How would you feel?

[ImNot]

Hi I'm new to this site, and I'm not really sure if this is the right board for me to be posting on. Let me introduce myself a bit. A couple of years ago, my husband of 26 years decided he no longer wanted to be married, walked out on Me and the kids. Filed for a divorce and we had the divorce from hell. It not only left me penniless, but also left me with anxieties, lack of trust, depression, panic attacks, and many more things that I never experienced before.

 

During the divorce I began going to supportgroups online and have become somewhat close to some of the people on the site. I've come here because I can't share this with anyone on the site, because they do not know about a friendship/relationship I have with another member on the site and don't want the gossiping to start or him to see that I am upset.

 

About nine month ago a man and I on the site started chatting with each other online and then we began talking on the phone often. We have gotten to know each other very well and have helped each other out with problems ranging from kids to pets, how to cook and how to do household repairs. We talk and text each other a few times a day, but we have never met. I'm on the east coast and he's in the southwest.

 

Occasionally we discuss visiting each other or taking a short vacation together, but none of it has ever materialized. I do hope to meet him someday, but I'm not holding my breath that it will happen. We both have many issues to deal with since our divorces.

 

Here's my little issue that I was hoping you would have some input on. I sent him a small Christmas gift because I appreciate his friendship and am thankful that he is there for me though the good times and bad times I have had the past months.

 

He didn't send me anything. Not that I was really expecting anything, though it would have been nice, but when he called to thank me, he said he was going to make me something but he didn't have time. That comment bothered me a little bit, because he always tells me what he's doing during the day. And it seemed to me he had plenty of time. He could have sent me a card. That would have be thoughtful also.

 

As the days go on, I feel sadder and sadder about this. I know I am probably allowing myself to feel upset about this. What do you think? Would it bother you?

[folieadeux]

I think it's normal to feel a bit disappointed about not getting a gift in return, even though you didn't expect anything. You did a really nice thing and it's always good to feel that that special person in your life is thinking of you the same way you are, especially during this time of year. It's a tough thing to gauge too because if you didn't exclusively discuss holiday gifts or the nature of what exactly your relationship is, then it's hard to place appropriate expectations on the situation either. I do have an issue with how he handled the situation though. He didn't have to add on to the conversation saying the reason he didn't send you your gift yet is because he "didn't have time". Whether or not that's the truth...we'll never know, but he didn't have to phrase it like that. It's human nature to make time for things you really want to do and that just seems like a really poor excuse in my opinion. That little bit bothers me more than not getting a gift.