I'm in love with this girl but she's got a boyfriend - What do I do?

[Kain Highwind]

If you've got time to waste, so be it. What the heck, wait, be patient, and see what happens. I wouldn't wait any more than a month or two. If they haven't parted ways by then, it's unlikely they will anytime soon.

That's what I was planning

 

I mean, I don't start class again for nearly a month so I really don't have a chance to meet anyone else lol

 

And I remembered something that is almost a sure sign that she liked me so that's a good sign (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258670/)

[Lovegood]

This screams "friendzoned" to me. Kain, if she liked you back in that way then it would have happened already. You are young, there will be others. I know you won't understand now, but you will shortly. Have fun while you can my dear! You sound like a sweet kid, so find a nice girl who feels that way about YOU!

[Distant78]

This screams "friendzoned" to me. Kain, if she liked you back in that way then it would have happened already. You are young, there will be others. I know you won't understand now, but you will shortly. Have fun while you can my dear! You sound like a sweet kid, so find a nice girl who feels that way about YOU!

 

Exactly. Stop trying to mess with someone else's girl and find your own. If you will pull her away from her boyfriend she's capable of doing the same to you very easily.

[Kain Highwind]

This screams "friendzoned" to me. Kain, if she liked you back in that way then it would have happened already. You are young, there will be others. I know you won't understand now, but you will shortly. Have fun while you can my dear! You sound like a sweet kid, so find a nice girl who feels that way about YOU!

I've been friend zoned before

 

This was different than those (...yeah) times. She never came to me with personal problems or anything

[NoLongerSad]

Kain, what happened that time you put your arms around her in a passionate romantic embrace, and gave her a nice big smooch on the lips?

 

Was she receptive to it, or did she reject you?

 

If you never tried to do this, then no, there is no hope she will ever be your gf, you are just in a total fantasy world, and it is extremely unhealthy. You need to move beyond this immediately, she has moved beyond you.

[NoLongerSad]

That's what I was planning

 

I mean, I don't start class again for nearly a month so I really don't have a chance to meet anyone else lol

 

And I remembered something that is almost a sure sign that she liked me so that's a good sign (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258670/)

 

 

She MAY have liked you well enough at some point in the PAST but you did NOT step up to the plate and try to turn her from "friend" into a girlfriend.

 

You have lost your chance, assuming you ever had one.

 

But, you know what?

 

Even if you want to try to get her to be your gf now, just "waiting" is exactly the WRONG approach. You have to point blank tell her how you feel.

 

You lay it on the line for her and she will either accept you or reject you. Most likely reject you at this point because NOW she has a boyfriend.

 

Just waiting for something to happen is not going to work for you, anymore than it did while you were giving her guitar lessons but not doing anything to move the relationship forward.

 

You're too passive, you're enmeshed in your own internal fantasy world, you're so afraid of rejection that you're never giving her a chance to accept you.

[Kain Highwind]

Kain, what happened that time you put your arms around her in a passionate romantic embrace, and gave her a nice big smooch on the lips?

 

Was she receptive to it, or did she reject you?

 

If you never tried to do this, then no, there is no hope she will ever be your gf, you are just in a total fantasy world, and it is extremely unhealthy. You need to move beyond this immediately, she has moved beyond you.

Most I did was a ksis on the cheek (was going for the lips but some things happened and I had to improvise >_>)

 

She seemed to like it. I remember her just feeling her cheek and then really starting to smile

[Distant78]

It doesn't matter at this point. She's with someone else. She's moved on. How is that loving when you're plan is to wait on the sidelines to mess around with a girl who's already taken. How heartless is that. Just total disregard for other's feelings. And even if she does cheat on her current boyfriend and leave him for you, she's capable of doing the same thing that she did previously. There's plenty of women to find. Why sit around and moan and groan for some chick you knew years ago that you were scared to talk to. Not trying to be mean but damn, please don't do something reckless.

[Kain Highwind]

It doesn't matter at this point. She's with someone else. She's moved on. How is that loving when you're plan is to wait on the sidelines to mess around with a girl who's already taken. How heartless is that. Just total disregard for other's feelings. And even if she does cheat on her current boyfriend and leave him for you, she's capable of doing the same thing that she did previously. There's plenty of women to find. Why sit around and moan and groan for some chick you knew years ago that you were scared to talk to. Not trying to be mean but damn, please don't do something reckless.

Um.... I think you may be misunderstanding me

 

I'm not gonna go between them. I respect her way too much. The onyl way I'll do something is if they split up and I can very easily see them doing that, which is why I'm waiting for now

 

And I didn't know her years ago. We just met each other like last September >_>

[Distant78]

Um.... I think you may be misunderstanding me

 

I'm not gonna go between them. I respect her way too much. The onyl way I'll do something is if they split up and I can very easily see them doing that, which is why I'm waiting for now

 

And I didn't know her years ago. We just met each other like last September >_>

 

I don't think I'm misunderstanding you. I said before, waiting on the sidelines to jump the gun is completely pointless. You don't know when they're going to split up and how do you know she'll just be waiting in open arms for you? If anything you'll just be a rebound to her even if she does accept you. It's not like you guys were together in the first place. There's other hot chicks out there dude.

[Kain Highwind]

I don't think I'm misunderstanding you. I said before, waiting on the sidelines to jump the gun is completely pointless. You don't know when they're going to split up and how do you know she'll just be waiting in open arms for you? If anything you'll just be a rebound to her even if she does accept you. It's not like you guys were together in the first place. There's other hot chicks out there dude.

