dealt with having a bad/bitchy partner? Did that turn us all into lunatics who can't carry on a rational conversation? No it didn't! Your MM behaved that way because that is who he is...Period!! It's not because his wife is a bitch, or because nobody has ever really loved him the way you do, or any other excuses you are making up for him. He is a jerk! He was a jerk before you came along and he was a jerk before his gf came along and he will likely continue being a jerk until the cows come home. I'm sorry if this sounds strong but the number one enabler for guys like this are the women that love them and make excuses for them. To me it's just crazy that he would behave that way and you would somehow find a way to blame that on his gf. His gf is putting up with the same bull****. Like I said, I'd bet money on it.

 

THIS, THIS, THIS!!! This is exceptional insight into what is going on with this man!

 

Excellent post!

[Ms. Red]

This was given to me at one time when all I heard about was what a biatch the wife was and ut did truly resonate...especially to your situation where he's almost instigating and trying to force a fight out of something so idiotic.

 

http://www.gloryb.com/emerald/workthing.html

 

The fact of the matter is some men like a biatch and feed off the drama.

 

Interesting opinion. It seems plausible.

 

Oooewww, Karma...you know what? I think you're right...I just read that link, & knowing what I know of their history, yep. To a T. That's why she still lives there. On her moving day, she decided she didnt like the (brand shiny new) apartment enough & told him flat out, I'M NOT MOVING. PERIOD. TOO BAD SO SAD. And he ate it right up. And the before that, when he told her about us (3 mos after they had broken up), it was UHMMM, I DON'T THINK SO MISTER, YOU DONT GET TO REPLACE ME SO FAST - YOU GET RIGHT BACK HERE. And he ate it right up.

 

Thinking back, the only tiffs we've ever had, he's made a mountain out of a mole hill...always has me dumbfounded & scrambling to clean up the mess, but really he's trying to incite me to biatch it up. Holllly cow. I feel like I just struck oil. Wanna split the profits with me? LOL

 

wow. Well, if he's looking for a biatch, I'm def not it. Of course, he might be surprised at the biatch he encounters if he ever shows his face to me again, I'll tell ya what!

 

Hmmm...more details flooding back, this is so, so on the money. Pffft. starts with a p-, ends with a -ussy.

 

Hi INF, I hope you're still doing better since your OP. What I was wondering is, out of pure curiosity, what if you did become a bitch also like you think the wife is. Apparently that turns on the TOWdipper. Imagine the emotional tug-o-war that would do on his submissive psych.

[jthorne]

Oh goof grief! I get up this morning and see a bunch of email notices of pm's. So I log in, and here's all this yapyapyap sniping at each other that doesn't do anything to help the OP. Or my hangover, for that matter.

 

OP, you know this guy's an idiot, and a messed up one at that. You seem like a cool chick, you can get other guys that won't treat you like this. Why bother wondering the where, when, why... You decided he wasn't the one for you, even though you still have feelings for him. You had a backstep on the holiday. Ok, fine.

 

Pick yourself up, know that you are one cool cat worthy of a lot of love from a guy with his head screwed on straight. And you know this guy ain't it.

 

So on with the show. Make plans with friends, go out one New Year's, have fun with people that care about you, count your blessings, plan for a better year next year.

 

Peace out. I'm going back to bed providing hubby hasn't sprawled himself all over my side.

 

(Oh, PS... Those people that fall under the "reformed" category didn't give themselves that name. It was put upon them by others who wished to discredit them. No different than the "bitter BS". Some just see it as the joke that it is, and go with it.IME, labels say more about the one giving the label, than the one receiving it.)

(Oh another PS: Merry Christmas, Tony. I hope you don't have a hangover, and I hope you don't have to see this post to decide whether to delete it. The yapyapyap was a joke.)

Edited December 26, 2010 by jthorne

[ItsNeverForever]

Interesting opinion. It seems plausible.

 

 

 

Hi INF, I hope you're still doing better since your OP. What I was wondering is, out of pure curiosity, what if you did become a bitch also like you think the wife is. Apparently that turns on the TOWdipper. Imagine the emotional tug-o-war that would do on his submissive psych.

