heartsick

[smalls]

Hi,

 

I have been in a relationship with a guy(I'm female) for the past 6 months. He is 2 years older than I am and we met purely by chance. ( He came back to the collage I attend on a semester internship and we've been dating ever since).He took a job here and even turned down several excellant offers for other positions further away. I wondered why he stayed b/c we haven't been dating for very long and someone suggested it was because of me. I have a year left in school and no real plans after graduation. My boyfriend was in a very hurtful relationship six years ago that has damaged his trust. He has had several longterm girlfriends in the past six years but has never told any of them that he loved them. The L-word has been floatin around for the past 3 months but had never been spoken until recently, by me. Of course, he freaked out. Last night we talked and I told him that until he learns to trust me and open his heart he will never fall in love again, which is something he really wants but is terrified of doing. I'm scared too, but I let him go. I am in love with him and feel he's the one. We have a terrific relationship, are great friends and have an amazing sex life(he says its on a whole new level). I know that by letting him have some space to decide if he's ready to trust me was the right thing to do. But I'm terrified he won't be back. I don't want to loose him. I also know I hit home when I told he needed to be honest with himself about how he feels about me because he cried. This man never shows any emotion regardless of his feelings and he held me tight and cried big tears for almost an hour. I think this is harder on him than it is on me and I'm the one who is letting go. I guess all I really want to know is will he come back to me or is he a lost cause? So far I have been the only one to get this close to him, he told me so. He feels his heart is thawing and I was the one to make it thaw. Please tell me what my chances are.

[Tony T]

I'd say your chances of this relationship being a happening thing are 70 percent, providing you continue communicating and working together to help him through the massive head stuff he needs to get rid of.

 

Don't fret, your chances of winning the lottery are a hell of a lot worse.

[Taressa]

You are one smart lady; I admire your strength and your understanding. You probably already knew the answer before you posted your question: only time will tell.

 

I know you don't want to lose him but the choice is his to make now. The next few days will be the telling point of his character. Will he overcome or will he choose to remain in the past. I'll be hoping he'll take a chance and choose to proceed with your relationship. You sound like a rare catch.

 

Your maturity and self-respect are a lesson to us all.

 

Stay strong.