marigo Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 You guys heard of the line "You don't know what you have until you've lost it?" I dont exactly want my ex back. Im not gonna lie and say if he does come back i will definitely consider it but right now, i am so angry at him that i dont want to. But i dont know why i cant help but want him to realize that he lost something too? I feel so empty. But why does it feel like he never felt my loss? I dont know this for sure but he has a new girlfriend now. He looks so happy and in love with her. In fact, both of them looks so happy and in love with each other. Everyone keeps telling me that i will find someone better. But right now, not only have i not found anyone and he did. But it seems that he's the one who found someone better than me. The new girl seems to have the balance of him and friends. Something i never had because i made everything about him. He was my first boyfriend and i realize now that it's important to balance a life in the relationship and outside of it. I feel that the new girl is exactly like me only better. Ive seen how she acts and talks and it really is like me. How is he supposed to feel my loss if he found someone better than me? I dont know why but I want him to feel that he lost something too. It's so important for me to know that i truly meant something to him. He was my first love. I was his first love. But feeling this way, i started thinking, hes so in love with the new girl that what if he realizes i wasnt his first love but the new girl is. Because maybe he was never in love with me at all. Being together for two years, i know he loved me so much. I could feel it and i know it. But seeing him with his new girl now, i dont know if he'll even remember that i was once a part of his life. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 You guys heard of the line "You don't know what you have until you've lost it?" I dont exactly want my ex back. Im not gonna lie and say if he does come back i will definitely consider it but right now, i am so angry at him that i dont want to. But i dont know why i cant help but want him to realize that he lost something too? I feel so empty. But why does it feel like he never felt my loss? I dont know this for sure but he has a new girlfriend now. He looks so happy and in love with her. In fact, both of them looks so happy and in love with each other. Everyone keeps telling me that i will find someone better. But right now, not only have i not found anyone and he did. But it seems that he's the one who found someone better than me. The new girl seems to have the balance of him and friends. Something i never had because i made everything about him. He was my first boyfriend and i realize now that it's important to balance a life in the relationship and outside of it. I feel that the new girl is exactly like me only better. Ive seen how she acts and talks and it really is like me. How is he supposed to feel my loss if he found someone better than me? I dont know why but I want him to feel that he lost something too. It's so important for me to know that i truly meant something to him. He was my first love. I was his first love. But feeling this way, i started thinking, hes so in love with the new girl that what if he realizes i wasnt his first love but the new girl is. Because maybe he was never in love with me at all. Being together for two years, i know he loved me so much. I could feel it and i know it. But seeing him with his new girl now, i dont know if he'll even remember that i was once a part of his life. I'm in the same situation. I wish my ex realized that maybe I meant something to her and she would come back. Bad news though. She is in love with her new partner and ignores me and I guess I offended her new love and her so she hates me completely. She's over me completely and its so painful knowing I'm nothing to her after all the love we shared. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) But feeling this way, i started thinking, hes so in love with the new girl that what if he realizes i wasnt his first love but the new girl is. Because maybe he was never in love with me at all. Being together for two years, i know he loved me so much. I could feel it and i know it. But seeing him with his new girl now, i dont know if he'll even remember that i was once a part of his life. He knows your his first love, but he might not tell her that. He might tell her that she is his first love. Some people do that crap. Changing who their first love is. I still worry like that too. My ex was my first love and I was her first bf, but maybe not her first love. She'll probably tell the other guy that he is her first love. Oh well. That's life. Edited January 1, 2011 by Leandro Link to post Share on other sites
bl22 Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 Im in the same boat. I know we wont be getting back together anytime soon but Id just like to know the time we shared wasnt a waste of time, that it did mean something. I know it did but her actions right now show that she doesnt give a damn. After all the effort and love i gave her, and she gave it back even more so...whats so hard about 1 apology for ending it how she did? Its not. I think she lost a great bond that cant just be found, but I feel its going to take something tragic for her to contact me again. Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 Shes not better, shes just different.Your fine, am fine and why they moved on to other people isnt about us. When we think of them we need to send them Love and Light and forget it. Try it, works for me. Here comes a new year, time for a new beginning.Happy New Year!!! feel better.... Link to post Share on other sites
Fern Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 She's not you darling. You may have some superficial similarities but she will NEVER replace you - especially not if that's all he's trying to do. You are INCREDIBLY different people despite any physical similarities too. Once he gets past that - she'll have stuff about her that irritates him EVEN more than your irritating stuff. Nobody is any 'better' than anyone else. Just different. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 your ex will focus on bad things, not good things. They'll completely forget everything positive you did for them and all your unique qualities. Makes it easier to justify their actions/move on. Link to post Share on other sites
jquest1280 Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 [quote It's so important for me to know that i truly meant something to him. Here are 3 words for you: LET IT GO. Don't give in to these feelings. Just be the best you can be. One day he may acknowledge your role in his life story. But he may never tell you that, or even if he does, by then, maybe you won't care to hear it anymore like you care now. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) your ex will focus on bad things, not good things. They'll completely forget everything positive you did for them and all your unique qualities. Makes it easier to justify their actions/move on. Sometimes. Other times, they vilify you in the beginning then as they grow weary of the new person, they start to idealize you (the ex)--and remember only the good times. After that, they'll sometimes try for a second chance. But second chances so rarely work. OP, I think 98% of us dumpees feel as you do. Truth is you will ALWAYS be special because you were The First; because you have memories & experiences together he doesn't have with anyone else; because only you are you. The things he loved about you can't be touched because they're unique only to YOU. The feelings you're having will lessen with time as he becomes less important. What he thinks stops mattering until we REALLY don't care at all. Doesn't that sound lovely?!?! Edited January 1, 2011 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
Sonolumino Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 How is he supposed to feel my loss if he found someone better than me? I feel that for sure. I want to be missed and feel like I matter, but she's "falling in love" with another person and hasn't given me a second thought. What's weird is she used to say the same things about me, how we wanted to get married, how amazing I was, etc., all the bull**** she says about him now. It makes me feel like she never loved me at all, the way you can move on literally in 5 weeks with someone you've never met after a 3.5 year relationship. I don't know how they do it honestly, especially after all the proclamations of "eternal love". Oh well. We're the ones who actually have to confront our feelings of loss. I think if we do it correctly, don't hide the feelings, then we'll actually be better off then they are in the end. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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