Should I leave?

[peachy]

I have been with my husband for six years, although we've only been married for eight months. We also have a one year old. My problem is I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. He's a computer tech he works seven days a week to provide for me and our son. When we were first together I didn't care about our differences but now it seems that they have broken through. I want to got to school make something of myself. He's under the impression that I'm just going to be a housewife, eventhough I have expressed that I want to do more he doesn't listen. Now I feel stuck since I wanted to be married in the first place. I know I love him , he is a great father and wonderful person but I don't think he is what I want anymore. I don't want to hurt him I owe him too much to break his heart. What to do?

[the infamous Emps]

wow dude, thats real deep...I'm no Tony, and I have a truckload of problems myself (see "this girl has me real stressed") but what I think you should do is sit down and talk to your husband...I mean, I've never been married but in all relationships, one of the best ways to solve problems is to sit down and talk about it. Don't just come out like "Yo, I don't think I love you anymore" get into it lightly. Maybe if you sit down and talk to your hubby, you guys will break some new ground and maybe rekindle a little something. Tell him to take a week off work or something and just relax together, Leave the kid at a babysitter for a week. You might find that you really do love him and the fact that he's constantly at work has made you forget this. That's what I gotta say...Tone?

 

PEACE

 

THE EMPEROR

[Tony T]

Go to school and do whatever you want to do. But you made a committment to your marriage and you need to give it a better shot at success before you end it.

 

It sounds like you have a pretty good guy, he's a good provider and not abusive. Let me be the first to tell you that no matter who you marry, after a period of time the fireworks fizzle out and you are with a plain old vanilla human being. If you expected to be out of your mind in love forever when you got married, you were seriously mistaken.

 

You say you don't think you're in love with him anymore. Well, love is a decision that you make. You can fall in love with him again or you can withdraw your love. The giving of love is not just some magical event that is out of our power. You need to find out the underlying reasons why you made the decision not to love him anymore. There is also the possiblity your love for him is dormant. Maybe both of you need to do some romantic things or set aside special times of the week to strengthen your marriage and bring that love back again. It can be done. If you don't do this with him, you'll have to do it with someone else when you remarry. Why not work with what you have right there now???

 

Just because you are bored or not excited about your marriage is no ground to leave. Both of you should work together to put back some sparks...and you need to be very firm and assertive that you are not going to stay home all the time. This is something you should have discussed well in advance.

 

At any rate. get some counselling and read this post over again. Again, I want to make it very clear that you have to create your own happiness and your own excitement. That's not your husband's responsiblity or your relationship's. And no matter who you're with, it will never be as bombs away exciting six years later as it was when you first met.

 

Welcome to the real world!!!

[tina]

hi i would like to give you some advice. my bf is the same like your husband, he is computer tech and self alliancce.

 

he works 7 days a week and use to come home 24:00 Pm. i was so unhappy and start screwing my brain by saying i love him but this was not the life i want to have. so we create distance without knowing that. he was thinking i don't love him anymore and i was thinking the same. happening is a learning process. after bad happening between us we just came very closure and talk about it. and now he starts taking time for our relationship. coming home soon and haveing dinner together. and weekened time he just works 3 or 4 hours and the rest we spend together. now i know why i was confused as the time he was working all the time. wenn the guy is always working, then you feel like you sit near the camin but you feel the room is very cold and you need more fire. try to take more time with him and work out your relationship, you will see everything will change..

 

you know if he is always working and coming just to sleep, so it means it is the same like a kid whose father was never at home, he always works and come wenn the kid is on bed so the kid sticks to his mother because he don't know his father.

 

so it is the same with you, you are with sombody but you don't have meal time with him you don't talk, and you can't have love because wenn he comes home he sleeps on the couch. so how do came to say "he is not the man whom i want to be or not" ??????

 

maybe you can afford anything you want. but you are sharing it with nobody. so the room is cold honey try to make it warrm. he is not caring to have time with you because he feels uncomfortable wenn he see you, siting in the cold room alom´ne.

 

make up your mind, take action very soon, otherwise you will be surprised with someone and her name is "Miss hoty".