J0N Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Guys I do not know what it is lately. I can not stop thinking about her. I miss her so much. I have absolutely not been able to get her off my mind. I am so sad Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Coming up on Day 76 since b/u, Day 60 of NC myself. These feelings are normal for an unwilling dumpee. We did not get to emotionally prepare. This is part of our emotional adjustment. Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Everyone goes through stages like that. At the beginning it was all the time. Then after a while every second day. Then for a few hours every few days. Even now i'll have an off day every now and again. I'll focus on what i'm acutally thinking and usually it's missing the dream. A dream of what could have been or what she could have been. It's important to realise that it's your imagination that's killing you. They aren't actually as happy as you imagine. Take them off that pedastal and realise they she's just a girl with the same issues and insecurities as every other girl. She's no where near as great as your head is making her out to be! Link to post Share on other sites
strangeways Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I'm 90+ days NC. been doing great, then Christmas comes along and feel like I've gone backwards. It's natural and as Green says it's part of the emotional adjustment. It gets better but slowly. Power gave some good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
january2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Due to the time of year, endings/beginnings, I also find myself feeling very contemplative and slightly wistful. Upturn is next so can't wallow for two long before taking three steps forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 Yea, I think it has to do with the time of year but i am 70+ of NC and I haven't felt this $h!tty since the first few days. I really want to call her but I know I can't and I won't. I guess I am still coming to grips with the fact that she just said adios one day and never so much as looked back, not even once. I put everything I had into our 2 year relationship (sure it wasn't perfect) only to have her spit in my face at the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 January, what is upturn? Link to post Share on other sites
strangeways Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Yea, I think it has to do with the time of year but i am 70+ of NC and I haven't felt this $h!tty since the first few days. I really want to call her but I know I can't and I won't. I guess I am still coming to grips with the fact that she just said adios one day and never so much as looked back, not even once. I put everything I had into our 2 year relationship (sure it wasn't perfect) only to have her spit in my face at the end. Same boat as you. I know how you feel. left and never looked back. Left one week after we moved in together. She's never tried to contact me. I'd got myself into a routine with work, running, meeting up with friends etc. The holidays have messed that up and I've had a week off work and it just means more time to think, especially about last christmas and new years. I'm hoping that once the holidays are over things will settle down. I've also been feeling the urge to contact her, more so now than ever. I won't though. You're not alone. We just have to stay strong and ride it out. Link to post Share on other sites
january2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 (edited) January, what is upturn? Upward movement. As in, we are in the trough and heading for the peak, like a sound wave. Edited December 31, 2010 by january2010 Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 Feel like that phase started a while ago, but new years or maybe just this time of year has caused me to trip-fall and land on my head. Link to post Share on other sites
davisc123 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Yeah man, I've been having a really tough time over the last few days. What's really sh*tty is that I thought I was over the worst. But like everybody else said, you're not alone feeling like this and the time of year will play a big part. I have been dreading the new year celebrations, the thought of seeing in the bells without her makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. Link to post Share on other sites
january2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 You'll most likely still experience the downturns but they will be less frequent and shorter. The other side of the coin is that the upturns will be more frequent and longer. You will get there. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Sorry to hear your going through this hard time mate, Your not on your own, This time of the years gets us all, Since my ex wished me a merry christmas and got me some presents, that completely messed me up and gave me false hope, Just gotta keep moving on, Thats all you can do unfortunately, Be a lot easier once tonight is out the way with mind you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fermentum Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I think it's the holidays. All the downtime and surrounded by family make you miss the comfort. It's 56 days NC for me, but she's still on my mind all day. And half the time it's not even her, it is an idealized version of us. Just try and get through the downtime, and stop yourself whenever you think about her and move on. Wait for the new year and tackle it with gusto. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 You guys are right, I guess I was expecting a few bad days but these have been much worse than I thought. Worse still, I flew out to a buddies place for NYE and he is sick as a dog, and I can feel myself catching it. So I may spend my NYE watching tv. I know this sounds corny but I am really sad that I won't be able to give her a new years kiss. Also the thought keeps coming up that she's found somebody else and will probably have a great time with him. These thoughts are really destructive Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 1, 2011 Author Share Posted January 1, 2011 Fu(k. Tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 1, 2011 Author Share Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) Nothing, from her. And that's how I feel,like nothing... I miss you <> Edited January 1, 2011 by J0N Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 It's ok to feel like that J0N. I had one of my worst nights since the breakup last night. But I just had to push through it. Confident that it would fade and I'd feel much better after a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 1, 2011 Author Share Posted January 1, 2011 Last night was awful. I guess it was a combination of several things. 