fun2bewith Posted December 27, 2010 Share Posted December 27, 2010 I hope after 60 days you feel better... Cut your losses and go: I think if you have accepted that it is over when you start NC then by day 60 you would feel much better and will be able to go on with your life...maybe still miss the person, but without the intense hurt... However creating expectation: If you are hoping that he/she will come back after 60 days of NC, you would only feel disappointed when he/she doesn't make contact with you. Then what is the point of putting your self through NC if you are still hoping? Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted December 27, 2010 Share Posted December 27, 2010 I'm on day 37 after going NC immediately. I was hoping that NC after time would kill off that hope I had in the early days. At the moment I'm still riding that rollercoaster. Why I'm still on it I don't know. She's a stranger to me now. I think it's just the residual dreams of what we could have had or the companionship dying out. Link to post Share on other sites
nea clementine Posted December 27, 2010 Share Posted December 27, 2010 Day 79 today, so I guess I qualify Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted December 27, 2010 Share Posted December 27, 2010 I'm not sure if I make the list or not. 112 days of NC. Link to post Share on other sites
J Wool Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 I'm on day 45...wow I have 2 use the calender to check the days. Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 68 days, the thoughts of her do still sting sometimes. I also miss her very much, but without so much as a peep from her I imagine that she has long since moved on. I too am moving on, but I would guess that she is lightyears ahead of me. Ohh well, I can at least look back at my relationship and see it for what it really was, and how it would have eventually failed at some point anyways. I also see many red flags that I over looked as well. I.e. She got upset at me for going to bars because I might go after other girls, but she had a guy friend that would sometimes come over and stay (on the couch) when I wasn't there. I am nearly positive that they were only friends, but I wouldn't be the least bit suprised if something else was going on. I have also seen the new opportunities; I also feel somewhat liberated. I do enjoy being able to do whatever the heck I want. She will always be somewhere in my mind, but her significance will fade and it has. I was really in love with her, but it has faded. If she came back to me now I can honestly say that I would not give her another chance. I have accepted that me and her are no longer friends and probably never will be. At this point in my life, I assume I will never hear from her again. Somebody had a quote on here that said NC is not a ticket to heaven, rather it is a ticket out of hell. I am well on my way. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeIsGreat Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 I'm at about 5 months (with her making 2 small/tiny attempts to contact me that I ignored). I was even tempted to respond to her attempts. And yes, with some time you are able to look at things VERY objectively. It's amazing how in the beginning we're all interested in how to win our ex back. Then with some NC time, we lean mostly to the coping/getting over ex part. That's a great sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Breakupguy12 Posted December 28, 2010 Share Posted December 28, 2010 I hope after 60 days you feel better... Cut your losses and go: I think if you have accepted that it is over when you start NC then by day 60 you would feel much better and will be able to go on with your life...maybe still miss the person, but without the intense hurt... That is sooo true. To be fair though, I must say that it's easier said than done, but if you have the balls to just be patient and let time pass, the sting of the breakup will indeed subside. But I always equate it with a healing flesh wound... Each time you break NC is like picking open a scab that was healing... It's just gonna take that much more time to emotionally heal when you do that to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Gdunkman Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I had to wait for a week to qualify to be a poster in this thread, it's more than two months NC today. I still think about her daily and I still hate her, but my feelings are not so intense as they used to be after breakup. Luckily I've received no news about her during this period of time. I met several girls lately, found some of them attractive and I can see no problem to start dating as they seem to like me too, but I'm not close to falling in love, it's a rare feeling for me. I miss companionship, but I don't want to promise anything to anyone or get attached, because I move to the other country in two months. My behaviour really surprises girls, they don't expect to meet a guy who doesn't make an effort to develop relations Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I'm at 9 months now. It gets easier but you still get days, like today, where all you can do is think about that person. You really just need the advice of others and some company to resolve it. Time is a great healer, yes, but time alone won't solve it for you. You need to get perspective on the situation or you end up dwelling and making this person out to be a