I think even a rebound may be worth it

 

I really do care about her and if I could just get the chance to show her, it may work out

[Distant78]

I think even a rebound may be worth it

 

I really do care about her and if I could just get the chance to show her, it may work out

 

Well waiting on the sidelines is not going to help. And rebounds rarely last. If you care, stalking her shouldn't be on the menu.

[Kain Highwind]

Well waiting on the sidelines is not going to help. And rebounds rarely last. If you care, stalking her shouldn't be on the menu.

I'm not stalking?

[Cracker Jack]

You're just obsessing at this point. It's unfortunate, considering I went through the same thing with a friend, but it was much tougher since sex was involved. I think you need to just stop looking for all of these hypothetical situations that could take place in her relationship and just move on.

[Kain Highwind]

You're just obsessing at this point. It's unfortunate, considering I went through the same thing with a friend, but it was much tougher since sex was involved. I think you need to just stop looking for all of these hypothetical situations that could take place in her relationship and just move on.

I'm like 95% sure she liked me though :/

 

I seriously think I'd have a really good chance if they split up and since she's like the girl of my dreams... Yeah lol

[Distant78]

You're just obsessing at this point. It's unfortunate, considering I went through the same thing with a friend, but it was much tougher since sex was involved. I think you need to just stop looking for all of these hypothetical situations that could take place in her relationship and just move on.

 

Agreed 100%. No need to wait to pounce on one woman.

[Kain Highwind]

Agreed 100%. No need to wait to pounce on one woman.

I'd agree if the waiting was like a year but I'm just doing it until like classes start again

 

There's really nothing else I can do right now besides this >_>

[Bridgey]

Ok kain, I'm going to try to level with you, because you seem very determined. I have two questions. 1. How long have they been together? And 2. Why -exactly- do you feel like she liked you. Everyone here seems pretty convinced you are nothing more than a friend to her, but you seem to think otherwise. Why? What are you not telling us that makes you feel like she truely liked you? If you can't give specific details then I really think you are just going on wishful thinking. I read the post about the guitar lessons. That's a bit of a start. What else?

[Distant78]

But why wait though? She's in a relationship. I personally wouldn't want a woman who I knew a year ago come up to me after I just had a breakup with someone.

[Kain Highwind]

Ok kain, I'm going to try to level with you, because you seem very determined. I have two questions. 1. How long have they been together? And 2. Why -exactly- do you feel like she liked you. Everyone here seems pretty convinced you are nothing more than a friend to her, but you seem to think otherwise. Why? What are you not telling us that makes you feel like she truely liked you? If you can't give specific details then I really think you are just going on wishful thinking. I read the post about the guitar lessons. That's a bit of a start. What else?

1. Barely two months

 

2. She said that she talked to me more than any of her other friends. She wanted it to be just us on my birthday and didn't want any of my friends to be there (said like just us and stuff like that), she got me a birthday present like two months after my birthday, her friend told me that when they were hanging out once, she kept on going on about how awesome I am and that she seemed to be getting caught up in her emotions before quickly saying things like "but just as a friend", like she knew that she got carried away (my other friend that had a class with her said she kept on ding the same thing, but not the "friend" part), she invited me to go to one of her classes with her (which afaik she didnt' do for anyone else except for him), she always called/texted me, leading up to my birthday, she kept on saying she was so excited and that she was gonna make me a cake (which she didn't because she got sick), she didn't mind when I started to flirt (didn't get far but she liked it when I tickled her), and we were just like way closer than she is to her other friends.

 

Also, we listened to like a ton of romantic/relationship music. Like, she made a cd just of romantic songs "for us" when we were in her car (Iris, Dig/Stellar (Incubus), alot of Beatles, Thinking About You (Radiohead), Head Over Feet, etc)

Edited December 30, 2010 by Kain Highwind

[Bridgey]

All of those things are very sweet, but none of them are things that scream "I'm in love with you". All of those things are things I would do/say about my best guy friend, who means the world to me, but who I would -never- date. If you absolutely must wait another month until classes start to see if they break up, so be it. Just keep in mind, the longer they stay together, the less likely they'll randomly break up, like you're hoping they will. Once classes start back up, and they are still together, let her go and start the healing process.

[Kain Highwind]

All of those things are very sweet, but none of them are things that scream "I'm in love with you". All of those things are things I would do/say about my best guy friend, who means the world to me, but who I would -never- date. If you absolutely must wait another month until classes start to see if they break up, so be it. Just keep in mind, the longer they stay together, the less likely they'll randomly break up, like you're hoping they will. Once classes start back up, and they are still together, let her go and start the healing process.

Well, she never did them with her best guy friend afaik (one of my friends)

 

And I did get her to say "I love you" once lol (even thoguh itw as just a happiness thing. I told her I got a certain movie and she was just like "OMG _______ I LOVE YOU!")

[Distant78]

What healing process Bridgey?lol

[Kain Highwind]

Oh, I think she was doing some flirting of her own too

 

I just remembered this. One time, she said she was having trouble with a class and since its one I know alot about, I offered to help. She just said like "Are you being serious or do you just wanna spend time with me?"

 

That counts, right?

[Darren Steez]

You seem be to analysing every single detail, every single thing she said, the way she looked at you, the way her eyebrows jumped up when she said "biscuit", but for all your analyse and reading of her "actions" towards you you missed out on one glaring fact...she's dating another dude!! God she could be kissing the guy and giving you a wink and someone you'd read that as a sign she wants to be with you. Obviously nothing is going to dent whatever delusion you have of having a relationship with you and I bet she knows this to, so she can date whomever she likes because you'll always be there as a number 2,3,4 and 5..just not number 1.