I'm in love with this girl but she's got a boyfriend - What do I do?

[carhill]

I just feel like she only went to him because he lives closer and had a car. I didn't when we were hanging out and I live about 30 minutes away and he lives about 3. When classes started, we really couldn't hang out just because she went from 5am-6pm nonstop from waking up to getting off work each day. She'd have to go out of her way to come to my house and she always had hw and since he lived really close and could come to her, they could just get closer.

 

This is why I presumed you didn't have a car. Why didn't you just drive to her place?

[Kain Highwind]

This is why I presumed you didn't have a car. Why didn't you just drive to her place?

Just got the car a few weeks ago lol

[Surrealist]

Kainey, Kainey, Kainey!! What did I tell you? Has all my effort gone to waste?

 

You should be preparing a love letter, or a beautiful love card, expressing in detail, your love for your princess , how you feel about her, the hopes and dreams of your future with her, the happiness that she will feel (yes be mindful of her benefits of being with you, that's how sales people work, they don't sell products, they sell dreams!) with you as you tell her some wonderful things of what the future will hold when she is with you.

 

Now as you have indicated, you wait until such time they break up, then she will feel disillusioned and upset, so this is when your letter will come into the plan, and boy will it be a powerful courting tool as you woo her with your love and she will see that and the consideration and thought that you have invested into her, seriously let me tell you brother, it will be very hard for her to just ignore the proposal!! So stop seeking validation on these dating forums and get to work on drafting the most beautiful love letter you have ever done!

[dont-be-naive]

I doubt she'll leave him for me

 

I do see him leaving for someone else though

 

but if she did leave him for you, why would you want someone that is so fickle and would better deal you the minute they could?

[Kain Highwind]

but if she did leave him for you, why would you want someone that is so fickle and would better deal you the minute they could?

I'd just have to trust that she wouldn't do it

 

and I know she's not the kind of girl to do it. Its happened to her before

[dont-be-naive]

I'd just have to trust that she wouldn't do it

 

whats my username? there is your answer.

[Kain Highwind]

whats my username? there is your answer.

She's been really hurt by someone that's done that to her

 

I don't expect her to do that for him or myself

[dont-be-naive]

She's been really hurt by someone that's done that to her

 

I don't expect her to do that for him or myself

 

point was if she DID leave him for you, what would you really be getting?

 

now if the relationship fails later and she isn't leaving for anyone else, then you will have your chance and wouldn't be with someone that better deals people.

[Kain Highwind]

point was if she DID leave him for you, what would you really be getting?

 

now if the relationship fails later and she isn't leaving for anyone else, then you will have your chance and wouldn't be with someone that better deals people.

the thign is, you really can't tell until after it happens

 

She may leave him to get with me only to leave me. I highly doubt it but I do admit it as a possibility. At the same time, she may leave him and it may last. There's now ay of telling

[Kain Highwind]

And sort of related

 

I saw an old friend for the first time in like a year today. He goes to my college but we just sort of drifted apart. First thing he asks me is if I know this girl, I say yes and ask why, and apparently he had a few classes with her and he said that she always talked about me and how awesome I am and **** like that and that she pretty much said alot of good things about me

[carhill]

You can be 'awesome' and that can have absolutely nothing to do with a 'girl' wanting to ride you. Great life lesson. If you are awesome and she *did* want to ride you, her current BF would be an -exBF in ten seconds. Simple as that.

[Kain Highwind]

You can be 'awesome' and that can have absolutely nothing to do with a 'girl' wanting to ride you. Great life lesson. If you are awesome and she *did* want to ride you, her current BF would be an -exBF in ten seconds. Simple as that.

True, but ther were other things and he said that she couldn't stop talking about me

 

She never acted like that about her other friends when we hung out

[Woman In Blue]

I just don't see them lasting long at all. I know their best friend and he said that her bf is the kind of guy to have a new girl like every other week :/

LOL. That's what young people your age DO - change boyfriends/girlfriends like most people change their socks.

 

You sound like a lovesick teenager but believe it or not, you WILL survive this crush and move on to other relationships that are actually reciprocal. This one is not.

