what do I do?

[Nicky]

Hi

 

I'd appreciate a miracle! In June I split up with my BF. We were the "love of each other's lives". We worked sooooo hard to sort out our differences, but love just wasn't enough- very sadly.

 

I moved house recently. He still has problems in his life, one being financial. He is helping me do up the house, and this work has become (& will be) his only income.

 

When we split, we both really wanted to remain friends. I am very fond of him. However unfortunately he keeps having digs at me eg "going out with you was awful" (bit juvenile for a 46yr old, eh?). This I can bear, but he treats me as he used to- when things go wrong in his life he takes it out on me.

 

I DON'T like being treated like this. I think to discuss it with him would make matters worse. I doubt he'd admit to his behaviour. Yet, I know if I ended his work here, it would cause huge problems in his life. Also, I don't think I'd be a very good friend to do that, even if he isn't being a friend to me right now. He's getting me down, but I don't know the best way to deal with this. I'm trying to keep a distance from him, but would prefer a better solution. Any ideas?

 

P.S. Hi to Tony, don't know if you remeber me- I'm in London, and used to respond to emails in May/April. Even if you don't remember me- I hope you're well!

[help me]

Hi

 

thanks for the advice on mine. I have one question for you. have you talked to him about this. I am assuming not because i have a feeling if you did, it would stop. Just tell him everything that you told us. The worst that can come out of it is that he does not respect your reques and you have to let him go. Well, aren't you on the verge of that anyway?

 

have a good day

[Nicky]

Hi thanks for the advice on mine. I have one question for you. have you talked to him about this. I am assuming not because i have a feeling if you did, it would stop. Just tell him everything that you told us. The worst that can come out of it is that he does not respect your reques and you have to let him go. Well, aren't you on the verge of that anyway? have a good day

many thanks- you have made a very good point, and you're right. Thanks for helping me decide what to do

 

all the best

[Deejette]

Thanks for your response to my problem, Nicky. Anyway, I think your ex-BF sounds like a toxic person who wants to drag you down, even though you are helping him out financially. He is the one who got himself into financial difficulties and you are not responsible for that. He sounds like he is ungrateful for your help by saying what he did about dating you. You sound like a kind, sweet person and you need to find someone who will really appreciate you for what you are. As hard as it may seem, it is important to get toxic people out of our lives before they destroy too much of our happiness.

Hi I'd appreciate a miracle! In June I split up with my BF. We were the "love of each other's lives". We worked sooooo hard to sort out our differences, but love just wasn't enough- very sadly. I moved house recently. He still has problems in his life, one being financial. He is helping me do up the house, and this work has become (& will be) his only income. When we split, we both really wanted to remain friends. I am very fond of him. However unfortunately he keeps having digs at me eg "going out with you was awful" (bit juvenile for a 46yr old, eh?). This I can bear, but he treats me as he used to- when things go wrong in his life he takes it out on me. I DON'T like being treated like this. I think to discuss it with him would make matters worse. I doubt he'd admit to his behaviour. Yet, I know if I ended his work here, it would cause huge problems in his life. Also, I don't think I'd be a very good friend to do that, even if he isn't being a friend to me right now. He's getting me down, but I don't know the best way to deal with this. I'm trying to keep a distance from him, but would prefer a better solution. Any ideas?

 

P.S. Hi to Tony, don't know if you remeber me- I'm in London, and used to respond to emails in May/April. Even if you don't remember me- I hope you're well!