Why is it so hard

[JaneBlaze]

Why is it so much more hard (in most instances) for men to resist temptation even when they are in love, than for women??

[the infamous Emps]

Because women are so soft and curvy and pretty smelling. Men on the other hand are hairy and musky and squareish.

 

 

PEACE

 

EMPS!

[Tony T]

Your question is extremely ambiguous and vague so before answering it, I will write the question as I believe you meant it.

 

Why is it so hard for men to be unfaithful to their significant other than it is for women?

 

It's not, really. There are a lot of women in relationships who are displeased and who search for grudge sex, or for a more fulfilling sex life than the one they get from their boyfriend or husband. Happens all the time. Every city has a bar or two where women crawl to seek clandestine meetings with other men who will not communicate with their husbands or boyfriends.

 

In the evolutionary process, before the insitution of marriage was created and before our populations were so saturated, the male species instinctively spread its seed over vast numbers of females without regard for their attachments to other males. It is basically an instinctive male thing to ensure the continuation of the species by impregnating as many females as possible. Laws and social dictates have quashed a lot of the instinctive actions of the male in our more civilized surroundings but the primitive drives are still there. It could take thousands of years of continued evolution for this drive to diminish somewhat. Frankly, I don't see that happening because nature, as a whole, is not specific about one mate over another. This is something man introduced...not mother nature.

 

Men are usually more associated with infidelity because women are extremely intuitive and pick up on it lots faster. Men, on the other hand, are sort of dumb that way and the ones that get cheated on are usually too stupid to know what's going on. So the men get caught more often but the ladies are just as prone.

 

If your theory is true, that men are more prone to infidelity, I would venture to guess the reason is because men are more able to have sex without emotional ties than women are. Men can meet an attractive woman and have sex almost immediately. Women, as a rule, need to take time to make an emotional connection before taking things further. Now if this is true, then there are a lot of women with multiple cheating partners, uh?

 

Also, men don't take the time to resist temptation because they think they can pull off cheating without being caught and without any emotional consequences. But more often than not, their ladies pick up on it pretty quickly, even without the lipstick on the collar thing.

 

I hope I understood your question right and I hope I was able to give you some insight. If that was not your question, I have just made a fool of myself and hope you will ask your question more completely and specifically.

[daisy97]

Ok Tony, so you're saying that men are biologically engineered to cheat because way back when, men would "spread their seed" to further ensure the continuation of the species. Hmmmmm, sounds like just another excuse for men who cheat. I don't buy it.

 

Your question is extremely ambiguous and vague so before answering it, I will write the question as I believe you meant it. Why is it so hard for men to be unfaithful to their significant other than it is for women?

 

It's not, really. There are a lot of women in relationships who are displeased and who search for grudge sex, or for a more fulfilling sex life than the one they get from their boyfriend or husband. Happens all the time. Every city has a bar or two where women crawl to seek clandestine meetings with other men who will not communicate with their husbands or boyfriends. In the evolutionary process, before the insitution of marriage was created and before our populations were so saturated, the male species instinctively spread its seed over vast numbers of females without regard for their attachments to other males. It is basically an instinctive male thing to ensure the continuation of the species by impregnating as many females as possible. Laws and social dictates have quashed a lot of the instinctive actions of the male in our more civilized surroundings but the primitive drives are still there. It could take thousands of years of continued evolution for this drive to diminish somewhat. Frankly, I don't see that happening because nature, as a whole, is not specific about one mate over another. This is something man introduced...not mother nature. Men are usually more associated with infidelity because women are extremely intuitive and pick up on it lots faster. Men, on the other hand, are sort of dumb that way and the ones that get cheated on are usually too stupid to know what's going on. So the men get caught more often but the ladies are just as prone. If your theory is true, that men are more prone to infidelity, I would venture to guess the reason is because men are more able to have sex without emotional ties than women are. Men can meet an attractive woman and have sex almost immediately. Women, as a rule, need to take time to make an emotional connection before taking things further. Now if this is true, then there are a lot of women with multiple cheating partners, uh? Also, men don't take the time to resist temptation because they think they can pull off cheating without being caught and without any emotional consequences. But more often than not, their ladies pick up on it pretty quickly, even without the lipstick on the collar thing. I hope I understood your question right and I hope I was able to give you some insight. If that was not your question, I have just made a fool of myself and hope you will ask your question more completely and specifically.