1. I have absolutely no idea where she was, or if she was with another guy or not. 2. If she even remembers my existence. I put so much into that relationship, and one day she just walked away and never even so much as looked back. I thought she was the one, but there is no way she was if she could be such a cold hearted b!tch Link to post Share on other sites
PowerOfOne Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I hear you. I've been through and to a certain extent are still going though those emotions. It does get better with time. Try and focus on what this new year is going to bring! Pick 2 or 3 things you want to achieve by the end of the year and know that in 6 months you'll be feeling much better. Let time do its thing and be patient. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Yes, it is not as bad now as it used to be. I guess I haven't been entirely honest. I really felt something with this girl, something is telling me to reach out to her. I sort of feel like she is concerned that she made the wrong choice but is too scared to contact me. Like she wants me to make the move, I feel like everyday that I go NC she is slipping away. I am not myself anymore, I feel like this has been slowly eating away at me. I am not suicidal or depressed, but jokes dont seem as funny, I sort of feel like everyday without her just isn't the same. There is a part of me that is still wishing, praying that she would reach out to me. I am having a difficult time supressing this feeling. I really miss her, how she made me feel, her cute face and laugh, etc. I am completely 100% committed to moving on because the other half of my brain knows that this would probably never work. These past few days have been the worst in a long time. I really really really miss her. Link to post Share on other sites
Hades Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 Yes, it is not as bad now as it used to be. I guess I haven't been entirely honest. I really felt something with this girl, something is telling me to reach out to her. I sort of feel like she is concerned that she made the wrong choice but is too scared to contact me. Like she wants me to make the move, I feel like everyday that I go NC she is slipping away. I am not myself anymore, I feel like this has been slowly eating away at me. I am not suicidal or depressed, but jokes dont seem as funny, I sort of feel like everyday without her just isn't the same. There is a part of me that is still wishing, praying that she would reach out to me. I am having a difficult time supressing this feeling. I really miss her, how she made me feel, her cute face and laugh, etc. I am completely 100% committed to moving on because the other half of my brain knows that this would probably never work. These past few days have been the worst in a long time. I really really really miss her. Jon, I am so sorry you are having a bad day. Yes, bad day. Break ups hurt like hell and I understand what you are feeling. However, if she really wanted to reach out to you, she would find a way. A subtle text. A poke on facebook. Press through and stay focused. "The best way out is always through." You are doing great with not contacting her. Focus on you and your healing process. This time is about you. Not her. Do not consume yourself with what she is doing and what she is thinking. Another person cannot be held responsible for your happiness: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/3_Easy_Steps_to_Recapture_Your_Happiness.html Pray about it! Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 It's probably just the time of the year. We associate the holidays with togetherness. It can be completely maddening, but it passes. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Yes I know that if she wanted to reach out she would have at least tested the fence a little. I guess it just really hurts to think that our relationship meant so little to her. I also think the holidays are playing a significant role in my recent sadness. I have blocked her on FB (she posted pics of her having the time of her life) and the only way she can reach me now is a text or call. I guess I just need to start accepting the fact that the call is never going to come. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Lately since new years eve, I have been pining more than ever. Today is exactly 12 weeks since I last talked to her face to face and about 68 days of NC. Things are becoming foggy for me, I cannot stop thinking about her. Is this me just starting the "Sadness" phase of breaking up? I feel so deflated, tired all the time and sad.*I really thought this girl was the one for me, I feel like I am at a point in my life where I won't meet anyone new for a long time. This makes me so sad. How could one girl come into my life, then we share two amazing years together, then suddenly just vanish? I think my memory of things may*becoming*blurred by putting her on a pedestal, but she was just so cute.I already know that I am the hopeless romantic type, but this is crazy its been so long. What is stranger still is that I thought I was fine until a few days before NYE, now everything sucks*again. I need some help, something motivating to move on. I just don't know what it is. She probably*wouldn't*even recognize my name anymore How could she be so heartless? I have*committed*to NC, and I wont break it. This breakup has been like a*parasite, that has been slowly eating away at me. I hate my*imagination! Link to post Share on other sites
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