 

HAHAHAHA! I thought about that for a few minutes last night when I read the EMAIL he sent me @ 10pm...!!! WTH, that poop replied to an old email of mine, all happy & sweet like nothing had happened. Must have been drinking & feeling guilty. Dumba$$

 

So, I thought, boy, how much fun would It be to respond & just lay into him & have HIS head swimming, have HIM scrambling like a little mouse! But know what? I have better things to do.

[bentnotbroken]

HAHAHAHA! I thought about that for a few minutes last night when I read the EMAIL he sent me @ 10pm...!!! WTH, that poop replied to an old email of mine, all happy & sweet like nothing had happened. Must have been drinking & feeling guilty. Dumba$$

 

So, I thought, boy, how much fun would It be to respond & just lay into him & have HIS head swimming, have HIM scrambling like a little mouse! But know what? I have better things to do.

 

 

I would forward each and everyone to his GF/BS. The Jackwagon!

[ItsNeverForever]

I would forward each and everyone to his GF/BS. The Jackwagon!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He IS a Jackwagon! Straight outta Namby-Pamby Land! I do have her email address...and that reminds me...to the poster who hollered @ me about not knowing what really goes on in his home: I know a LOT. I won't say how, but x"MM" would soil his little submissive "I'm a big boy now!" pull-ups if he knew what I know and how I know it. Pffft- a large portion of my intel comes straight from the horse's (babymama) biiiig mouth. Neiiiiigggh!!!

 

She would flip the fook out if I forwarded incriminating evidence to her. Even though they're not living as happy little family, & they certainly didn't celebrate happy little Christmas together (he & kiddo celebrated alone yesterday), she still 'owns' him & I could sure make his home life heaps worse if I wanted to. I consider it at least once a day!

[Fieldsofgold]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He IS a Jackwagon! Straight outta Namby-Pamby Land! I do have her email address...and that reminds me...to the poster who hollered @ me about not knowing what really goes on in his home: I know a LOT. I won't say how, but x"MM" would soil his little submissive "I'm a big boy now!" pull-ups if he knew what I know and how I know it. Pffft- a large portion of my intel comes straight from the horse's (babymama) biiiig mouth. Neiiiiigggh!!!

 

She would flip the fook out if I forwarded incriminating evidence to her. Even though they're not living as happy little family, & they certainly didn't celebrate happy little Christmas together (he & kiddo celebrated alone yesterday), she still 'owns' him & I could sure make his home life heaps worse if I wanted to. I consider it at least once a day!

 

Oh.My.Gosh.Dobbin! Have you been snooping, spying, eavesdropping on his W? That is pretty jackwagon in itself; totally uncool. And totally so not you!

 

Please, get away from this trainwreck of a relationship and regain your dignity and self-respect. You are SOOOO better than that!

[ItsNeverForever]

Oh.My.Gosh.Dobbin! Have you been snooping, spying, eavesdropping on his W? That is pretty jackwagon in itself; totally uncool. And totally so not you!

 

Please, get away from this trainwreck of a relationship and regain your dignity and self-respect. You are SOOOO better than that!

 

Nope, don't have to snoop, it's all offered to me. 'nuff said. Nonetheless, you're right, I'm so much better than all this C-R-A-P!

 

Off to have a great day with the fam.

[fooled once]

...and thank you, Fooled. I honestly needed that kick In the pants I can always count on you for! LOL

 

I hope you know my post to you was not meant to hurt you -- I just want you to see you are better than all that. You are better than what he is doing to you and you deserve better than all this drama.

 

It's obvious she's bitter.....that was my point. There is no "AND"

 

Yet another person who throws out bitter when they don't like what someone posted.

 

Ahh, yet another long time reader aka reborn LS member....

 

Bent is a caring and supportive person, harsh like many of us at times, but she is honest. If she didn't care she wouldn't be replying.. Instead of assuming one is bitter or you may think you know where she stands, why not take a step back and be abit more objective?

 

DITTO! Bent is someone I admire and someone I am happy to call "a friend". She rocks!