[Tony T]

I didn't give excuses for anything. I was just trying to advance ideas that may be helpful in explaining why men may be more prone to cheating than women. Some other reasons could be that: their wives have bad breath and won't do anything about it; their wives have gained 150 pounds and won't lose it; their wives nag; all their wives care about is how much cash they bring home for them to spend, etc. Men could turn off their wives for many reasons...perhaps women in general have better morals and appear not to cheat despite having reasons to.

 

I was trying to keep the explanation a bit more academic and insightful. I apologize for this and will try to do better in keeping my posts more superficial.

[Nina]

I think that must mean that they aren't truely in love.

 

The evolutionary standpont is that women are physically incapable of bearing more than a certain number of children. Men, on the other hand, don't have to carry or care for infants, so they could theoretically fertilize aninfinite number of women. It's a matter of the urge to pass on your genes, and it's coded into our behavior, even if we live differently today.

 

If a man is really in love, he resists the urge to have sex with multiple women, because what he gets from the relationship is more than what he could get from any other relationship. That's why there's that saying, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

 

That means that the female provides certain comforts in the relationship that the male finds attractive enough to commit to caring for her and her offspring, even though he never really knows if the offspring are his.

 

That's also why men are jealous. They're trying to disuade other men from coming in on his territory.

 

It sounds barbaric, but it's our evolutionary history.

Why is it so much more hard (in most instances) for men to resist temptation even when they are in love, than for women??

[Nina]

Actually, he's right. A lot of research in primate sexual behavior proves this point, as well as evolutionary psychology.

Ok Tony, so you're saying that men are biologically engineered to cheat because way back when, men would "spread their seed" to further ensure the continuation of the species. Hmmmmm, sounds like just another excuse for men who cheat. I don't buy it.

[Tony T]

Great explanation. I couldn't have said it better. But it may be too academic for some people. Many people resist the thought that we evolved from pretty primitive creatures, even though there is compelling evidence from numerous authorities that there was a lot more to our getting here than Adam and Eve.

[Taressa]

I read a pre-marriage counseling book once that included a section on the basic needs of men and women.

 

One of men's greatest needs was sex

 

One of women's greatest needs was intimacy.

 

Intimacy takes time to build; most married/attached men will not take the time to build intimacy with anyone other than his partner. Without that intimacy, most women just aren't tempted to have outright casual sex with the man.

 

On the other hand, there are some women who measure love in terms of physical attention... we want to feel loved so we quickly develop sexual behavior in relationships- - sometimes even our friendships with married men.

 

I've read that most affairs occur because a need is not met inside the marriage. If a man is unsatisfied or nagged to death at home and another woman draws him in with her tempting, appreciate, seductive ways, it's likely the man is going to oblige her to fulfill that need.

 

Fortunately, we're created not evolved, so we have a conscience, will, and mind enabling us to choose right and to say yes and no.

[Deejette]

It wasn't that long ago that we were huddled in caves. Then civilization evolved and imposed rules to govern acceptable behavior, including wearing clothes. But we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that we were primitive beasts and expect idealized behavior from our fellow human beings. I have been deeply in love and yet will flirt with and fantacize about others anyway. I think this is my primitive urge to perpetuate the species with as many diverse mates as I can. Yet, my romantic, civilized nature wants total devotion from my man and is outraged if he strays. It doesn't make sense.

Great explanation. I couldn't have said it better. But it may be too academic for some people. Many people resist the thought that we evolved from pretty primitive creatures, even though there is compelling evidence from numerous authorities that there was a lot more to our getting here than Adam and Eve.