michmax Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I have a great group of good girlfriends, there are 7 us, and I am the only one not in a relationship. Even my roomate who was my single accomplice now spends every single night with her new boyfriend of only 2 months. She was the one who always claimed to not want a relationship. She still says this, but then does the complete opposite, which makes me get angry with her. But I know really it is just jealousy and missing hanging with her and the others more. I will be moving for grad school in July so not going out of my way to start anything serious before then. And I have been engaged before and broke it off because he wasn't right one, so not looking to settle. It's just hard to not feel lonely in the meantime. We all still go out in a big group, it's not like I have no one to hang out with, its just come the end of the night when we all used to cab it home from the bars and crash together, they all go to their boyfriends places and I'm left to fend for myself. I want to be happy for my friends, just can;'t help feeling sad and alone. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I take it you're female, and I can only answer from the male perspective. Most of my friends are either married or coupled up, so I am often the odd wheel whenever I go out with friends. I try to treat my friends not as other couples but as individual friends who are all there to have a good time with each other. Luckily, my friends are great about it and don't make me feel left out by acting all coupley with each other while I sit there awkwardly. There are certainly times when I'm out and I get upset that everyone has someone except me...or I get stuck going home alone while everyone else is couplin' up...but it just is what it is...I just tell myself I had a great night with my friends...it takes a little practice... Link to post Share on other sites
Author michmax Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 I take it you're female, and I can only answer from the male perspective. Most of my friends are either married or coupled up, so I am often the odd wheel whenever I go out with friends. I try to treat my friends not as other couples but as individual friends who are all there to have a good time with each other. Luckily, my friends are great about it and don't make me feel left out by acting all coupley with each other while I sit there awkwardly. There are certainly times when I'm out and I get upset that everyone has someone except me...or I get stuck going home alone while everyone else is couplin' up...but it just is what it is...I just tell myself I had a great night with my friends...it takes a little practice... Thanks, yeah I think the same where I treat my friends as individual people, but sometimes they make it hard by getting all coupley like you say. I think this probably happens more to girls than guys, but it's pretty much inevitable a girl gets in a relationship and everything changes with them. At least I'm aware of it and try not to let this happen to me when I'm in relationships. Still sucks though. I end up feeling like I need to find a date or take a cab home myself if I want to go out anymore Link to post Share on other sites
blueyedgrl85 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I understand how you feel and so I'm not sure what to say, except to just busy yourself with things and to get out there- take a class, join a gym, volunteer, etc. I will be moving for grad school in July This is a good opportunity to start fresh and meet some more people and make new friends. Therefore you'll be busy and involved with school and there won't be time to worry about anything else because you'll be occupied with schoolwork. Even my roomate who was my single accomplice now spends every single night with her new boyfriend of only 2 months. She was the one who always claimed to not want a relationship. She still says this, but then does the complete opposite, which makes me get angry with her. But I know really it is just jealousy and missing hanging with her and the others more. People may "claim" they don't want a relationship, but usually secretly, deep down they really do. It sounds like she is in the giddy, "honeymoon phase" since it is just the beginning. To play devil's advocate, her relationship, along with your other friends, may not last. And then who knows, they will be the single ones and you will be the one with a boyfriend! I know it's hard right now, but keep your head high and focus on the things you have in life, instead of the things you don't. It sounds cliche, but it really is true. Get busy, get out there and good luck with school! Link to post Share on other sites
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