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So your ex is feeding you crumbs......

LifeIsGreat

By LifeIsGreat,
in Second Chances

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Mrlonelyone

Mrlonelyone

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As a matter of fact I just asked out another woman. A young beautiful blonde opera singer, who has no children, no baggage, and a better education. :-)

 

Just to hang out on NYE but we'll see what happens. :-)

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homebrew

homebrew

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That is GREAT news!!!!!

 

After you get serious with someone... You have to change your name. I can't wait to see what it is!

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LifeIsGreat

LifeIsGreat

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Homebrew once again I am a person of African american, American Indian (feather not dot), and Eropean descent. I have ancestors who fought in the continental army and served in the house of burgeses of Virginia.

 

I'm a bit of a history buff. I don't believe there were any africans or idians who served in the house of burgeses. And there is nothing wrong with a 'dot'.

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Mrlonelyone

Mrlonelyone

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Homebrew once again I am a person of African american, American Indian (feather not dot), and Eropean descent. I have ancestors who fought in the continental army and served in the house of burgeses of Virginia.

 

I'm a bit of a history buff. I don't believe there were any africans or idians who served in the house of burgeses. And there is nothing wrong with a 'dot'.

 

I am triracial. Black, white, and American Indian (Native American... but we don't like that one anymore.)

 

 

 

You know guys... If in all of this you never caught my mentioning my racial background I really question how much of my situation you really understood. No matter it is for the time being resolved.

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LifeIsGreat

LifeIsGreat

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Second.... I don't think a BF can file a restraining order to keep guys from hitting on his GF. Not in this state... not in this country. You have to at least be a husband and even then I don't think that would fly.

 

Dude, for real? Did you really just say this? "Out here in the perimeter, we emaculately stoned"--- The Doors

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homebrew

homebrew

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Hahahahahahaha!

 

Yes... He did just say that!

 

I fell out of my chair when I read it!

 

Like my PawPaw always told me...

 

It's not REAL LOVE unless there is a RESTRAINING ORDER!

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homebrew

homebrew

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I was all alone... NOBODY was helping me with giving that guy advice!

 

Geesh!

 

After all the help I give others... You think I would have had one person try and help me in my time of need.

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PowerOfOne

PowerOfOne

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You were doing a stirling stirling job HB. If he wasn't going to listen to you, what chance do us mere mortals have!

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Mrlonelyone

Mrlonelyone

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I have just never heard of a boyfriend being able to file a restraining order on behalf of his girlfriend. Unless he's a attorney and he's acting as council.

 

SHE could file against me

 

HE could not file against me to keep me away from her.

 

That's all I'm saying.

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Mrlonelyone

Mrlonelyone

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Dude read the statute

 

(750 ILCS 60/201) Sec. 201. Persons protected by this Act

 

A petition for an order of protection may be filed only: (i) by a person who has been abused by a family or household member or by any person on behalf of a minor child or an adult who has been abused by a family or household member and who, because of age, health, disability, or inaccessibility, cannot file the petition, or (ii) by any person on behalf of a high-risk adult with disabilities who has been abused, neglected, or exploited by a family or household member. However, any petition properly filed under this Act may seek protection for any additional persons protected by this Act.

 

Where does it mention a BF being able to file for a protective order for his GF? I don't see it. She would have to be high risk and disabled. Which she is neither.

 

Second on a emotional level I don't see someone who can't even personally tell me to get lost filing such an order. Could she? Sure. Will she, nahh. Like I said bringing this matter to court would open a can of worms she does not want to open re: the child.

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homebrew

homebrew

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You were doing a stirling stirling job HB. If he wasn't going to listen to you, what chance do us mere mortals have!

 

Whatever... You know just as much as I do... If not more!

 

I am not buying it... You just didn't want to get subpoenaed!

 

Don't think you are pulling a fast one over on me... PowerOfOne!

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soleharmony1123

soleharmony1123

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Can't get it right, Homebrew; it's like a tongue twister for me.:confused: lol!

 

 

Mother F)cker!

 

I feel better!

 

Sole, Do you?!?!?!

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PowerOfOne

PowerOfOne

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You got me... :p

 

I've gotta say though, the idea of being subpoenaed for this would be a story to tell. Just imagine how that would pan out!

 

MrLonelyone - No snappy comebacks required, you've been given enough rope. I'll admit that nobody will know your situation like you do, but from what you've been posting it does not look good. You're at the point of looking up the law on if a restraining order can be put against you. Take a step back and look at what you're saying!!! If someone had told you this story would you have been supportive? Would you have said 'you've almost got her mate! keep going!'. No, you'd say let it go, and notch it up for one of those hard-knocks life throws your way.

