inlimboagain Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 Just when you finally think you have moved on from an ended affair you find out not only was he having an affair with me but also with another 2 women that we know of he told the same stories and the same lies even slept with us on the same day. he was currently having 2 affairs when he started the one with me, not only do i not understand why he felt the need to start another but nor do i understand why he did this to his poor wife she has since found out about the others, she had found out about ours and decided to forgive him. what type of person can do this. thank god i got out of that when i did Link to post Share on other sites
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 A married man that is willing to cheat on his wife with you didn't deserve your trust. I don't mean this to sound harsh, but hopefully this taught you something... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 what type of person can do this. thank god i got out of that when i did This type of person: he having an affair with me Do you really expect fidelity from someone who is having an affair? If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you. Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 what type of person can do this. Someone who doesnt care about anyone but them self. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inlimboagain Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 my affair with him ended awhile ago, so was over him, but his other affair started a long time before me and still went on after me. and there was others in between his wife has now took him back????? Link to post Share on other sites
lavendera Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Undoubtedly she has taken him back because he has been on his knees begging her to. He could have finally hit the wall and realized that she really is the one he loved, he screwed up royally, and he's ready to be married. He also told her that none of you meant a hill of beans to him other than something different. They're also in a world of hurt right now and will take a very long time to heal, which means that guy is working his butt off to change his behavior. There's probably a lot that he hasn't told her and I'm sure she asks him questions on a daily basis. it's going to be rough going for them for a number of years while he shows her that he's not that guy anymore. Obviously she loves him. He's her husband and the father of her children. She wants it to work. I'd say one more screw up and his behind is going to be freshly mown lawn. I hope for their sake he's serious about being a different man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inlimboagain Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Undoubtedly she has taken him back because he has been on his knees begging her to. He could have finally hit the wall and realized that she really is the one he loved, he screwed up royally, and he's ready to be married. He also told her that none of you meant a hill of beans to him other than something different. They're also in a world of hurt right now and will take a very long time to heal, which means that guy is working his butt off to change his behavior. There's probably a lot that he hasn't told her and I'm sure she asks him questions on a daily basis. it's going to be rough going for them for a number of years while he shows her that he's not that guy anymore. Obviously she loves him. He's her husband and the father of her children. She wants it to work. I'd say one more screw up and his behind is going to be freshly mown lawn. I hope for their sake he's serious about being a different man. he doesnt have children but your right good luck to them Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 what type of person can do this? Someone like you, obviously. You thought it was just fine to have an affair with him knowing he was married. But it suddenly gets creepy because the guy was dipping his wick in several different women besides you? :laugh::laugh: Did you think she was his "poor wife" when you thought it was only YOU he was cheating with? The hypocrisy in this thread is making my brain bleed. Link to post Share on other sites
lavendera Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Someone like you, obviously. You thought it was just fine to have an affair with him knowing he was married. But it suddenly gets creepy because the guy was dipping his wick in several different women besides you? :laugh::laugh: Did you think she was his "poor wife" when you thought it was only YOU he was cheating with? The hypocrisy in this thread is making my brain bleed. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inlimboagain Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Someone like you, obviously. You thought it was just fine to have an affair with him knowing he was married. But it suddenly gets creepy because the guy was dipping his wick in several different women besides you? :laugh::laugh: Did you think she was his "poor wife" when you thought it was only YOU he was cheating with? The hypocrisy in this thread is making my brain bleed. really so you have never read my other posts, which states what happened there. i never once said i was blameless in all this, but it ended because i was wrong and i came to my senses... maybe read my other post and when you have been in that situation come and reply until then i wouldnt. Isn't it always the woman that gets blamed before the man actually having the affair! and telling the lies. what lies did i tell none! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 really so you have never read my other posts, which states what happened there. No. Replies are based on the information given in the thread. This applies to every thread, not just yours. If there is other relevant information then it is your fault for not giving it in your OP. If you want people to read your story before replying then you should put a link to it in the OP. This is the CFJ forum and you are an affair partner. Maybe try the Other Man/Woman forum if you want sympathy? You won't find much here I'm afraid. You are pissed at your MM because he cheated... DUH... you made that bed I'm afraid, you knew he was a cheater, what did you expect? Link to post Share on other sites
Author inlimboagain Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 well even if you read the start you would see i was not looking for sympathy at all. i was simply stating that i was glad i got when i did, and was starting a convo based on what type of person does this at no point did i refer to me being upset i said and quote thank god i got when i did. and also i said i cant understand why anyone would do such a thing, yes i wrong is in the first place and was honest in this thread and stated i had an affair with him that had ended. anyone who has cheated or has been cheated on may of been able to explain or comment on it. and the forum is that cheating... that is what this subject is about???? or am i wrong?? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 what type of person does this I suggest you look in a mirror. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 well even if you read the start you would see i was not looking for sympathy at all. i was simply stating that i was glad i got when i did, and was starting a convo based on what type of person does this at no point did i refer to me being upset i said and quote thank god i got when i did. and also i said i cant understand why anyone would do such a thing, yes i wrong is in the first place and was honest in this thread and stated i had an affair with him that had ended. anyone who has cheated or has been cheated on may of been able to explain or comment on it. and the forum is that cheating... that is what this subject is about???? or am i wrong?? My bet is that he is a sexual addict, google it and see if the behaviours fit. Better yet, read Out of the Shadows. You may wish to review it in case you come accross someone like MM again. You may have your own issues to deal with and it is good that you are out of the situation now. The wife took him back for two reasons: 1. She is co-dependent to his issues 2. She is traumatized and trying to cling to her old life for safety, the old life involves him. Whether or not she loves, don't know. Do know that the above two reasons apply. Often MM pick OW that have similar issues to the W. You may want to consider examining the two issues above in yourself (perhaps childhood or relational trauma and the co-dependency). Good luck. Stay away from the MMen. Link to post Share on other sites
carrie999 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Undoubtedly she has taken him back because he has been on his knees begging her to. He could have finally hit the wall and realized that she really is the one he loved, he screwed up royally, and he's ready to be married. He also told her that none of you meant a hill of beans to him other than something different. They're also in a world of hurt right now and will take a very long time to heal, which means that guy is working his butt off to change his behavior. There's probably a lot that he hasn't told her and I'm sure she asks him questions on a daily basis. it's going to be rough going for them for a number of years while he shows her that he's not that guy anymore. Obviously she loves him. He's her husband and the father of her children. She wants it to work. I'd say one more screw up and his behind is going to be freshly mown lawn. I hope for their sake he's serious about being a different man. Ummm, I beg to differ. While it's an outside possibility that he's "working his butt off to change," it's not likely. It's impossible to put every person who cheats in the same box. Someone who has a long-term affair with one other person who they love (or believe they love) is as guilty of being unfaithful as the person who sleeps with multiple partners, but they're very different people in two very different types of affairs. IMO, there is more hope for the person who strayed with one person, recognized the error of their ways, and chose to make it right with the current spouse. The latter type is a sex addict who craves excitement, and it is purely lust (rather than a combination of love and lust) that guides their behaviors. Link to post Share on other sites
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