Radio Silence over X-mas...

[Alita]

I've been seeing a guy from my course at college for a little over a month now. He sleeps over and calls me his girlfriend but we're taking things slowly (I think). He's back in London for two weeks visiting family for X-mas at the moment.

 

He saw me the morning he left and said he was going to miss me, etc., and texted a couple of times over the first two days. On day three he called while out drinking with friends and made the comment "So I decided to call... just trying to keep this thing going you know? Would you like me to text more often? I could up the texts".

 

I didn't think there was an issue 'keeping <our relationship> going', so was a little thrown. Then he pretty much stopped texting altogether, so I called and he didn't pick up. He had promised to call on x-mas day and then texted at 11:30pm to say he couldn't call as his parents were about. He said he would call yesterday instead. He didn't, I called him and he didn't pick up. Then today he texts me, again at 11:30pm, to say he's at a party in some house he got so drunk in he threw up last year. He said he misses me, but didn't explain the not calling/answering the phone.

 

It's not that I expect him to call/text/email when he's busy with family and friends - I'm busy with family and friends too! I just can't understand why he says he's going to call and then doesn't. And, when he finally did text it was so overdue and impersonal aside from the customary "I miss you" that it seems like communicating with me is a chore for him rather than a pleasure.

 

Am I just being paranoid/needy/nit-picky? I'm worried a) he's hooked up with someone, b) he's just not that into me, c) for some unknown reason his parents don't approve. I know we haven't been going out that long but I really like him and don't want to make a big deal about it, but I'm a little annoyed... annoyed enough to join this forum and rant about it in fact!

[Goldenspoon]

 

Am I just being paranoid/needy/nit-picky? I'm worried a) he's hooked up with someone, b) he's just not that into me, c) for some unknown reason his parents don't approve. I know we haven't been going out that long but I really like him and don't want to make a big deal about it, but I'm a little annoyed... annoyed enough to join this forum and rant about it in fact!

 

I think it is a combination of a and b, and especially b. It should be clear to you, but since you "really like him," you decided to block that out of your mind.

[Alita]

Ungh...

[Alita]

I think it is a combination of a and b, and especially b. It should be clear to you, but since you "really like him," you decided to block that out of your mind.

 

I know you're right... I just don't know what to do about it!

[january2010]

Sometimes, when people are away, they get caught up in other activities, especially if they're visiting family over the holiday season.

 

But must agree that it's likely that if he didn't prioritise checking in with you, then he's probably not that into you. I don't think it's conclusive that he has hooked up with someone though or that his parents don't approve.

 

I suggest waiting to see how he behaves when he returns from London before making any decisions.

[sweetpea73]

IMO, I dont think theres anything here to suggest he has hooked up with someone else at all.

 

The holiday season is really busy for everyone, but granted he could make a bit more of an effort, but just wait and see how it all goes once the holiday time is over.

 

He was suggesting upping the texts, and maybe if you came across as being caught off guard by the comment and not responding in the way he wanted, he may have took that as a no and now he's playing it cool and keeping you guessing....?

 

Its hard to second guess someone, but I really hope it all works out ok in the end.