Evans89 Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) I have, for sometime, been struggling with the problem of getting into a relationship with a potential date and as a consequence become an angry and frustrated person-with myself, females and the world. I desperately want advises as to where the underlying issue lies. To begin, I am 21, and considered to be attractive in the looks department. I'm I'm an intelligent and confident individual and always straight forth with my intents and words. I have an exaggerated appetite for personal time and space to myself-not shy but very introvert. My personality, if anyone is familiar with the Myber-Briggs Type Indicator, an INTJ. But, I'm known to be a very nice person (definition of "nice" in the sense of not being a push over but one who would provide assistance as to the best of my ability if I could, but yet feel under no social pressure or obligation to do so). Of course, I tend to be less straight forth with my comments and sweeter in my comments towards the said date in question. I have informally dated 4 girls before but none has transcend beyond the initial physical attraction. What this means is that we go for movies and dinner dates but the moment I pop the confession, I was awarded the typical "I'd rather we be friends or something along that familiar line". I do not usually talk a lot(since I do not have a natural tendency to talk, but would rather prefer to listen to what she has to converse and to the extend I could offer verbal assistance, I do so) and so our dates are generally quiet. Don't get this wrong, I feel comfortable in the presence of silence. Take the latest girl who rejected me as an example. I got to know her last December 2009. And it was only in June 2010 that I begin to go out with her due to an escalating interest from my part. I confessed to her in September 2010 after going out with her for about 6 times throughout a time period of 4 months. I know 6 informal dates within 4 months is really too little but aforementioned, I do require time and space to myself. She has never really rejected my 'dates'. However, we do text one another from the day of having known one another with the text flirting frequency increasing when I decided to pursue her. She has recently got into a relationship with a guy 2 months back. I have asked her out on Christmas eve for dinner with her acceding to the request. Yes, I pay for the dinner as like always. I don't even get a Christmas greeting or New year's greeting from her (not that I care, but given that she's an extreme extrovert, her greetings would say something about her) Being rejected by 4 girls straight consecutively is not an interesting experience. I actually asked her the reason as to why I was rejected. The answer was "You're really nice but you need a little more luck". Typical bull****. The more antagonizing part is having to see them get into a relationship shortly after rejecting me. Now I want to know where my problem lies; I growing extremely angry, mean and isolated from the opposite gender. Edited January 1, 2011 by Evans89 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evans89 Posted January 1, 2011 Author Share Posted January 1, 2011 No one in all their gazillion years of dating experiences on this board could diagnose the problem? Can't believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
jenifer1972 Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Would really need to see you in action, but a couple of things I see. Women don't want to do all the talking. They want a guy who engages with them, flirts and playfully spars a bit. Sounds like you may be making everything seem too serious too soon and it scares them off a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
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