 

Ten years from now, she'll be just a distant but fond memory of your college years.

[Kain Highwind]

LOL. That's what young people your age DO - change boyfriends/girlfriends like most people change their socks.

 

You sound like a lovesick teenager but believe it or not, you WILL survive this crush and move on to other relationships that are actually reciprocal. This one is not.

 

Ten years from now, she'll be just a distant but fond memory of your college years.

I'm 20 :/

 

My dad got with my mom like two years younger than me. My cousins met their husbands at this age :/

[Nightsky]

You aren’t any one but yourself. Stop worrying about every one else and enjoy.

[Kain Highwind]

You aren’t any one but yourself. Stop worrying about every one else and enjoy.

I'm trying to enjoy

 

I know I would with her... I've had a ton of small crushes like that other person talked about but this has been different :/

[Nightsky]

You already know the truth and that’s why you’ve been upset. There’s a good chance you’ll never be with her. You love the idea of her. You never got to know her romantically.

[Kain Highwind]

You already know the truth and that’s why you’ve been upset. There’s a good chance you’ll never be with her. You love the idea of her. You never got to know her romantically.

But at the same time, I think there's a good chance I will be

 

We spent enough nights together alone for me to have a pretty big romantic feeling

[Nightsky]

You hung out with her, but then school started. School got in the way because there was nothing to get in the way of. Then you finally asked her out after she had a single date with another guy. She told you she only dates one guy at a time and you focused on that. But she isn’t the line at the deli. She likes that guy in a way she doesn’t like you.

 

Sure things might change, but you weren’t on any romantic path. I’m using the information you supplied to me. Your own information shows you fully understand everything. The only disconnect is the way you are thinking about it. If you move on with your life your chances with this girl only go up, and you won’t care. If you focus on this your chances go down and it’s stressful.

[Kain Highwind]

You hung out with her, but then school started. School got in the way because there was nothing to get in the way of. Then you finally asked her out after she had a single date with another guy. She told you she only dates one guy at a time and you focused on that. But she isn’t the line at the deli. She likes that guy in a way she doesn’t like you.

 

Sure things might change, but you weren’t on any romantic path. I’m using the information you supplied to me. Your own information shows you fully understand everything. The only disconnect is the way you are thinking about it. If you move on with your life your chances with this girl only go up, and you won’t care. If you focus on this your chances go down and it’s stressful.

The thing is.. I realize what you're saying but I don't wanna not care...

 

And it sort of did. She went from about 5 am to 6 pm straight, took about 45 minutes to get home, had homework, she seriously didn't have the time to hang out like she did before

 

It was really stressing her out. I mean, when I saw her the other day, she said she's only gonna be taking one class this coming semester

[Nightsky]

I know you don’t want to. But you must realize there is a better way.

 

I believe she was very busy, but that didn’t stop her from dating another guy. So why are you letting her stop you from moving on with your life?

 

You’ve painted the picture for us so well. Now see what I see.

[Kain Highwind]

I know you don’t want to. But you must realize there is a better way.

 

I believe she was very busy, but that didn’t stop her from dating another guy. So why are you letting her stop you from moving on with your life?

 

You’ve painted the picture for us so well. Now see what I see.

the difference between him and I though is that he's pretty much within walking distance while I'm really out of the way

 

I'm not denying that she likes him but I just think that this partly because of that

 

Now that I have a car and now that she won't be as busy, if they split up, I think I may have it

[Nightsky]

the difference between him and I though is that he's pretty much within walking distance while I'm really out of the way

 

I'm not denying that she likes him but I just think that this partly because of that

 

Now that I have a car and now that she won't be as busy, if they split up, I think I may have it

 

You're missing my view, but you’ll learn with time.

[Kain Highwind]

You're missing my view, but you’ll learn with time.

eh, if I understand you right, you want me to move on

 

I don't want to yet because I think it'll happen really soon

[seibert253]

If you've got time to waste, so be it. What the heck, wait, be patient, and see what happens. I wouldn't wait any more than a month or two. If they haven't parted ways by then, it's unlikely they will anytime soon.