9Lives Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Are you ready to talk or see your ex since the breakup? This is the big question I want you to ask yourself. the answer for me is NO. Broke up for good since late Aug 2010. He text me afterwards until Oct when I shut it down. Ended with a text argument and telling each other we would never speak to each other again. (sigh) I can tell that I have not healed. I know that a big part of NC is to get over the relationship and get yourself back. Im still too dependent on LS to make it thru the day....not all days but some. Im still hurt cause he has a gf. Im still missing him alot. Im still having a hard time trusting and opening up to another man. I still have feelings inside for him. On the flip side, I am stronger and wiser and better than before for sure. I am coping with it much much better than I would have if I wasnt PRIVILEGED to meet Loveshack. LS has played a HUGE part in my healing and learning how to handle things. LS has allowed me to express my inner most thoughts instead of having to take it to my friends which I hate doing. I dont like to tell them too much when it comes to this. I dont like people to feel sorry for me or ask me about him. So Im matured enough to know that tho I miss him so much and all, Am I ready to see/talk to my ex? No. Still have issues within to work out ....NC is still where I belong. I will be glad when I am free. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 It's been about a year and a half, and I recently ran into her a few times at the bar and gym. After all this time, I can say that I'm ok talking to/seeing her. Link to post Share on other sites
shocked_confused Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Hey! We broke up about 2 months ago, and over 6 weeks NC... I feel a lot better and don't think about him every waking minute like I used to. I've probably cut the amount of time I think about him in half. This could be because I've been busy and I have a new crush In fact, on Christmas day whenever I received a text, I hoped in my gut that it wasn't my ex. So to answer your question, no i don't wish to see him anytime soon. I think it would ruin my healing process. I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over him, but I'm definitely at this stage where I don't care to hear from him. Side note: I'm starting to imagine myself with other people...is that a sign of moving on/healing? I hope so! Link to post Share on other sites
january2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 If it were practical and I had a choice, I'd NC them all 'foreva'. As it is, I grin and bear it. Seems to be working so far. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted December 30, 2010 Author Share Posted December 30, 2010 Hey! We broke up about 2 months ago, and over 6 weeks NC... I feel a lot better and don't think about him every waking minute like I used to. I've probably cut the amount of time I think about him in half. This could be because I've been busy and I have a new crush In fact, on Christmas day whenever I received a text, I hoped in my gut that it wasn't my ex. So to answer your question, no i don't wish to see him anytime soon. I think it would ruin my healing process. I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over him, but I'm definitely at this stage where I don't care to hear from him. Side note: I'm starting to imagine myself with other people...is that a sign of moving on/healing? I hope so! Yes. u are doing real good!!! Link to post Share on other sites
make me feel better Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 my relationship ended in september. its been four months now. i don't know what i'm feeling. i felt really hurt. i felt betrayed. now i'm feeling a lot of anguish toward her. i feel i didn't do anything wrong or anything worthy of her leaving me forever. as more time passes by, i feel like i can't forgive her for what she has put me throught these four months... this is the most heartless,cruel thing shes ever done to me...i promise myself i wont be hurt next year and that i wont ever forgive her for this. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 goodness no! but it's only been 41 days of NC. i'm still on that roller coaster where one day i feel like i'm snapping out of it and the next day i feel as though i have to sit on my hands in order to keep myself from picking up the phone to send him a text. the mere thought of seeing him is enough to make me want to hyperventilate. but like you, i've been relying on LS to get me through. I've pretty much used up my bff's goodwill talking about this. LS is the only other place i can vent and people are willing to hear, understand and hopefully get as much out of the venting as i do Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 NO! Four months broken up, and two months NC. It's not like I hate him, and it's not like I don't love him still. haha. I'm just getting over that huge "sad hump" and I don't want any setbacks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted December 30, 2010 Author Share Posted December 30, 2010 NO! Four months broken up, and two months NC. It's not like I hate him, and it's not like I don't love him still. haha. I'm just getting over that huge "sad hump" and I don't want any setbacks. I like your respond. Makes a lot of sense. Keep up the good work Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 I'm jealous of all you people who are able to have clean breaks. Unfortunately I have to see my stbx twice a week to pickup and dropoff my child. She goes out of her way to act like she couldn't be happier without me in her life. I'm really starting to hate her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted December 30, 2010 Author Share Posted December 30, 2010 I'm jealous of all you people who are able to have clean breaks. Unfortunately I have to see my stbx twice a week to pickup and dropoff my child. She goes out of her way to act like she couldn't be happier without me in her life. I'm really starting to hate her. I would try to make other arrangements if possible so you don't have to deal with her ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Karma20 Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 NO! I'm afraid I'll end up in jail if I do . It's been a month and a half and to be honest I don't think I'll ever be able to see him without getting angry that he got a new gf 2 weeks after we broke up and made it a point to rub it in my face. Started NC the day he dumped he broke it twice so been NC since Dec. 3 and counting. Link to post Share on other sites
Breakupguy12 Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Since only 4 months have passed, you may have a ways to go to heal completely. I understand you being pissed that he's seeing someone else, but it's possible that whomever he's dating is just a rebound chick. I was a woman's rebound guy, she chewed me up and spit me out after she healed from her divorce. That could be what he's doing. You're healing your own way, maybe having a new fling/girlfriend is helping him heal in his own way. Link to post Share on other sites
edinesto Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 NO! Four months broken up, and two months NC. It's not like I hate him, and it's not like I don't love him still. haha. I'm just getting over that huge "sad hump" and I don't want any setbacks. You are doing great!! Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I like your respond. Makes a lot of sense. Keep up the good work Thanks. I still get a little teary sometimes, but I let myself be sad when I need to be, because deep down, I know that I will be just fine. More so than being broken up, I'm just sad that I don't know him anymore. I wish he could be in my life and not have it hurt, but maybe someday that will happen. Just gotta live in the now. Can't worry about the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 Thanks. I still get a little teary sometimes, but I let myself be sad when I need to be, because deep down, I know that I will be just fine. More so than being broken up, I'm just sad that I don't know him anymore. I wish he could be in my life and not have it hurt, but maybe someday that will happen. Just gotta live in the now. Can't worry about the future. I like what you said...AGAIN! I couldnt have said it better for real. Link to post Share on other sites
D78 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I'm not ready to see him. That's bad, because I'm going to see some bands play for my New Year's celebration, and there's a tiny chance he will be there (3 bands playing, I like 2, he likes 1 but it is in a really bad neighborhood and he didn't like going out on New Year's...). I really hope he's not there. If he is there, I'm fully prepared for him to be with another girl, or to continue his suddenly distant "I can't look you in the eye" behavior. Following what I have learned on LS in the past week, I have formulated my response to all possible situations. I actually practiced saying them to make sure I could do so without getting all emotional. When I realized I could succeed with that small task, I decided to go to the show. But, thinking of seeing him went from my most desperate dream to a constant nightmare. (Disclaimer - I don't want to reconcile with my ex, so take this all in light of that fact.) Link to post Share on other sites
Fern Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I'm not ready to be around him yet. Because it makes ME feel bad and starts me feeling like I miss him again. Other than knowing I need at least another month before I'm ready to deal with him (at LEAST) - I'm feeling pretty good. He's not the first thing and last thing I think of everyday anymore. I can think about him and his new girl without feeling pain anymore. I'm well on the way to getting over him. I'm proud of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Banega100 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I'm 100% unwilling to cross paths with my ex at any time because it puts me in crazy analysing mode and makes me self conscious as hell. I was actually thrust into situations where i had to be around her and you can feel the tension in the air. Since then ive come a million miles, but still the other day i had to sit by her to use a computer, had no idea this was gonna happen, but thought 'nah she's not stopping me from doing my work'. Those were painful minutes of silence before i bashed the printer and got it to work. Point is, i'm over it but i still can't talk to her i get nervous and feel weird. And any one that thinks they can is often fooling themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
durkadurka Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Well the real question is, do I want to talk to her? With the current state of affairs, I'm can happily say there is no point. She's been trying to get a hold of me for a few days, I sent down a token Christmas gift for her. She's given me every reason in the book to say she's going to call but for whatever reason, she's not able to call now. I kind of laughed and said whatever, I'm over it, don't bother calling at all. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 It funny, my ex just texted me today. In a way, I wish this would have happened in a couple of months. Link to post Share on other sites
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