In Love With Mothers Husband

[MsBabyCakes2U]

Hi , I am a 36 year old woman that is in love with a 50 year old man, the only problem is that the man is also my mothers husband.

 

Let me start at the beginning, When I was 17, we had an affair and I promised that I would always belong to him. Well to make a long story short, I have never been able to commit myself to anyone since then.

 

In November of 2003, I moved in with my mother and her husband and the affair started again on Christmas. When I moved in, my intentions were to take care of my mother since she is full blown alcoholic, but things changed and I ended up falling in love with her husband.

 

It drove me nuts watching the way my mother treated him, she didn't cook, didn't clean and didn't even sleep with him at night cause she was too busy drinking all night. This behavior of my mothers isn't any different than it has been my whole life.

 

Well in January, she moved to another state and her husband and I have been in a relationship since. My son and my brother (his son-he is not my dad) live with us and its really hard on everyone.

 

I guess I just want to know if anyone else out there has gone through something similar, cause I dont know if my mother or sister(his daughter) will ever speak to me again. I am not going to leave his side, so I guess what I'm looking for is some hope that others in the family will someday accept the idea that we are together and it has nothing to do with them.

[fredrolin]

It's a strange situation and as long as there is no incest it's legal and I wish you the best.

 

If you truly love each other then you should be together. Do what makes you happy. Everyone will adjust to the situation sooner or later, except your mother. But it sounds like she drove him away.

 

good luck.

[morrigan]

What an absolute mess. but what's done has been done. I don't think any man should have had sex with his 17 year old stepdaughter. I think you should have grown up to find someone who wasn't already married to a family member, someone who could and would have wanted to be only with you.

 

Resenting your mother's alchoholism and behavior is one thing, but her actions didn't force either of you two into eachother's arms. Every choice has a consequence. Being with this man was going to cause other people pain, and I believe that you knew that.

 

Your mom has separated from this man, hopefully they each will be seeking a divorce. You are with your stepfather now. Did you honestly think family members could embrace this situation with open arms and get along with you? Get past it, and accept that some of your family doesn't want to have a relationship with you at this time.

 

If your mother and your step (or half) sister don't want to have any contact with you, that's their choice. If you wanted to be with this man, that was your choice as well, but you should be more realistic about people's reactions to it. If you want to stay in this relationship, then work on it, but don't demand that other people accept it.

[jmargel]

You never mentioned your REAL dad in this. My take on this is you have been missing a father figure for your whole life, and this guy came into it. He abused his role by sleeping with you. You mother maybe an alcoholic, but how was she to you? Did she take care of you as a child? Alcoholism is an addiction, its a disease and she needs help. You sleeping with her husband only made things worse.

 

To me both of you were very selfish in alot of ways. If you want my OK that this will work out, well you won't get it. He munipliated you in alot of ways, and you did the same to your mom.

[fredrolin]

Some people have to take what they can get.

 

We are all human and have needs.

 

Everybody doesn't get the same opportunities to have a normal relationship.

 

Besides who made the rules on what is normal anyway?