 

Okay, I haven't read the whole thread so maybe this has already been mentioned by someone else, but I'm a little surprised and uncomfortable with the one or two posters who are blaming this assclowns behavior on the wife/gf or whatever. This is guy is a manipulative controlling jerk and I would bet money that he behaves exactly the same way with his gf and his gf probably responds in much the same way as the OP did. Sweetly trying to defend and explain herself while he twists and turns everything so that she looks like a bitch and he gets to be the hurt victim. I have met this guy and I know how the game is played. And you know what else? I have known the truly nice guys with the crazy bitchy wives and they didn't behave like asses. Haven't we all been hurt at one time or another in our lives? Haven't most of us dealt with having a bad/bitchy partner? Did that turn us all into lunatics who can't carry on a rational conversation? No it didn't! Your MM behaved that way because that is who he is...Period!! It's not because his wife is a bitch, or because nobody has ever really loved him the way you do, or any other excuses you are making up for him. He is a jerk! He was a jerk before you came along and he was a jerk before his gf came along and he will likely continue being a jerk until the cows come home. I'm sorry if this sounds strong but the number one enabler for guys like this are the women that love them and make excuses for them. To me it's just crazy that he would behave that way and you would somehow find a way to blame that on his gf. His gf is putting up with the same bull****. Like I said, I'd bet money on it.

 

alexandria --- excellent post!!!

[starlight102]

Yet another person who throws out bitter when they don't like what someone posted.

 

It's not that I don't like what was posted, it was HOW it was delivered. I have been on the other side of the coin when I was married and was the BS so I KNOW exactly what it feels like. Nobody here can tell me what it feels like to be the BS or the OW. I know because I've lived it.

[Ellin]

Ahh, yet another long time reader aka reborn LS member....

 

Bent is a caring and supportive person, harsh like many of us at times, but she is honest. If she didn't care she wouldn't be replying.. Instead of assuming one is bitter or you may think you know where she stands, why not take a step back and be abit more objective?

One doesn't have to be on LS for a long time to come across MANY posts by BNB and get the feel of her style.

[bentnotbroken]

One doesn't have to be on LS for a long time to come across MANY posts by BNB and get the feel of her style.

 

 

Makes me proud.

[fooled once]

It's not that I don't like what was posted, it was HOW it was delivered. I have been on the other side of the coin when I was married and was the BS so I KNOW exactly what it feels like. Nobody here can tell me what it feels like to be the BS or the OW. I know because I've lived it.

 

so are you deciding again how people can post? haven't you beaten this to death already? Tony gets to decide, not you, not me, not former now banned members who have come back as a new member, etc.

 

Tony gets to make this call.

 

And no two persons experience the same feelings/emotions when they are in relationships. Maybe in your former relationship where you were cheated on, it was fine with you because you may believe that people can't be owned and a person should only be with someone because they want to, not because of a promise

 

So if you didn't like HOW it was delivered, why did you use the word bitter?? Instead of name calling, why not just ignore BnB if you find her posts not to your liking?

[Heather1]

I've had weird incidents like this before, like he's picking a fight?

 

Really though, you said you missed him & he said he missed you back & you kind of pushed it after that to a "you don't mean it." It takes a lot for guys to say they miss you.

 

I told MM I missed him & he said, "thanks." Ouch.

 

He's been sending me a few emails, one Merry Christmas late last night (where I replied "thanks"). Nothing more than a sentence & no drama. Here's how I'm taking it....I'm moving on with my life & making no plans w/ him ever again. He's going into the "reject" pile.

 

No matter what we think of their BS's (& I have some guesses, but I actually like that he's never said anything bad about her), they're still M'd. I think if one person in the A decides to work on their M & stop the A, that should be honored w/ little anger as possible. Love's a crapshoot anyway, but choosing this route makes the stakes higher for getting crushed, over & over, loving & crushing 2 people.

[whichwayisup]

I think if one person in the A decides to work on their M & stop the A, that should be honored w/ little anger as possible.

 

This is good and healthy thinking. A MM or MW a right to change their minds, even if they chose an affair to begin with..At some point in time if they realize it's wrong, or they want out and want to fix things at home, they should be able to change their minds. An OW or OM has a right to be upset, feel hurt but to try to pull out all stops to try to get him/her to not go back to the marriage isn't right.