lot better than they actually were. I don't know my ex any more, I only know this woman in my head, this goddess of virtue and kindness and beauty, but this woman is a figment of my imagination. She's no more real to me than Harry Potter is to JK Rowling, Jack Ryan to Tom Clancy. The dialogue in my head between me and my ex is made up of things I think she said, and things I wish she'd said. And I think that when we inevitably do meet again one day (I say inevitably because our families are close and we draw too close to the same social circles for it to be an impossibility) I will find a very different person standing in front of me than the one I have fantasised about for the last 9 months. What I'm trying to say is that, even if you accept that it's over, it doesn't necessarily mean that after 60 days you're out of the woods. Every person is different and handles it different. If only there were a set amount of days. I'd have had my calendar and a magic marker out within seconds, counting down each day till freedom...sometimes this feels like a prison sentence, and if that sounds a little melodramatic its because my feelings for my ex, like most people on this site I imagine, were very, very intense. Link to post Share on other sites
2themoon&back Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 ...sometimes this feels like a prison sentence, I am right at 6 months, and I agree with the above, I have said it feels like a prison where I am the Prisoner and the Warden. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 65 days of NC for me. It still hurts a lot. It's been long enough now that I know she won't come back to me, she will be/is dating other guys. Lately it seems to hurt more. I think that's the realization that it's finally sinking in that she won't be back. That there WILL BE/IS a replacement. The other thing that hurts is that we were on the verge of getting formally engaged and I know breaking up is something she contemplated for weeks, not months. That up until the final stretch of the relationship she was very happy and content. And I'm in love with a ghost now. The other thing that hurts is that I just don't understand her decision-making process and how/why she would leave. I know it was the best r/l she'd ever been in because of her actions inside it. She sat her parents down and told them I was The One, I was different from all the other guys she'd ever dated, and as a result her parents wanted to meet mine. She introduced me to her biological father after having nothing to do with him for years. Anybody can say I love you, but those are actions, not words. I keep harping on those things as proof that I was different and our r/l was better and different from what she'd had before, but at the end of the day, I was shown the door. Link to post Share on other sites
makelemonade1974 Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I hope after 60 days you feel better... Cut your losses and go: I think if you have accepted that it is over when you start NC then by day 60 you would feel much better and will be able to go on with your life...maybe still miss the person, but without the intense hurt... However creating expectation: If you are hoping that he/she will come back after 60 days of NC, you would only feel disappointed when he/she doesn't make contact with you. Then what is the point of putting your self through NC if you are still hoping? I'm on day 33 no contact and I'm still struggling with this "acceptance" thing. I think everyone is going to reach that point in their own time. It's not so much a conscious decision that you make, but a point you reach eventually. I know he's kind of a jerk, he's betrayed me beyond belief, his priorities are screwed up, etc. but I can't stop loving him. And at this point it feels like I will never stop. I don't think we can be together - but maybe down the line? Grief is a process that takes longer for some people. It depends a lot on age, the length and intensity of the relationship, etc. I don't think you can put a number on it. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 60 days today!!!! Guess who emailed me this morning about something randomly stupid with a question she could find out on her own?? Guess who isn't going to respond??? Link to post Share on other sites
shocked_confused Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 68 days NC, and I feel tons better than I did a couple months ago. I even went on a couple dates these past few weeks. I've been going out a lot with friends and keeping busy at my job and doing things I love. I have a several fun trips in the works this year and i'm super excited! Do I miss him? Yea sometimes, but it's best that we aren't talking. My date the other night was a horrible kisser and it made me think of how good my ex was at kissing, but life goes on lol. Anyway, good luck to my fellow LS'ers, I hope you're doing well too! Link to post Share on other sites
cboy90 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Day 85 - Feelin' great! Link to post Share on other sites
i made a mess Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Well it's been 71 days since he went NC...and it's been the longest, most agonizing 71 days of my life. It doesn't seem to be getting any better. If anything, it's been worse with each passing day. Here's to hoping it gets easier. Link to post Share on other sites
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