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Mrlonelyone

Mrlonelyone

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I'm only looking up restraining order law to refute the absurd notion that a boyfriend can file one on behalf of a girlfriend.

 

I have filed restraining orders in this state before. The truth of the matter is they are not easy to get and are really easy to beat in court. I had to get one against a psycho ex roomate.

 

Second to get one you need to have a domestic situation. She could get one IF she admitted under oath I was the father of her child.... Which could mean she gets privacy to be with her new BF.... but then I get parental rights and visitation. So from a certain legal perspective I could sacrifice my queen to capture a knight!

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cesere

cesere

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I think that you are too pessimistic. For some of us, crumbs are we have and we need to hold on to what little hope, what little positive signals we get. Due to depression over my career and a death in the family I asked my wife for divorce late last year and got it. I started dating briefly, but ended up dating with my ex-wife in February. Then she got revenge for the divorce by dumping me in April for a bald, fat, unattractive unemployed loser she met online (I'm thin, muscular, good-looking and have a job) and.....put boundaries on me: refusing to enter my home, not letting me in hers, or even share a meal with our kid in public. She was VERY rude, hateful, and mean to me. I made it clear to her over and over again that I was sorry about the divorce and wanted a second chance. But all she did was insult me and show me hate. A month ago she began entering my home again after momths of refusing and had a family meal with me and our kid a couple of weeks ago after months of refusing. She still doesn't have many kind words for me. Not much. Crumbs. But I am in love with her and only her. Dating other women has only made me realize how much I need her and want to be with her and only her for the rest of my life. And my kid keeps telling me, "Daddy don't give up. Keep trying." These measly crumbs she's given me recently are the only reason I can realistically hope and pray in Church every Sunday that she comes back to me. I don't want to be a pessimist. I have to hope for the benefit of me and my kid. I hope that the crumbs will lead to a trail of reconciliation. After 12 years together and a child between us, I have to hope the crumbs will accumulate and develop into remarriage. I can't move on.

 

 

...... and you're trying to make sense of it?

 

If you have been dumped and wondering if you are getting signals from your ex that they want back, keep this in mind....

 

It's been said here that an ex should be knocking down your door asking for another shot at the relationship. I truly believe that. Whether I have been the dumper or dumpee I have always made my intentions very clear.

 

If you are getting mixed signals, or 'crumbs', let it go. If your ex doesn't have the fortitude to be straight up with you, that's not someone you want in your life anyway.

 

Relationships take work and communcation (not games and hints). These crumbs you are licking off the floor mean several things:

 

1) your ex isn't really sure they want you anyway

2) your ex is trying to make themselves feel better/get closure at your expense

3) your ex wants you back but doesn't have the emotional health, communication skills, balls, taking of responsibility, likes to play games, has unhealthy pride.

 

You see, either way it's a loose/loose situation if you keep working with these crumbs, and keep hoping they are a sign from God. Until your ex is clear about intentions, LEAVE THEM ALONE and stop wondering what they are trying to do. None of the answers is a healthy way to get back together anyway.

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Mrlonelyone

Mrlonelyone

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cesere

 

I can feel where you are coming from. Until a man can measure his association with a particular woman in decades or a sizeable fraction of a decade he cannot fully understand the complex bonds that can form.

 

It's not like having a GF for a few months or even a year.

 

Even if both of you move on and date others... they may never fully break.

 

i.e. My mother and her Ex husband. They may never ever get back together... but they are still somewhat bonded.

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homebrew

homebrew

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And when is the last time you had contact with her?

 

3 years!

 

And when is the last time you had contact with her boyfriend (when you tried emailing her)?

 

The other day!

 

Now who do you have more of a relationship with... Her or her Boyfriend?

 

At this point, I would say her boyfriend!

 

Is that who you are after? Because that is the only person you are actually speaking with.

 

Call me crazy... But unless her Boyfriend is who you are after... You are not having any sort of success to speak of in getting her back!

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andrew-bkk

andrew-bkk

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but then I get parental rights and visitation. So from a certain legal perspective I could sacrifice my queen to capture a knight!

 

That's a very sad comment.

 

The truth is that you would sacrifice some dirty little bitch and get back your son. And if you can't see that your son is the most important issue here then you've got things profoundly wrong.

 

Can you not insist on a paternity suit? If you can -- and if the boy is proven to be yours -- you'll learn instantly what it feels like to be a man instead of wuss.

 

Believe me, half-hearted attempts at reconciliation via email and FB will become distant memories once you start taking your son out for a walk in the park.

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